"Brian...?" Nick's voice was quiet, tentative.
I didn't move.
"Brian?" I felt his finger tap me on the shoulder. "Please get up, Brian," he begged. I could hear the desperation in his voice.
I sighed, "I don't feel good, Nick, please... Just leave me alone." I hugged my knees to my chest and closed my eyes.
"You haven't felt good in like a week, BRok," he argued, "Please?"
"I'm tired Nick, leave me alone."
"You're just sad about Leighanne," he countered, "You're not gonna get over her until you do something besides think about her..."
I closed my eyes at the name, a stinging pain shot through my chest and I sucked in my breath.
"Brian?" Nick's voice sounded concerned.
"I don't wanna hear that name."
"Sorry," he mumbled.
He was quiet for a few minutes. In fact, I thought he'd gone, that's how quiet he was. Then he sat down on the edge of the sofa behind me. "Brian, please talk to me. Please."
His voice was sad. I sighed and pushed myself up. My chest felt like it'd been sewn to the cushions. I turned to look at him once I'd wiped the wince off my face. I stared right into his eyes. They were bright, bright blue. "What, Nick?" I asked.
Nick eye-balled me. "I'm sorry she left," he offered.
"I'm sure you are," I muttered.
Nick hung his head.
"I'm sorry, I know its not your fault, you did the right thing, telling me the truth." Nick's lower lip clamped under his teeth and he stared at me. "I'm glad I know. Really."
Nick slid off the sofa and onto the floor and sighed and rested his chin on his knees.
I rolled back over.
"Bri, can we please do something?" he begged.
"I'm tired Nick," I answered, "Maybe tomorrow."
"You're always tired now," he argued.
"We work hard, Nick, okay?"
"Why don't you call her?" he asked.
"No. She tried to cheat on me - and with my best friend no less," I scowled.
Nick stared at his toes.
"I just wanna be alone," I explained. "You wouldn't understand."
"Can you be alone together?" he asked.
I stared at Nick. This question would only make sense to him. "I guess," I relented. He lay down on the floor and silence fell over us again.
"Brian?" he asked finally.
"Yeah?"
Nick's eyes peeked over the edge of the sofa cushion. "Is there something wrong with your heart?"
It was easier to lie to Leighanne about my heart than it was Nick. I guess it was because I could feel him analyzing me. I hesitated. "Not really," I ventured.
"Then why is --" he paused, "The L-word so worried about it?"
"She's... neurotic," I said slowly, "I guess."
Nick stared at me, his blue eyes hesitant. "You'd tell me if there was somethin' wrong, right?"
"Uh huh," I muttered.
"Okay." Nick lay back down.
After a long time had passed, I said slowly, "Nick...?"
"Hm?"
"Thank you."
"For what?" he asked.
"For telling me the truth."
Nick bit his lower lip. "Brian..."
"No Nick. I really appreciate it." I smiled at him. "You're my best friend. If I can't trust you, who else can I trust?" I ruffled his hair. "I love ya lil bro."
"Brian..."
He sighed and rolled over. I didn't know if someone could die over a broken heart, but if anyone could, my money was on Bri.
I sprawled out on the floor for a good long time. Only after I heard Brian's breathing grow steady and slow did I scramble up. The drivers had stopped to eat. I hopped off the bus and looked around. I needed advice.
I needed 'the brows.'
I found him sitting in the diner hunched over a cup of coffee. I scrambled up on the chair beside him.
"Kev, I need help. I did something bad, real bad. Brian's dying and--"
"Wait. What? Did you say Brian's dying?"
"Well, maybe."
Kev rolled his eyes. "What's this about?"
I shifted uncomfortably. "I might have lied a little bit about Leighanne coming onto me," I said. The big break-up was no big secret; Brian was the type of guy that didn't hesitate to share his issues. Well, except about his heart. I was beginning to think Leighanne had a point...
"Explain 'a little bit,'" Kevin said with a frown.
"Well I might have taken her words out of context and played them back with some made-up story about how Leighanne wanted my bod," I rambled.
"NICK!"
"What? I don't like her!"
"Did you ever stop and think that everything isn't about you?"
Damn. What a way to put it. I shrugged. "I dunno. I mean, Bri had his ear stuck to his phone all the time and he was distracted and this is like my FIRST trip without mom around and I just wanted fun! I'm not having fun Kev!"
"So you just decided to ruin his relationship? That's low Nick."
I sighed. I grabbed his coffee and took a sip. I made a face. He never put sugar in anything.
"I know. That's why I'm talking to you. I feel kinda BAD."
"You know what you need to do then don't you?"
I blinked. "No?"
For a moment I was sure he was going to smack me. His heavy brows became one single angry line.
"You need to tell Brian the truth."
I hung my head. "Damnit, I knew you'd say that."
I slid off the stool slowly. Kevin watched me.
"If you don't, I'm going to have to," he warned. I waved my hand.
"Yeah, yeah."
My walk back to the bus was slow. I scuffed my sneakers onto the blacktop. I didn't want Brian mad at me. How the hell did I always get myself into stuff like this?
Part of me hoped Brian was still sleeping. I took the steps slowly. It was dark. I reached up and turned on some of our low-lights. After a few flickers, they switched on. My eyes widened.
The prettiest girl I'd ever seen in my life was walking through our bus. When she saw me, her eyes got HUGE.
"Uh, hello?"
She responded by taking off her shirt.
I kinda forgot what I was supposed to do right then and there.
