[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Microsoft Word
- Text Size +
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

I couldn't sleep. The music was too loud and there was too much noise downstairs. It wasn't fair that I had to go to sleep the same time as Megan and Taryn. They were two; I was seven--and a quarter. Plus, I was born to party.

It wasn't that I didn't try to sleep. I tossed; I turned. I listed the members of the Celtics that I could remember in my head from dad's favorite to least favorite. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer. I scrambled out of bed and hit the floor.

This was a dangerous mission, but someone had to do it.

I army crawled my way out of my room and slithered down the hall to mom and dad's room. There was a little light on, enough so that I could see where I was going without bumping into anything. I made my way into their bathroom. I scrambled up and found what I needed in the medicine cabinet. I grabbed mom's eyeliner and swiped one heavy black line under my eyes. I smiled.

I was invisible.

I put the eyeliner back and dropped back down, just in case. Loud laughter floated up the stairs along with a loud finger whistle. My elbows pressed into the soft carpet as I made my way towards the landing.

My oldest sister Brooke was huddled in the corner with her boyfriend. She was holding a wine glass and laughing hysterically. My older brother Noah was in another corner. His girlfriend Kayleigh was sitting on his lap and they were kissing. Ga-ross.

All of mom and dad's friends were there - Uncle Howie and his wife Leigh, Uncle Brian and Aunt LeighLeigh, Uncle AJ and his wife Molly. I saw mom move towards the stairs. She was wearing a short red dress with white trim. I went flat as a pancake; even though I was invisible, I didn't want to take a chance. I held my breath. Mom paused, said something to Molly, and moved a little farther towards the door. My head shot back up.

I scanned the room again. I didn't see dad anywhere. He had brought me up to my room. He had tucked Megan and Taryn in. Where was he now?

I saw mom peek out the window. She turned and waved at the group. "He's here!"

There was a large wave of laughter. Mom went back to watching the window. Finally she stepped away and put her hand on the door. She threw it open. I bit my hand to keep from squealing.

It was SANTA.

"HO-HO-HO!" he rumbled loudly. I heard Noah groan. Brooke tossed back whatever was left in her glass. I didn't know what everyone else did. My eyes went right back to SANTA. Mom closed the door behind him.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" he bellowed. He put down a huge red sack. It was filled with presents.

I wiggled in excitement, wondering if any of those presents were for me. I really wanted a scooter. Please, please, please!

Santa pulled the sack to dad's chair. I felt so bad. Dad was missing SANTA! Santa sat himself down and patted his lap. "Who's first?"

Uncle Bri was the first. He tore over and sat on Santa's lap. He looked so funny all baldy and old and smily sitting there on Santa's lap. Santa patted Brian's head.

"I know just the gift for you," Santa rumbled. He handed Uncle Bri a package. Uncle Bri didn't even bother to get off Santa's lap. He tore the package open. He stared down at the box for a minute and started to laugh.

He held up a wig.

Everyone else thought that was totally funny. Aunt LeighLeigh covered her mouth and snorted. Uncle Bri put it on his head; it looked like a dead hamster.

I really hoped Santa didn't get me one of those for Christmas.

I don't remember what everyone got, but everyone took a turn on Santa's lap. Even Uncle Howie, who got a box of fake Monopoly money took his turn. Santa was the nicest to Brooke. She got a pretty watch that sparkled when she held it up.

Santa got a big kiss for that.

I was sure Santa was done with the big people and was going to start putting my presents under the tree, but he didn't move from his chair. He looked around the room.

"Ho-ho-ho! I saved the best for last!"

He opened his arms. Mom went over to him and sank down on his lap. She bent her knee over the arm of the chair.

"Have you been a GOOD girl this year?" Santa asked loudly. Mom giggled.

"Yes," she said.

"I've heard differently," Santa said seriously. My eyes widened. How could that be? Mommy was the good-est person I knew. I frowned and scooted closer to the opening of the stairs. If Santa was going to be mean to mom, well...I had her back.

"Well, Santa thinks this dress is good," Santa continued. Mom covered his mouth. Santa winked at her. He reached down and pulled out a small package.

"I think this is for you," he said. Mom went to reach for it, but he held it up high.

"Nu-uh. Look up."

Mom looked up. So did I. A big green thing was hanging over the chair. Mom looked at Santa.

"Do I have to?" she asked. She didn't sound upset about it.

"If you want your present," Santa said with a smile.

I could not BELIEVE what happened next. Mom wrapped her arms around Santa's neck and KISSED him. And I don't mean just a little kiss on his cheek either. I mean like a LONG kiss. Like the kisses mom and dad share when they think no one else is around. The kind of kiss that made Uncle AJ finger whistle again.

"GET A ROOM!" Uncle Howie yelled. Mom pulled back. Then Santa had the NERVE to kiss her AGAIN!

"UH, MOM?" Noah complained. Mom pulled away. I looked at Noah. I had almost forgotten about him. Why wasn't he punching Santa's lights out?

"Ho-ho-ho. Here you go!" Santa said. He handed mom her present. His arms went around her waist as she tore at the paper. Before she opened the box, she laughed, and pulled Santa's hands down.

That sealed it right then and there. Santa was OFFICIALLY a creep.

Mom lifted the lid of the black box. Her eyes widened. Santa pulled out a heart necklace and put it around her neck.

"I know how upset you were when the original one broke. I had the jeweler recreate it," Santa explained. His voice sounded different. Familiar.

Mom got all teary-eyed. "I love you," she said. She turned and started kissing on Santa again. I couldn't take it anymore.

"HEY!"

Everyone looked at me. I guess my invisibility had worn off, but I didn't care. I stood up and put my hands on my hips. Mom and Santa looked up in surprise.

"STOP kissing my mom!" I yelled.

Uncle AJ started to laugh, but Molly jabbed him in the ribs. Mom climbed off Santa's lap.

"Landon Carter, what are you doing up? You should be sleeping!" she said. She didn't sound mad, just surprised. She climbed up the stairs. I took a step back.

"I'm SO telling dad!" I said angrily.

Mom put her hands on my shoulders. "Let's talk about this in your room."

So, that was the night I learned that dad was one of Santa's cousins. Mom hadn't been kissing the real Santa, she had been kissing dad. Dad was the North Pole representative for the Tampa area.

Pretty cool huh?

"Get some sleep buddy," dad whispered. The beard he was wearing was tucked up under his chin. He pulled the covers up over me.

"Love you," mom said. She hovered over me and gave me a kiss.

I was suddenly tired. Being an invisible army detective was a lot of work. I barely heard mom and dad whispering as they walked out of my room. Dad said something about sitting on Santa's lap again and mom...well, I think mom said yes.