Nick
"So one day, Little Red Riding Hood was on her way to see her grandmother in the forest. Her mother warned her, 'Don't walk through the forest, take the path, or else the Big Bad Wolf will catch you and suck your tits dry!' Little Red started towards her grandmother's house but decided to take the shortcut through the forest anyway. The turtle stopped Little Red and warned her 'Turn back and use the path, because if the Big Bad Wolf finds you, he'll suck your tits dry!' Little Red was almost there, so she kept going through the forest. Sure enough, the Big Bad Wolf jumps out of nowhere and tells her 'Take off your shirt Little Red Riding Hood - I'm gonna suck your tits dry!!' 'Oh no you don't,' yells Little Red, as she pulls up her skirt, 'You're gonna eat me just like the story says!'
My big finale was met by two laughs (AJ and Rochelle - who had arrived just moments before), a groan (Leigh), and a grin (Howie). Heath, who was sitting on my lap, didn't let anything out.
After her breakdown earlier, I had felt crummier than I had ever felt before. But at least I had been honest with her. I loved her...
But I loved Lauren too. And I was beginning to realize I loved them in different ways. There was gonna be no sister wives for me. No way. Uh-Uh.
"Dude that would be a joke Leighanne would appreciate now," AJ quipped. Heather got up from my lap.
"What? Why?" Ro asked.
"You didn't tell her?" I said incredulously. Heath was almost to the door.
"Tell me what?" Ro was now staring pointedly at her monkee man. AJ snickered.
"Brian went home and caught her with a chick. She," he paused for effect. "is a lesbo."
Something slammed against the door and it took me a moment to realize it had been Heath. Her lips parted and she seemed to either be in the throes of self-orgasm or hyperventilati ng. Our eyes met.
"Nick. Hall. NOW."
I looked around, feeling squirmy. D and Jizzle didn't seem to be in a rush to rescue me. I slid my palms over the Jean material covering my thighs and stood up slowly.
She jumped on me the moment the door closed. Not literally, but, well...
"Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded.
"It wasn't my business!" I complained. "He told us not to talk about it anymore."
Heather's teeth slammed together. She started talking, but it was almost as if she was talking to herself.
"If that wasn't...who was?" she clapped her hand over her mouth. It almost sounded like a muffled curse sliding between her fingers. She lowered her hand and looked at me frantically.
"I asked you to fuck me!" she squeaked.
"I remember..." I said slowly. I remembered a lot of things...like how she didn't care that I was banging Lauren.
But her fist slamming into my shoulder said otherwise.
"You pig! How was I so stupid?!"
"What are you---"
"Get away from her."
Heather and I both turned. Brian was standing feet away and even at this distance I could smell him. It was like he had taken a friggin bath in cologne.
"Bri," I said gratefully. "Maybe you can..."
I didn't get a chance to finish. All of a sudden it was Deja vu all over again as he lunged at me.
Heather
After my breakdown on the bus in which Nick had held me tight and actually acted like a gentlemen, I had spent the hour or so before soundcheck writing. My plot was all over the place - holly kept wavering back and forth between the two men in her life, unable to tell ERIC how she felt. Somewhere along the way I had gone back and given him a wife.
But I sure as hell never thought of making her a lesbian.
The news had sent shock waves down my spine. If Leighanne wasn't here...
Who had been sexing it up in the bus?
My gut now told me it hadn't been Brian. He wasn't the type of guy to go out and get a random girl to feel better.
Unlike my fiancé. I was convinced I had been clinically insane when I told him the naked picture Lauren had taken if him hadn't bothered me. I had just wanted someone to take the hurt away...
How STUPID.
Now I was standing directly in between Nick and Brian. Even though Nick had height, he looked nervous. Brian's face was set in hard resolve. My heart pounded.
My...prince?
The moment I thought it I sighed. If he knew what I had done and said to Nick on the bus...
