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Chapter Fourteen

Nick

"Tessa, do you know what your Uncle Nick gave your Auntie Heather? She gave her a pretty ring. Wait until you see it! It's bigger than your precious little cheeks!"

The baby stared at me with the same angry look her father always gave me even as Marietta blew a huge raspberry on her chubby shoulder. Marietta lifted her up and wiggled her slightly.

"You and Heather are going to make such pretty babies," Marietta said with a happy sigh.

"Ya--uhh-eah," I said. I stared out the window just in time to see Brian and Chris take off. Heather's dad was at work.

It was just me, my future mother-in-law, and...

The kid.

It wasn't that I hated kids. I loved playing with Baylee. Now that James' didn't scream every time I ran up behind him, I was even beginning to enjoy having him around.

No, it was the whole baby thing. I've had people tell me that fear goes away once it's your own child, but babies kinda give met he heebie-jeebies.

"Oh, lunch!"

Suddenly, the pink clad little girl was being thrusted towards me.

"I've got to start lunch. Can you hold Tess?"

"Can't lunch wait? Chris and Brian--"

"Oh, those two will be back if they know what's good for them. I've got to cut up the chicken I boiled for the chicken salad. She doesn't bite, honey. She's a super good baby. Just like her daddy. Now, Heather...Heat her's another story."

Reluctantly, I took the little thing while Marietta quickly retold a story I had heard a million times about Heather as a baby. Tessa was heavier than I thought she would be. I quickly made my way to the couch, lest I drop her. If Chris hated me now, he would murder me if he came back to a cracked-headed baby. I sat her down on my lap, her legs pressing up against my stomach. We had another staring contest even as Marietta ruffled my hair and headed towards the kitchen.

"Sup?" I asked. Her nose started to twitch like a bunny rabbit's. I bounced my leg slightly and she stopped. After a minute she even smiled.

Hunh. Maybe the baby thing wouldn't be so bad after all. And I knew Marietta was right. Heather and I would have a supermodel baby. A little blonde for sure. Now, with Lauren, it would have been a toss up. Surely, her gorgeous dark hair would have won out with at least one of our children--

I shook my head. Woah. Was I seriously thinking about what babies with my fuck buddy would look like?

Yes.

"Fuck," I said aloud. It came out barely a whisper, but Tessa's body grew rigid as if I had hit her. Almost immediately I had a wailing baby on my lap. I drew her to my chest, half-hoping to smother the screams. I rocked forwards and back, but the wails just grew louder. A huge wet spot from the overabundance of drool grew on my shirt.

"H-Help!" I called out.

"She's fine!" Marietta called back. "Just reach in the bag and get out her duckie pacifer!"

Pacifier. That was the nipple looking thing, right? My palms were damp from nerves as I caught hold of the handle of the diaper bag with my sneaker. I slid it towards me and shoved my hand into a pocket.

The two minutes I endured before I found the pacifier were the longest of my life. I almost wept with joy as I found the rubbery plastic thing, pulled back, and shoved it into Tessa's waiting mouth. Immediately her eyes crossed and her little body went limp.

Suck. Suck. Suck.

Tessa was still sucking ten minutes later as Marietta walked out of the kitchen drying her hands. She hovered at the bottom of the stairs.

"Heather, did you drown up there? Lunch is ready!"

I didn't hear an answer. Marietta scooped Tessa off my lap and I stood, grateful that I didn't see any liquid leaking out of the bottom of her like one of those Betsy Wetsy dolls. I turned towards the stairs. I needed to get babies (and Lauren) out of my head. I needed some shower sex.

"I'll go check on her," I said.

Marietta didn't have a chance to reply as I headed up the stairs. Tessa must have lost her pacifier because her screams erupted through the house. For once, I was glad.

If she was screaming, momma Johnson wouldn't hear her daughter screaming my name upstairs.

Score.

- * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *


Heather

I was sitting in the bath tub, bubbles around my neck and tears streaming from my eyes, staring at the iceberg that sank the Titanic. I felt like my throat was tied off, like I couldn’t breathe, and I sobbed loudly, sure no one could hear me over Tessa’s screaming downstairs. I imagined taking the ring off and accidentally letting it swoop down the drain with my dirty bath water.

It would probably clog the septic tank.

My heart was breaking and it was silly because in all reality I’d actually gotten everything I wanted, hadn’t I? I was probably just on the verge of PMSing – for real, not just as an excuse to get Nick off of me. I mean, I’d landed Prince Charming and he looked incredible in tights. I was going to be a princess with a castle and the prince and the 6-horse power engine in my top-down carriage. And here I was, laying in my bath tub, sobbing because I didn’t get the fricking knight.

