But that is, of course, impossible to do, wen you've got Nick Carter for a room mate.
"TACOS!" he screamed the minute they got back onto the bus.
I stretched, my back protesting, my chest tight, and winced. I sat up and forced a smile onto my face, and just in time, too - Leighanne and Nick bust into the living area, donned with plastic Taco Bell take-out bags. Leighanne lowered herself on the sofa next to me and started pulling out Nachos and hard shell tacos. My favorites. Now that they were here there was maybe a little bit of room in my stomach for it...
A few minutes - and many tacos - later, Nick stood up and wiggled his juicy, cheesy fingers in our direction. "Gotta go wash the digits," he announced and disappeared into the bathroom.
"So was he... I dunno, human?" I asked, trying to come up with an adjective for Nick's behavior.
Leighanne laughed. "Nick's a doll," she answered. She smiled at me. She reached up and touche my jaw bone. "I really wish you'd listen," she whispered.
Not this crap again.
"I reallyam fine," I argued.
Leighanne sighed, but she dropped it and turned back to the food. "So Nick ordered all this fattening food, right?" she started -
"And then ordered a diet Coke?" I predicted, interrupting her.
Leighanne laughed. "What the hell is the thought process behind that?"
I shrugged, "Who knows. It's Nick." Leighanne laughed.
Nick came back out of the bathroom with a strange expression on his face and lowered himself back down into the seat where all his food was. He glanced my way, and I had a hard time trying to figure out if it was because of something evil he'd done, or if it was because of something that was legitimately bothering him. "What's up, dude?" I asked.
Nick shrugged and grabbed a taco. I glanced at Leighanne, who shrugged.
"You okay?" I asked.
Nick picked at the taco, stripping its lettuce off. "Uh huh..." he muttered quietly.
I eyeballed him. "Nick..." I said.
He swallowed a bite of taco he'd just taken. Then he glanced at Leighanne. He looked back at me. "Brian, I needa talk to you," he said. He paused. "It's kinda serious."
I looked at Leighanne too. Her cheeks were pink. She stood up. "I think I know what this is about, and I'm gonna let you boys have some private time." She smiled at Nick, then scrambled off the bus.
I looked at Nick. "What the hell is going on?" I asked.
Nick bit his lower lip. "I- I..." he paused. "No yanno what, I can't."
"Nick, I'm okay, really," I said, assuming he was about to bring up my heart." Leighanne is overreacting...."
"She tried to seduce me and sex me up at Taco Bell!" Nick wailed suddenly, a mouthful of words tumbling out of his face at once.
I stared at him. "What?"
"Leighanne... she wants me... she wanted sex at Taco Bell in the bathroom..." he paused. "I- I feel - I'm sorry..." he looked down at the tacos.
"It's a misunderstanding, Nick," I laughed.
Nick pulled a cell phone out of his pocket -- who the hell knew he even HAD a cell phone? -- and he held it out to me. "I- it recorded the - what she said..."
"Nick, Leighanne did not try to sex you up at Taco Be--"
His thumb pressed play.
"Nick you're the best..."
Leighanne's husky voice filled the air between us.
I stared at Nick's hand. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I rubbed my chest.
"I'm sorry," Nick said quietly, looking at his lap. "I- I told her not to... To get offa me..." He looked up at me with those puppy eyes of his. "She was like all over me... saying how great I am..." He paused. "You know, I think she like wanted a ... a uh.. yanno, a threesome."
I looked up at Nick the moment the words were out of his mouth. Our eyes locked.
I knew Brian well. There was no way in hell he would even consider a threesome. Not even with two girls. He was just Jesus-fied like that.
"Nick," Bri said slowly. "Tell me exactly what happened."
Ugh, it was bad enough lying to him the first time. I shifted uncomfortably and stuffed some more lettuce in my mouth.
"She was petting me. Y'know my arm. And her boobs were all like there and then she said I was the best and she was getting all goo-goo eyed and..."
Bri looked like he was going to be sick. Even so, he took my phone and pressed play again.
"Nick you're the best...Nick you're the best..."
"I can't believe this," he said. He didn't look good. He was all clammy...and pale.
Maybe Leighanne did have a point about his heart.
"Scuse me," he said.
Before I could stop him, he left the bus.
I know I should have given them privacy, but my curiosity got the best of me. I found a window near where they were standing and cranked it open.
"Nick? No, there's no way--"
"I heard you!"
"You've got it all wrong. This is about your heart--"
"I've told you a million times. There's nothing wrong with my heart!"
"Brian, I can't date someone who won't take care of himself. I can't bare to lose--"
"Leigh, you don't have to worry about dating me anymore. I think we just need to take a break."
There was a heavy silence. My mouth fell open. Did I hear him right?
"Bri..."
"Leigh," his voice was thick. "I love you, but I can't have you harping about this surgery thing. I'm not getting it done and that's that. Plus, I don't like this whole Nick thing--"
"There ISN'T a Nick thing! Where is he?"
I flew from the window. I dove for the safety of my bunk. I yanked the curtain back, crawled in, and flipped the curtain shut.
After a minute or so, I was kinda bummed I hadn't brought a taco with me. I took off my sock and started to pick my toe.
"Fine!"
Leighanne's teary voice made me jump. I heard a curtain fly open, but it wasn't mine.
"You don't have to go so soon," Bri said awkwardly.
"Why would I stay?" she sobbed. "You said it yourself. We're taking a break."
Brian sighed. "Leigh, I just--"
There was a huge sniffle. "NO. Call me if you change your mind about the surgery. Brian Littrell you have so much to give this world. You deserve more time down here with the people who love you. And...and...damnit I love you."
I heard her clippy-cloppy shoes walking away. There was a creaking of a mattress. Bri didn't go after her.
Woah. That was...intense. It was weird, but I didn't feel so happy about the two of them breaking up as I thought I would. I pulled the curtain back a little bit. Bri had his head in his hands.
"Bri-iaaan," I whispered. He looked at me. I could see the tears welling up. "It's going to be okay," I said. He gave me a weak smile.
"I know what I'm doing," he said. I nodded. I fully supported his decisions. It was just like a woman to try to act like they knew everything.
A real man made his own decisions.