But it was accident. Yes, I had told him to fuck me under false pretenses.
He was mid-lunge, his hands aimed somewhere in the vacinity of Nick's throat when I found my voice.
"Brian..."
He skidded to a halt. Then he shook his head.
"NO. I'm tired of being interrupted," he said angrily. I gasped. He was still staring daggers at Nick so I figured the anger wasn't towards me, but his dominating tone...
Well, it turned me on, my face turned scarlet as I stepped out of the path if destruction.
"Nick's been fucking Lauren behind your back and he doesn't deserve you. He doesn't deserve pond scum."
"Bri---" Nick started to say but Brian walked over and headlocked him.
"You're not going to ruin this!" he yelled.
He was a madman. A madman that smelled great, but still...
"This ends---"
"Rok, Nick, let's go! D and AJ are already out there. We've got to get going on time today," Justin said. He seemed unfazed that Nick was still in a headlock.
As for me, well...I...
"She knows about Lauren and she doesn't care!" Nick gasped, pulling out of the hold.
Brian turned astonished (disappointed?) eyes towards me.
Nick was ruining it all!
"That's not true!" I blurted.
Brian
Nick and I both looked at Heather.
Nick rolled his eyes, “Honey,” he said quietly, “I’m sorry. I mean I know you carebut—“
“No, I hate that you’re sleeping with her!” Heather yelled. It was kind of like she’d caught some of the Incredible Hulk that had taken over me moments before. “Why do you think I was crying?” she demanded.
Nick looked dumbfounded. “I dunno, cos girls cry sometimes when the sex is like that good.”
I cupped my face with my hand. Sometimes I almost felt bad for Nick because he literally just doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. Right now, I kind of hoped she pummeled him for it.
Heather was looking at him in astonishment. “You stupid --“ and she reached for her Converse sneaker, ripped it off her foot and lobbed it at him.
Nick ducked the flyaway sneaker. “You fucked me,” he snapped.
I blinked at the term.
“Yeah, I did because I’m even stupider than you are,” Heather bellowed at him. She grabbed at the ring on her finger, “Take this back you jackass.” She stared tugging, trying to rip it off, but she couldn’t get it and finally she shouted, “My hand is swelled, you’ll have to get your monstrosity of a ring back later!” And she turned on the ball of her feet.
Justin, who I think we’d all pretty much forgotten, was standing there looking verklempt (like Mike Myers?). “Jesus,” he muttered. He glanced between Nick and I. “What the hell is going on?”
“Brian’s trying to steal my fiancé,” Nick snapped at the exact same time as I said, “Nick’s cheating on my best friend.”
“Best friend my ass,” Nick hooted.
I turned to react, but Justin grabbed the back of my shirt. “Hey, hey, ladies,” he snapped, “God ya’ll are pathetic.”
Nick pointed his finger at me, “You stay away from her.”
“Make me.”
“FINE.” Nick reached around Justin and shoved my shoulder hard enough to send me into the wall. “You’re not my best man anymore. Consider yourself fried!”
“FIRED!” I yelled, “The word you mean is fired. NOT FRIED.”
“YOU CAN BE BOTH!” Nick yelled.
“Get a GED!”
“I’M WORKING ON IT!”
“What, they don’t teach you fired/fried on the iPad!?”
“GO TO HELL!”
“THAT’S WHERE I COULD BE FRIED!”
“FUCK YOU!”
“GUYS!”
The last bit was yelled by Donnie Walhberg, who had just come up and draped his arm around Nick’s shoulders. “Guys, what the hell is happening here?” he laughed, “You two are so loud, you’re interrupting our soundcheck.”
“Brian’s wife is a lesbian,” Nick stated, and he turned, shrugged Donnie’s arm off his shoulders and walked away.
Donnie’s eyes were wide. He looked at me. “Get out,” he stammered. He smirked as Justin let go of the collar of my shirt. “Congrats.” He winked.
I sighed.