I let my mind run away with myself for a moment, imagining if I told Nick what I was thinking. “I can’t marry you,” I whispered under my breath, “I can’t. I’m… I’m in love with someone else. Who?” I bit my lip. If there was a checklist of worst answers for who the other man was at a wedding the list would probably read like: a) Groom’s Best Friend, b) Groom’s Best Man, c) Another Married Man. I pictured checking off d) All of the Above.

Suddenly the door opened and Nick came in without even knocking. I jumped about a mile and scooped up bubbles to cover my boobs. “Nick!” I shrieked, “Hello! Knock!”

He grinned, “Babe,” he laughed, “C’mon, it’s not like I ain’t seen it all before,” he said.

Nick lowered himself on the closed toilet seat and stared at me, his features folding into that familiar smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners and sparkling. I stared up at him. It was incredible, I thought, how I could be so preoccupied with anyone except Nick. He was just so gorgeous. And really, he was kind of sweet and irresistible and maybe, just maybe I could learn to…

“Wanna play naughty dolphins?” he splashed the water a little bit by my toes.

And then he said shit like that.

“No,” I said, trying not to use the boulder to stab him in the eye. “I’m –“

Nick’s face blanked, then dawned with realization/memory of the conversation we’d had that morning. “Oh. You’re on the rag.” He said it so blatantly. Brian would never have used any “girly time” euphemism. He would’ve turned scarlet. I know because I still remember the day that he and Chris found out that I’d started for the first time. I’d leaked through my shorts and Brian had spent like fifteen minutes trying to tell me why Chris was laughing at me. He’d eventually mumbled “You’re um bleeding kind of” and turned redder than the stain I’d created.

Nick was still staring at me. “Can’t you at least…” he looked at me pleadingly, “Please?”

“Nick I don’t feel like it,” I pleaded.

His eyes looked sad. “Heath Bar,” he said quietly, hanging his head to look at his hands, “I just… I don’t feel like we…” he sighed. He shook his head, “Screw it. I’ll be in the bedroom. I’ll… take care of it.” He stood up.

For some sick, fucked up in the head reason, I actually felt bad for him.

“Nick,” I whispered. I climbed out of the bathtub, the bubbles clinging to me in all the right places. His eyes lit up. “C’mere…” and I sank to my knees.


- * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *


Brian

“Are you okay? You looked ready to throw up back there…” Chris’ voice echoed around me.

“Yeah, yes. I mean, yes. I’m fine,” I stammered, “Really. I just. Nick’s my best friend you know? And so is Heather. And I just—“ I shook my head and sighed, “I’m so frustrated. You know?”

Chris nodded, “I get it.” He’d pulled over less than a block from the house and we’d sat there talking. I’d told him about the ring Nick had chosen compared to the one I’d picked and he’d agreed that the one I’d pointed out sounded more like Heather than the Egyptian eyesore Nick had selected. Chris studied me for a long moment. “Brian, I have to tell you something. But it’s gonna piss you off.”

“Why not, there’s literally nothing you could say to make this day worse,” I answered, leaning my head back against the back of the seat.

Chris took a deep breath. “Leighanne emailed me this morning.”

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. “And?”

“She wanted to know if you were here, why you’ve been ignoring her calls.”

I had been ignoring Leighanne’s calls. I literally had nothing to say to her, though. I mean what was I gonna answer with if she asked me how Kentucky was? Great, kinda wish I was getting laid by Nick’s fiancé though? I mean, it wasn’t like I really had been doing anything to write home about.

My blood suddenly ran cold.

“Chris,” I said, “What part of this is supposed to piss me off?”

Chris gnawed his lip. “I um. I told her you weren’t answering her because she was a bitch.”

“Oh God,” I moaned, covering my face. “Chris.”

“I can’t help it,” he stammered quickly, “I was pissed about Nick from last night and I typed and sent it faster than my brain was thinking. I’m a stupid, stupid man and you should expel me from being your best friend.”

There was literally no remorse in his voice at all.

I glowered at him. “Do you know how insanely pissed she’s gonna be? You calling her a bitch will make her think that I called her a bitch to you.”

Chris’ eyebrows knit together. “You did call her a bitch, Bri.”

“But dude, she didn’t know that.”

“Look I’m sorry man,” Chris said, “And I’ll help you out with damage control if need be…”

I sighed. “Chris?” I asked quietly.

“Hm?”

“I think I want a divorce.”



When we got back to the house, Marietta met us at the door with the promise of chicken salad sandwiches if we went and washed up. “Try and get Nick and Heather down, too, while you’re at it,” she said, “Those silly love birds have been holed up there since you all left.”

Chris rolled his eyes, “I am not looking at Nick’s stupid face. You can go get them, I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”

We started up the stairs side by side and I turned left to go to Heather’s room, Chris turned right to go to the bathroom. I knocked on Heather’s door. “Nick? Heather?” I called, knocking harder when no response came.

That’s when I heard the scream.