Nick
Thanks to Donnie 'DVR'd Blue Bloods that I've never watched' Wahlberg, Brian and I managed to stop ruining the NKOTB soundcheck and get through ours. Donnie was kinda like a pseudo-Kevin. I was almost tempted to glue a pair of those huge ass Bert eyebrows on his face when he was sleeping. Then he'd really be Kev. Sorta.
But, making Donnie into Kevin wasn't the biggest problem I had. No, the biggest problem was the giant blow-up backstage. I was taking Heather's swollen finger as a sign. I had put a ring on her finger and damnit, the ring wasn't supposed to come off.
Heather had run off to parts unknown and Brian and I were watching each other like a hawk, making sure neither of us ran off after her. What Bri didn't know what was that I also intercepted his plan B.
I was nibbling on a coffee straw when I saw a young pimply face dude scurrying by looking like he had just gotten the lead role in Mission Impossible. It piqued my interest. It's piqued it so much that I shot my foot out and accidentally let the guy trip over it.
"Dude, you okay?" I asked, concern lacing my voice as I knelt down. Now that I was up close and personal, I could see that he had been holding something in the crook of his arm.
"Y-yes, sir," the boy stammered. I put on my million watt smile. It didn't work so well with dudes, but I thought...eh, why not?
"You look like a singer," I said, hoping I sounded serious. The guy's eyes widened even more.
"R-really?"
"Yeah," I said, pumping enthusiasm into my voice now. "You remind me of myself when I was your age. I bet you're interning here to learn the ropes. Am I right?"
Pimple-dude was getting a little star struck now. "Yes, sir!" he said. He scrambled to his feet without picking up what he dropped. I tried not to make eye contact with it, lest I give myself away.
"Tell you what," I said. "I really need a Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Like bad. As bad as Elvis needed a peanut butter and banana sandwich bad. If you go get me one I'll give you some voice lessons before the show."
I don't know what he had been bribed with before, but my offer must have trumped it. "Serious?"
"Serious," I said. I held up my hand and did a weird, horrible attempt at the boy scout motto. Instead, I'm pretty sure I just flashed the sign for the Bloods.
"Wow, I'll go now. There's a McDonald's right down the--"
I grabbed my stomach. "Hurry! I'm jonesin' for those large onions!"
The boy must have thought I was seriously going to explode. I had never seen a worn pair of Nike's move so fast.
Then again, I don't think I've ever moved so fast. I bent down and swooped up the envelope lying on the floor. I recognized Brian's hand-writing right away. Written on the front, in lovey-dovey Brian-ese was one word:
Heather
The back was heavily sealed with scotch tape. I snickered. I looked left. I looked right. I stepped back into the corner and worked my pinkie underneath the slight gap on the right hand side.
I took no mercy as I ripped the envelope open and slid out the three (three) friggin' pages of handwriting. I didn't have to read it all to realize he was declaring his love to her.
My fiance.
I shook my head. "No way. Uh-uh," I muttered. Yes, I was a cheater. Yes, she was kinda sharing my love with Lauren...
But she was still mine. I had seen her first. Okay, so that wasn't true, but, well, damnit, I had slept with her first.
Yeah, that's right. I'm pretty sure I had ruined her for all other men.
And I was sure as hell not going to give Brian the chance to prove me wrong. This was competition. This was war.
Even if I had to put on every ounce of Carter charm I had, Heather and I were going to be walking down the aisle.
Heather
I was sitting by the buses, waiting. After the explosion backstage, I was sure Brian would come after me to make sure I was okay. But as I sat there, I heard the soundcheck starting, saw Justin bring the girls in from the front, and knew he wasn’t coming. I hugged my knees to my chest and wondered what that meant.
As I was sitting there, a pimpley-faced kid ran across the parking lot carrying a McDonalds. Security didn’t even blink, so he must’ve been in ops with the venue or someone somewhere in the entourage. I watched as he galloped towards Nick’s bus with the greasy bag. He stood by the bus door, about ten feet away from me, hopping foot to foot like he had to pee, and staring at the bus door, muttering to himself.
Interest piqued, I got to my feet. I needed a distraction anyways.
“Hey,” I greeted him.
He looked up and his eyes got wide. “M-Miss Heather, h-hi.” Then he did the weirdest thing a boy has ever done in front of me. And that says a lot because I’ve seen a lot of weird mating rituals thanks to Nick and AJ. But no, this kid grabbed his arm pit, and then did this funny little Mexican-Sombrero-esque dance around in a circle like his twinkle toes were on fire. He looked up at me and gushed, “Oh shit. Shit. Shit. SHIT.”
