"This shade of blue is really going to bring out the color of your eyes," Kim said. She was working with Krista, the girl who had lost her arm.
"It's the same color as Cookie Monster!" Owen, one of the little boys exclaimed. He was glued to Kim's elbow. The other boy had gotten bored already with the pretty colors and great smells.
"Shush," Kim said playfully.
"I really like your bracelet."
I was french braiding Jessica's hair. She had been reluctant to take my advice on the style; she was as self-conscious of her scar as I was about my speech.
"Thanks," I said. "I made it myself."
"How?"
"It was simple. Just some beads and cord and--"
"Can you show me next time you come?"
"Well, I--"
"That sounds like a wonderful idea!" Kim said happily. "Every beautiful girl needs some great accent pieces."
I laughed softly. My fingers flew through Jessica's hair. It felt like silk.
"So what's your story?" she asked. I paused, rooting through the little cup on the table for a bobby pin.
"My story?"
"How'd you get--" Jessica tugged on a lobe.
"I was born way too early and got sick. It took my hearing."
"Don't mind Jess. She's a newbie. She has to know everyone's story," Krista said. She rolled her eyes and puckered her lips as Kim applied a thin coat of gloss.
Jess tried to turn her head, but I had too firm a grip on her hair. She shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry, I forgot it was 'taboo' to discuss why we're in purgatory."
Rachel, the girl in the hospital bed, teared up. "It's better if we forget."
"Are you telling me you can forget passing out drunk on the train tracks?" Jess said bitterly in Rachel's direction.
"Jess," Krista said in warning.
"What? Are you going to sit there and pretend you and your mom weren't homeless? That the abandoned house you were holing away in wasn't enough to keep you out of that tornado?"
Jess was talking so fast she could barely breathe.
"Don't you think I want to forget the vision of my stepdad coming at me with the knife?"
"SHUT UP!"
The voice was loud and unexpected. I jumped, knocking into the table holding my cup of bobby pins. They scattered across the top, some clattering to the floor.
Cole didn't look in our direction, but his forehead was creased in annoyance. "Some girls would be grateful to get their hair and shit done. And some of us are trying to enjoy the day."
"And Legos!" Owen added.
Krista smiled. "I know what would make us feel better Cole," she taunted. "How about we cut the mop that's resting on your head."
"No one touches me," he said angrily.
"Snip, snip. Snip, snip. Here comes Ally with the scissors!" Jessica said. She made snipping noises with the cutters I wasn't using and stomping noises with her heavy Oxfords.
Cole began to swat as if I was really coming up to him.
"Get away!"
"Girls, knock it off," Kim said sternly. Even when reprimanding she didn't yell.
I really liked that.
Cole sank back in his chair, still tense.
Even so, he didn't leave.
Two hours later the girls were, as Kim called it, 'glam.' Blanche came in and slowly began to wheel out those that needed assistance. While Kim packed up her box, I shuffled quietly over to Cole.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey."
I held out my hand. "We weren't properly introduced. I'm Ally."
He didn't make a move to shake my hand. In fact, he continued to stare into space. "Cole."
"What did you think of the before and after?" I asked. I don't know why I wasn't timid to strike a conversation. Maybe my curiosity was trumping my reluctance.
Cole smirked. "Aren't they all still the same on the inside?"
"Maybe so, but new things can do wonders to a person's confidence."
"And what spikes your confidence, Ally?"
His question threw me. "My confidence?"
"That's right."
I had to think about that. I felt the tension from the silence. "Helping people," I finally said.
"I guess you've come to the right place. Just realize there's no cure."
"You don't see the world through rose-colored glasses, do you?" I asked. I couldn't help but use one of mom's phrases.
Cole's smile widened. I was dying to see his eyes, but he tucked his head farther down. "I don't need glasses. I see from inside."
It was the strangest comment I had ever heard. "Wha--"
He didn't give me time to finish my question. He stood up and slapped at the side of the chair pressed against the window.
I hadn't noticed the walking stick until that moment. He clutched it and tapped it out in front of him. He tapped my shoe.
"Excuse me," he said lightly. I stepped aside. I hated the gasp the moment it escaped from between my lips.
"I'm sorry," I said stupidly. "I didn't know."
He stopped. "Know what?"
I felt guilty that I had considered his lack of eye contact rude. He hadn't acknowledged my hand because he couldn't see it.
"You didn't look blind," I said quietly.
"I'm sure you don't look hearing impaired," he returned. He started to walk away, but he stopped again, his stick just an inch from the doorframe.
"I hope you realize how lucky you are," he said. "It's nice to meet someone from the outside."
I thought about mom and dad. I thought about Joe. Tears sprang to my eyes. We were all apart when we should be together. We were seperating from each other just like the kids here were seperated. I wrapped my arms around myself as if a sudden chill had attacked me.
"Don't you agree?" Cole asked. He seemed to take my silence as a refusal.
"I do," I said. "It's just...complicated."
"Ah. You coming back next week?"
I was so confused. One second I swore he couldn't stand being bothered and the next...
"If Kim lets me."
"Oh she'll let you. She's the biggest softy around."
"Is that bad?"
Cole laughed. "A shell comes in handy sometimes."
With that, he headed down the hall. I stared at the vacated space, my mind racing.
"So, whatcha think Ally?"
I turned. Kim was holding the handle of her case. I smiled.
"It was fun."
Kim placed her hand on my shoulder. "You, my dear, are going to work out just fine."
I couldn't help it; I preened.
Kim might have been a softy, but she was accomplished and respected. So what if my shell wasn't tough? I had just been told I was fine.
And in my book, fine was good.
