Wednesday morning, it was like nothing happened yesterday. I hate how we can’t get passed this. Jasey and I are meant to be together, even if it’s taken me 16 years to work it out, we are made for each other.

Stella was acting like we didn’t have a fight. No surprise there, if something doesn’t go her way she will just act like it never happened. She wants me in her life and there is nothing I can do to stop her. Then there is Jasey, who is acting like we didn’t kiss again or admit our feels together. What is wrong with her? Doesn’t she want to be with me? Doesn’t she want her best friend back? Or is this part of her plan to get me away from Stella?

I was walking into school with my hand linked with Stella’s, her grip is tight and I was trying to get out of it but it was no use. Listening to her talk about how cute we are as a couple. After a while of listening to her voice you will zone out. Her voice can get annoying after a while so I just zoned out. I really didn’t want to hear any more about how cute we are as a freaking couple.

So last night I cut again. I wasn’t planning on it but listening to Jack talk about how much Jasey has changed since we stopped talking. Listening to Rian whine about why I shouldn’t be cutting, and to Stella apologise over and over again. I just had enough; I just couldn’t take it anymore so I cut. Now I understand why Jasey does it. It’s a way to let your anger out and it feels amazing. It’s a way to feel better about anything and everything. It is addictive too. But last night I cut a bit too deep without thinking about it and now my leg is on fire. I’m surprised I was able to walk this morning. I’m just focusing on getting through today without passing out from the pain that it was causing me. Left foot in front of the right that’s all I have to do and start in a straight line.

“Alex, are you listening?” asked Stella. I shook my head as I run my hand through my hair. I really didn’t care that I was pissing her off by saying that I wasn’t listening. Truth be told I haven’t been listening to her since winter break. When I realised that I loved Jasey, well not really when I work it out, just after we kissed. My mind was way too busy with the thought of Jasey liking me that I just zone out on what Stella had to say. Stella has been Jasey’s friend since year 10 when they got partnered together. Stella’s rep back then wasn’t that good and the guys and I really didn’t want Jasey and Stella being friends but they became friends at once which, was unlike Jasey. She doesn’t really get along well with girls. We, Jasey and I, don’t know why but she just seems to get along with guys so much better. That just means I have to watch out for her more than usual.

I saw the guys talking to Jasey. I let go of Stella’s hand and run over to them. I was surprised that she let me go. Why did she let me go? Is she planning something too, or does she remember what happened yesterday and is letting me be with Jasey? God, why do girls have to be so confusing and so hard to understand? I looked back to see if she was following me but to my surprise she had disappeared. I didn’t think anything of it. I just shrugged and walked over to Jasey. She smiled at me and pulled me into her arms. Everyone just glared at us. We both laughed. Haven’t they seen us hug a million times before? What is so different about now? We are just best friends hugging each other. Maybe it’s the way Jasey and I are hugging that is a concern to them. Whatever it is, it was freaking me out.

“So are you guys together?” asked Rian. I wanted to nod but I knew that Jasey didn’t want anyone to know about us just yet. She wants us to talk about my drinking and i want to talk to her about the cutting and her feeling for me. I still haven’t got my head around this dating thing just yet. I’m scared that I am going to mess this up, that I’m going to lose her as a friend if we try dating but I trust Jasey enough to try. I looked over at Jasey shaking her head. I shook my head but I saw Jack raise an eyebrow at me. I sighed kissing the top of Jasey’s head causing her to blush. She hid her head in my arms and whispered in my ear,

“I’ve missed you” I nodded, holding onto her tightly. I really didn’t want to let go of her but I pulled out of our embrace and smile at her. She smiled and walked over to Rian who put his arms around her. I sighed. I shouldn’t be jealous Rian has a girlfriend, well not really but he is trying to get one.

“How are we going to get Stella off my back?” I asked as we all started walking to class, as the bell had just ringed.

“Just tell her the truth maybe” said Zack. I laughed and so did Jasey causing everyone to stop and stare at us.

“You don’t know Stella” said Jasey putting her hand in the back pockets of her black skinny jeans.

“She’s right, we don’t know Stella. Only she does. So we have to do as Jasey tell us” said Jack. Jasey smiled at him and mouthed thank you. Jack nodded and blew her a kiss.