Nick
"I can explain..."
Heather tightened the sash on her robe. I folded my arms.
"Oh?"
Her lower lip jutted out and she cast a wayward glance at Brian's door. "I..."
It was at that second that I realized we probably shouldn't have this conversation in the hallway. I grabbed her arm and led her back to her room. As soon as the door closed behind us, I refolded my arms.
"It's not mine," I said.
She frowned. "What?"
I had done some thinking on the way up the elevator. I was beginning to doubt my initial claim that Heather couldn't be pregnant. But not for the reason you may think...
"It's not mine. Cause I always keep it wrapped. How long have you been sleeping with Brian?"
Heather sputtered. "S..sleeping with Brian? I haven't slept with Brian!"
Suddenly, tears sprang to her eyes. She hugged herself. "I didn't sleep with him," she repeated in the smallest, saddest voice I had ever heard. She looked tired and...pale. I could also tell she wasn't lying. Her left hand flew to her mouth.
"Oh God, I'm gonna be sick," she whimpered. She brushed past me into the bathroom. A second later, she wretched. I suddenly felt horrible.
And terrified. Was she?
I followed her trail and found her hunched over the toilet bowl. I scooped back her hair.
"Hey," I said gently. "It's gonna be okay."
She didn't answer for the longest time. Finally she lifted her head and grabbed for a piece of toilet paper.
"We're so stupid," she said.
So it was true. I was so gonna sue Trojan. I wrapped my arm around her waist. "You're tired and confused. I'm confused too. Listen, why don't you go take a shower and lay down?"
"Lay down?" she repeated. She sounded confused.
"It'll make you feel better," I said.
She sighed. "No...I'm fe--"
She lurched forward again. I let go of her and watched dumbstruck as her robe gaped open. I stared daggers at her stomach.
It was a little bigger than I remembered. Certainly bigger than La--
I pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn't think about Lauren. Not now. She might have thought that I'd kept the news from her, but I hadn't even known the news.
Thinking back, Heather's grouchiness the day before made sense. She hadn't wanted sex because she was all baby-fied and feeling grody. If I hadn't asked for a little romp, maybe she would have told me.
I really was a douche.
"A shower might be a good idea," she finally sighed. I stood up and helped her to her feet. My palms felt clammy.
Holy shit, I was going to be a dad.
"Do whatever you need to do," I cooed. "I'm here. No more games."
She looked at me in surprise. "Really?"
I smiled, my head bouncing up and down even as my legs wanted to take me running out of there. "Really."
"I didn't sleep with Brian," she repeated. She paused and I had a feeling she was waiting for me to make a similar statement. But I couldn't. While I was lovin' on Lauren, Heather was probably getting preggo sympathy from Brian. He was all into rubbing feet and being dad-ish. Oh, boy.
"This is going to be exciting," I said, pumping emotion into my voice. I stroked her cheek with the pad of my thumb. "I love ya, Heath Bar."
She smiled. "Thank you, Nick."
She turned then, grabbing the knobs for the shower head. I backed out of the room, feeling as if I needed a bucket to catch the sweat off my pits.
How the hell had I knocked her up?
Heather
It's amazing the difference seventy two hours can make. Something happened to Nick in Vegas. The morning of my hangover, he changed back into the Nick I knew and loved. I couldn't help but feel like maybe the close call with Brian had been a sign from God himself.
I did belong with Nicky.
"Guess what I gotcha from Coooolddddstone?" Nick sang as he bounced back up on the bus. I had lost track of what city we were in. His happy face peered in at the bedroom. I was supposed to be writing; instead I was playing Farmville. I looked up to see the large red bowl.
"What?" I asked.
"Apple pie ala mode!" he announced. The mattress bounced as he flew onto it. He held the bowl out to me. I shifted the computer. I was about to take a big bite of the amazing smelling concotion when Nick did the weirdest thing.
He lifted my shirt and kissed my stomach.
"Are you okay?" I asked. He hummed against my navel.
"Are you?"
"Yes..." I said slowly.
"Good," he announced. He rolled over and continued to smile at me. I felt self-conscious as I took the bite.
"Wanna take a nap and cuddle?"
