The Forrest of Whispering Leaves
Who defends us when we're preyed
Sii-iir Nick defends us, he's sooo brave
Swings his sword and scares our haters
He even fends off aligators!
Nick, Nick, Sir Nicksalot
We-eee love him with all we've got
Share our nuts and seeds and fish
And would grant him any wish
Oh, oh, oh - you should know
Oh, oh, oh - you should knoo-ooow
How lucky you are to have him -quick, quick, quick-
Thank the Lord for Si-iiir Nick!
I glowered at Nick. He hadn't stopped singing the song. Every time I complained, he'd be quiet a couple seconds, then slowly but surely start humming again, and eventually it ended like this - a grand aria to himself. He was clutching his chest and making dramatic hand motions, dancing about, his "steed" hanging from the ribbon rein around his wrist and his Nerf sword flopping about.
Add the tights and you've got one extremely twisted image, right?
I was trying desperately not to focus on it. Especially since we were slowly but surely making out way into a creep-tastic looking forrest with curly black trees and odd howling noises coming in from all angles. I wished AJ had given me some sort of sword - one that wasn't made of Nerf. God only knew what could be in the woods here.
I stopped myself before the words lions, tigers and bears - oh my could go through my mind.
"Nick," I hissed, after a particularly loud crack echoed out from among the trees. "Dude, do you got any clue where we are?"
He stopped moving. He'd been spinning and dancing around, arms splayed out from his sides, for quite some time now. I was willing to bet he didn't have the slightest clue where we were. He wobbled dangerously, woozy from the spinning, but he nodded. "Yeah, of course I know where we are," he laughed, "Duh. Everyone knows that."
I stared at him dumbly.
"Ohhh right, you dunno that."
I rolled my eyes.
"We are in the Forrest of Whispering Leaves," he said reverently.
"Forrest of whispering leaves?" I repeated, "What?"
"Yeah man," Nick said, "If you listen... the leaves speak."
"What?" I raised my eyebrow. "That's balogna. Nick, leaves can't talk."
"They can!" he said, nodding, "These leaves can. Liiiissssten!" he commanded. He stopped and cupped a hand to his ear, harkening the leaves. I stared at his back, at the weird shape of his head - all the more prominent when his hair was cut short like he'd been doing lately - and waited.
I gave it a fair amount of time, even though I didn't believe it for a second, but stranger things had happened in this dream, but when it became evident that even my twisted subconcious couldn't conjure up talking leaves, I quietly hissed, "Nick is a freaaaaak!" in as mythical a voice as I could muster.
Nick's body tensed upon the hiss, and I rolled my eyes. He strained harder to hear.
"You look like an iddiiiiooootttt!" I added in my whispering leaf voice.
"Duuuude!" Nick whipped around, "Did you hear that?" he asked, eyes aglow.
"It was me," I snapped.
'No no no, not you, you silly billy," he said rolling his eyes back. "The leaves."
"Nick, I was the one saying the --"
"An unbeliever in our midst," hissed a voice that was not my own.
My eyes widened. Nick nodded, "See? See?" he demanded, "I told you."
"Shhh," I gasped.
"Doesn't believe in trees with leaves that talk," muttered another quiet voice, "Fool."
I whipped around, expecting to see somene else mocking Nick by hissing words, but there was no one except the curling branches of the trees.
"They don't like it that you don't believe in them," Nick whispered.
"Well they're trees," I said, "They should really understand that."
"We are leaves," came a louder, bolder voice. "Leaves with souls and feelings..."
"Now you done it," Nick whispered.
"What?" I asked.
Sir Nicksalot --- I mean Nick --- pointed feverishly over my shoulder. "What?" I turned .... just in time to have a large, viney/leafy hand wrap around my waist and lift me up off the ground.
"That!" Nick squeaked. He dove away from a second viney/leafy hand, pulling his so-called steed along with him as he went.
Right there: proof in favor of that whole chivalry being dead thing.
