If Nick thought he was gonna have sex on the bus with me laying right there listening then he had another thing coming. I hissed a quiet good-bye to Leighanne and I hung up the phone as stealth-like as I could.
If Nick wanted to get down and dirty - well, he was gonna get dirty all right.
I crawled out of bed and dropped my bare feet to the floor as carefully as I could so that he couldn't hear me. Not much could be heard over the girl's cooing and giggling anyways. Nick's zipper undid and I heard her hum "Ohhh" as I tip-toed toward the little mini fridge. "Nick," she giggled, "You're so bad. Mmm."
I opened the fridge and peeked inside. Mostly empty, except for a liter of Pepsi and Nick's copy of The Shining - why the hell that was in the fridge was beyond me, but okay. I grabbed the Pepsi and started to shake.
"Niiick," the girl was speaking in husky tones by the time I got back to the bunk areas. I could hear him groaning. "Yeah? You like that hmm?"
I shook the soda harder. I had to make sure it was good and ready to blow.
"Oh God yeah," I heard him groan loudly.
I tip toed right up to the bunk. My fingers on the cap of the soda bottle, ready to twist. I took a deep breath, preparing myself...
"Ohhhh God..." Nick groaned again.
"NICK!" I suddenly yelled his name in my most panic stricken-voice I could muster without laughing.
The curtain was yanked open at the speed of light. The girl was kneeling between his legs, his pillow squashed over his waist and thighs, a worried expression on his face. "BRIAN?" he called back, he looked at me, our eyes met for a split second before I twisted the cap.
And then a shower of Pepsi flew everywhere.
Nick let out a shriek louder and more high pitched than his lady friend had managed to let out, and he jumped so high in shock that he literally banged his head on the ceiling of his bunk as the Pepsi shot into his bunk at the speed of light.
When the bottle stopped foaming at the mouth, Nick wiped the soda away from each of his eyes slowly before he focused on me. He sucked in a deep breath. "You sunuvvabitch," he muttered, "I am gonna kill you."
"That's what you get," I said, turning away from him, "For being such a lil horn dog."
The girl grabbed her shirt.
"Wait baby," Nick said, batting at her shirt. He looked at me, eyes suddenly livid. "What happened to the Brian that would've been happy for me?" he demanded.
"Baby," I said. I wrapped my hand around her arm. "I can't let you go like this. At least clean up."
I tried to sound as sincere as possible. Lea paused. Some of the fizz had condensed on her hair. Her mouth that had moments before been south of my border opened slightly.
"I don't think I'm welcome here," she said. My fists clenched; I was so gonna kill Brian. There was no way I was going to let him ruin my independence for a second night in a row.
"Last time I checked, I paid for half of the bus," I said with a smile. "And the shower just so happens to be on my half of the bus."
Lea's eyes sparkled. I really liked her. If we weren't in town for just one night...
Wait, scratch that. Who was I kidding? I wasn't looking for a relationship; I was happy with the one night stand.
While Brian banged around in the kitchen, no doubt grabbing cleaning supplies for his jackass blunder, Lea and I took off towards the bathroom. I was bare-assed, but I didn't care. If Brian didn't like it, he could kiss it. I locked the bathroom door behind us and turned on the shower spray.
Now, the showers on a tour bus are small. They're meant for one person. Lea and I were like a human sandwich.
It was perfect. I made sure to be as NOISY as possible. I slammed against the wall just right to get the bus rocking.
I hoped Brian was sitting there with his bottle of Mr. Clean and a kitchen sponge wishing he was getting down and dirty. If he thought I was going to hook him up ever again, he was dead wrong. Not only did he come really close to hosing me, he also wasted a whole 2-liter of Pepsi.
By the time Lea and I got out of the shower, the bus was quiet. Lea wrapped her arms around me and we shared a long slow kiss.
"Thanks for being so cool about the soda thing," I said. She giggled.
"It's okay. I liked where we ended up."
I grinned. She brushed her fingers through my hair. I walked her to the door of the bus.
"Look me up the next time you come back?" she asked. I nodded.
"Absolutely." Not likely.
She squeezed my hand and walked off the bus. I leaned out in the night air and watched her walk off. I was about ready to head back inside when I heard heavy breathing and a loud whisper.
I hopped off the bus. I was shirtless; but the night was warm. I went into a panther crouch and made my way towards the sound.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so curious. Bri was hunkered down by the bus tire, almost hidden from view. The way his head was tilted told me he was on the phone.
The stupid donkey sounds he was making and the jerky movement of his arm was way more than I wanted to see. I scrambled back around the bus and up the steps.
The dumbshit was making knucklechildren right underneath his bunk window. I pulled out my duffel bags and quickly pawed through until I found what I was looking for. I tore open a package of paintballs and dumped them into my gun. I tested the weight of it in my hand.
If Bri wanted a bang, he was gonna GET one.
