After the fight about Stella, Alex and I had a fight about Jack, which I won to his dismay. Then about his drinking which no one won, we just started crying and yelling at each other. The next fight was about my self-harm. Okay the truth behind my self-harm isn’t a very nice story but I guess I have to tell you about it. It started back in year 8 when Alex and I were at a private school. Alex was my only friend which was a bad thing because the girls would always tease me, calling me names. Alex knew about the bullying but he didn’t really do anything about it, he didn’t try and stop it, he just stood back and let it happen, until it got too much and he asked if we could leave. That’s one of the reason we left, the other is because Alex was a trouble maker always up to no good, so he got kicked out. After that I stopped for a while because I was safe, away from the mean words and hate. But I was wrong I wasn’t safe, I wasn’t away from the mean words or that the hate. It started again at the beginning of year 10. That’s when I found Stella and we became friends. We got partnered together for an English project and it was instance friendship. I never told her about my cutting but she did find my scars one day and asked me about them. I told her that my family life isn’t the best and it wasn’t. 2004 was a bad year for us. My Dad lost his job and started to drink, which caused him to be violent towards Mum and me. He would always be drunk and yelling at me about his fucked up life. He didn’t even think to ask about my life. Alex knew about this but he didn’t really help. I told him everything about how my father would hit me and make me shower with him. He didn’t rape me. He just touched me. Alex did yell at my Dad and threaten to call the cops on him which caused him to get his acted together. I didn’t tell Alex that I was cutting because I really didn’t want to tell anyone about it. After that my life went up hill. Everything was going my way. I had five friends who I could depend on with my life. I trusted Jack, Alex and Stella the most because they knew me better than Rian and Zack. Since 2004 I haven’t cut myself but I started up again the start of this year 2006.
Alex caught me. Starts fight number 3.

”Jasey, why didn’t you tell me?” he asked tears streaming down his face. I put the knife down and walked over to him.

“Because I didn’t want to worry you” I said. He shook his head. I pulled him into my arms.

“Do you want to kill yourself?” he asked bluntly. I sighed.

“No of course not, it just… I don’t know… I just makes me feel better” I said. He pulled out of my arms and grabbed my wrist. He pushes up my sleeves to see the scars from the past that hadn’t healed fully.

“How long?” he asked. I bit down on my lip not wanting to admit that it’s been going on for a while. I didn’t say anything I just looked down at my wrists. Alex sighed.

“How long?” he asked more harshly.

“Since 2002, year 8” I said softly. Alex swore loudly. I looked up at him as tears fell down my face. I run my fingers through my hair. Alex pulled me into his arms. He kissed the top of my head, whispering to me that everything was alright.

“Why, why did you start this?” he asked. I rolled my eyes at him. He really didn’t know. How clueless can you be?

“You should know” I said.

“What’s that’s meant to mean?” he asked raising an eye brow at me. I pulled out of his embrace and just stormed away.

So that’s the main reason behind Alex and me not talking. I want him back but he said that he won’t stop his drinking because it makes him feel better, so I told him that I won’t stop my cutting for the same reason. We are as stubborn as each other, which is why we get along so well. I smiled to myself. I was sitting in spare just staring out to window trying to forget my worries.

“Jane?” I heard my name. I sighed and looked over to see Rian. I smiled. Rian is cute. It’s kinda hard to explain what he looks like but he is gorgeous.

“Hey” I said. He sat down next to me.

“I’m worried about Alex” he sighed. I nodded.

“So am I. this is the longest we have gone without talking or seeing each other. It’s driving me insane” I laughed. Rian put his hand on my arm.

“He isn’t himself” said Rian shaking his head. I raised an eye brow at him. He wasn’t telling me something and that was making me worry.

“Rian, what aren’t you telling me?” I asked. He took his hand off my arm and put them on his head, sighing deeply.

“I caught him cutting himself” my jaw just dropped. No, no. Not my Alex. Not my perfect boy, who has everything he wants. I got up and started running out of the room. I could hear the teacher yelling at me to get back but I didn’t stop. I had to get to Alex. I have to make this right. This is my entire fault. I caused him to start harming himself.