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
He didn’t answer. He was now in his own world. “I must’ve left it at McDonalds. Oh shit. SHIT.” He looked at me, he looked at the McDonald’s bag, he looked at the bus, he looked at the venue. “Give this to Nick,” he shoved the McDonalds bag into my hand. And like he was set on fire with a rocket coming out his ass, he bolted off, back past security and, I’m assuming, back to the McDonalds from whence he’d come.
Teenagers get weirder instead of more normal.
I pushed my way onto the tour bus and dropped the greasy bag onto the table. As my hand lowered the bag, I caught sight of the stupid ring. My throat tightened and I reached for it. Maybe it’ll come off now. My fingers grasped the huge-ass rock and started trying to tug it off. I’d leave it for him with his stupid double-quarter-pounder.
The bus door opened and Nick was suddenly standing there. He glanced between me and the grease-soaked stained bag. “Damn,” he muttered, “That kid’s good.”
I stared at him. “I’m done talking to you, I was just trying to give you back your fucking ring.”
I started to push by him, but Nick is way stronger than I am and with one arm he was able to corral me and keep me there in front of him. He pulled me against him. “Heather, I was thinking,” he whispered, leaning close to me, “Please… please reconsider. I –“ he held my elbows with intensity, the same passion that he had on his face when he sang. He stared into my eyes. He wasn’t lying when he said, “I love you, Heather.”
Tears sprang to my eyes, “Nick, I—“
I’d been about to tell him I love Brian. But he interrupted me.
“Let me finish,” he pleaded. “Heather, I’m done with Lauren. Done. I- I realized today that I can’t lose you. I can’t. And it doesn’t matter that Brian hates me. It doesn’t matter who hates me or who does or doesn’t understand about us. We got each other and that’s money, honey.”
I stared at him.
His eyes searched mine for a long moment. It was like he could read me like a book. “Brian’s not coming,” he said quietly. He let out a long, low sigh, and he turned his back to me. “I wasn’t gonna tell you this, Heath Bar, but…” he shook his head. “No. I shouldn’t tell you. I said I wouldn’t and I shouldn’t.”
“Tell me what?” I asked.
Nick sighed. “Heath… Brian’s…” he turned and looked at me. Our eyes connected. His eyes never flinched or looked away from me – so I knew he wasn’t lying. “Here. He wrote you a note.” Nick’s voice sounded defeated. He shoved it into my palm.
It was folded awkwardly, written freehand on a piece of thin photocopy paper, in pencil that had been erased and written over several times so that the area the note was in was even thinner than the rest of the page, with a lead-colored haze around it. I stared down at the words – which were in what looked like a rushed version of Brian’s normally neat and tidy handwriting.
Heather,
I talked to Chris. I know how you feel about me. You’re like a
sister to me. How could you possibly think about me any other way?
You and Nick belong together. Nick isn’t that bad of a guy really,
I know he’s done wrong but he loves you and that’s more than I
can say about myself. Don’t throw away what you have with Nick
for a foolish dream of having the boy next door.
Brian.
I crumpled the note and threw it into the trash and went and locked myself into the latrine.
Brian
I grabbed the pimpley-faced kid’s arm as he rushed by me, looking frantic. “Hey,” I said, catching him. He looked up at me. “Did you find Heather?”
“Y-yes I did, but I –“
“Good, good,” I smiled and slipped the kid a fifty. “Here’s a tip.”
“But I-“
“Thanks again,” I patted his back, “Good luck with getting the voice lessons you’re saving for.” I smiled. He’d told me earlier how he’d been saving like crazy for the vocal program at a local arts school. I’d promptly paid him $100 to deliver the letter to Heather.
Now it was just a matter of waiting for her to come to me and Nick had no idea.
I jumped up and left before the kid could try to hold another conversation. He was one of those people that didn’t stop once you got them started. He reminded me of another pimple-faced teen I’d once known. Nick.
I glanced around and realized he’d disappeared.
Hmmm.
I made my way across the giant penis-stage and came up behind a cluster of the guys talking. Howie and Joey and Donnie. “You guys seen Nick?” I asked.
Howie glanced around, “He was just here a second ago.”
“He said something about a double-quarter pounder,” offered Joey. “You should tell him that stuff is crap food.”
“Yeah, send him to the gym,” Donnie beamed, “If he wants to stay looking as good as me…” he laughed.
Donnie and Nick were practically peeing on each other for the position as hot guy of NKOTBSB, since that was the title they each held in their respective bands. I kind of felt bad for Donnie. He really wasn’t that must competition for Nick.
I jumped down off the stage and made my way out the backdoor. I kept hoping I’d bump into Heather. I made my way to Nick’s tour bus and let myself in. I heard Nick before I saw him.
“C’mon babe, let me in,” he was saying.
I hovered in the door way. “Why don’t you leave her alone?” I asked.
Nick stopped thumping on the door. He turned and looked at me. He glanced at the latrine door, then came towards me, pulling the door that closed off the living area and latrine from the tiny bunks hall behind him. He stood in front of me, beady eyes. “Do you see what you’ve done?” he demanded.
I blinked. “What I’ve done? Nick, you did this to yourself.”
Nick grabbed the envelope off the table before I’d even noticed it was there. He waved it in my face. My handwriting flickered by me. “This,” he said. “Some little fucker came by with it and gave it to her while we were talking – she was giving me my ring back… and she gets this and –“
I couldn’t help it, I felt my heart skip a beat and an electric charge shoot through my body. “What’d she say?” I asked, hopeful.
Nick looked me solidly in the face. “She laughed.”
“Laughed?” I asked.
Nick sighed, “Brian, look, I’m sorry, but…” he swallowed. “Dude, I wasn’t gonna tell you this, ‘cos you’re my best friend. Even when we’re fighting, you know, you’re always my best friend… and…” he dropped his eyes to the floor. “I don’t really want you to get fired in hell.”
“Fried,” I whispered, “You fired me, then told me to get fried in hell.”
Nick looked up. “Brian,” he said quietly, “She doesn’t love you.”
My heart was slamming in my chest. “She doesn’t?” I asked. Then a thought occurred to me. “You’re just saying that, you want me to give up and go away. Of course you would, you’re-“
“Brian,” he said, his voice persistent, “Look, dude, I’m sorry. I wish it was different. I wish I didn’t have to be the one to tell it to you, but-“ he sighed, “Bri, she’s in the bathroom, she’s crying because she’s afraid you’re gonna hate her for not loving her back. She- she thinks she’s gonna lose your friendship.”
I felt my eyes welling up. How could I have been so stupid to think that Heather might love me back? Was I an idiot? She’d said it herself in the hospital waiting room. I was like a brother. Of course she didn’t love me. What was there to love when you compared me to Nick? I mean I know I’m not atrocious to look at, but my looks are more charming in a school boy way than drop dead sexy like Nick. And I didn’t have Nick’s charisma or those funny, quirky things he does. And she’d stayed with him through the cheating, as twisted as it sounds, that was really a sign that she loved him back, wasn’t it? I mean, she was willing to put up with it, to overlook it, to love him anyways.
I started to turn away, feeling shattered. But Nick caught my arm, “Bri,” he said quietly, “Can you- can you talk to her?”
“Talk to her?” I asked. My throat swelled.
“Yeah, can you just tell her that you want to still be friends?” Nick asked. “It’ll… it’ll help her feel better.”
I walked to the latrine door, Nick’s eyes on me like a hawk. He looked nervous for me. I knocked on the door gently, hesitantly. “Go away, Nick,” she called.
“It’s – it’s me,” I stammered.
She was silent.
“Heather,” I whispered.
“I’m sorry,” she gasped out.
I stared at my toes, “No… Heather, I’m sorry,” I answered, “I- I shouldn’t have written that letter.”
“You were just being honest,” she said. The latrine door opened and she peeked out. Her eyes were red and her nose was running and she had mascara tracks leaking across her cheeks. My heart broke just looking at her. I felt like how Cinderella’s mice must’ve felt once she got the prince and moved out of the house and left them there in her attic room with nothing but their little sewing kit.
“Heather,” I whispered, “I- I still want us to be friends.”
She nodded. “You’re my big brother, how could we not be?” her voice was warbled with emotion. “I love you, Bri,” she said quietly.
My stomach turned at the title big brother. That’s all I would ever be to the woman I loved so completely. “I love ya too, kiddo.” She opened the door and pressed her face into my chest, her body shaking, feeling as delicate as a bird’s.
“Bri,” Nick’s voice was quiet, “Its time for the show.”
I broke away from Heather’s grasp, grateful for an excuse to get away, to run away. I climbed out of the bus, Nick at my heels, and we rushed across the parking lot to the venue. When we got backstage, Nick patted my back. “It’s gonna be okay, Bro,” he said quietly. He looked me in the eyes. “I promise I’m gonna be better to her,” he added. He stared at me and smiled sadly, “Now that I know how much she means to you—I- I feel like I’m obligated to- to treat her as best as I can. To do you proud.”
“Thanks,” I muttered.
“And I’m gonna start by going back to Kentucky and getting her that other ring. The one you said I should get. She hates this one and I feel like – well, I – I need to make the gesture of starting over again, you know?”
I nodded.
Nick flung his arm around my neck, “I knew you’d understand. You’re awesome like that.”
I did the show that night but my heart wasn’t in it. My heart wasn’t going to be in anything for a very long time. My heart was broken.