I stuck the spoon back into the scoop of ice cream. "Nick, what's gotten into you?" I asked. I didn't want to rock the boat, but, geesh, he was acting weird. His eyes widened.
"Don't you mean what's gotten into you?" he pressed.
"I don't under--"
"Nick!"
J's voice sailed through the bus. "You gotta come see this! I think the bus ran over a raccoon! It's disgusting. There's so many flies it's insane."
I made a face. "Well, I'm not hungry anymore."
"Are you gonna be sick?" Nick asked, tripping over the words. I laughed.
"Maybe."
His eyes softened. "Then I won't go see. I'll stay with you."
He played with a piece of my hair. His tenderness was touching...but also a little creepy.
"It's fine," I said. "Go see."
"Really?"
"Really."
That's all it took. He scrambled off the bed and headed towards the front of the bus, yelling at J to wait up.
A couple minutes later, I had just reopened my computer when I heard a knock at the window. I turned, startled. When I saw who it was I froze.
Bri and I had pretty much skirted around each other since the morning in Vegas. I had never heard him so angry as he was at me that morning. Just thinking about it brought tears to my eyes.
I had totally fucked up. As he knocked again, I closed the laptop. I scrambled off the bed and cranked open the window.
"Hey," he said. I licked my lips. The cinnamony taste of the ice cream still lingered.
"Hey."
He glanced down at his shoes. I glanced at his hand. I had heard conflicting stories about how he had managed to break it. I just hadn't been able to ask the source himself. "So...I just wanted to come over and apologize," he said.
"Apologize? For what?"
He looked back at me. "I didn't realize what you were feeling that night," he said quietly. "I'm glad we didn't...cause I see Nick's really stepping up, but I just wanted to let you know I'm here for you. And I'm excited for you. I can't think of anyone better for the job."
I smiled. "Aw, Bri..." I reached out and touched his hair. It was soft, unlike Nick's which was always geled. "Let's just forget about it. It was the alcohol talking."
"Yeah, about that," he said. He looked back up. "You shouldn't be--"
"Bri, come look at this raccoon! Well, Nick says its a beaver, but I think he has beaver on the brain!"
I laughed. AJ's voice was full of excitement. Bri turned in the direction of the voice.
"Just a minute!"
He turned back to me, an impish grin lighting up his face. He reached up and touched my cheek.
"You glow," he said.
All the air left my lungs. His fingertips stroked my cheek, raising goosebumps all up and down my neck and arms. His eyes looked at me and for a second I thought they looked hungry...desir ious. But before I could really confirm it, he turned and began to jog off.
"What is going on with these boys?" I whispered. I slowly closed the window.
All of the emotions Brian and Nick were tossing out towards me was messing with my mind...messing with my writing. I had to get to the bottom of it before it was too late.
I had a deadline to meet.
Brian
Little known fact: Pregnant women get me hot.
I mean, seriously, I’d do… Nick…if he was a pregnant woman.
Well, maybe not. I don’t know. Luckily that would never happen.
But seriously, pregnant women get me all worked up and tongue tied and – and they don’t even have to actually be pregnant. Just the thought of them being pregnant was enough to make my body BOING.
I woke up for the fifth night in a row since I’d congratulated Heather on the pregnancy from a really saucy dream. My hands felt along under the blanket. I might as well be twelve again, I thought, embarrassed and hoping Howie wasn’t awake in the bunk below me. I sat up and crawled out of my bunk taking the sheets with me. Those needed to disappear.
I balled them up into a knot and shoved them into a trash bag. I snuck out the bus and into the lot they’d parked us in behind the venue. I tiptoed across the parking lot and threw the bag into the dumpster, feeling quite good about myself. I started back towards the bus when I noticed Nick and Heather’s bus lights were still on. I stood there, gawking at the orange glow that felt across the parking lot.
I wondered if Nick would have the respect to back off for me if the roles had been switched.
I sighed heavily and returned to my bus, returned to my bunk and my loneliness, and curled up.
Time seemed to fly from that point on. The end of the tour came like a flash in the pan. Nick was still fetching everything for Heather, and I was still waiting to catch her if he let her fall. But, I got to hand it to him, he didn’t. Though he did seem to be searching everywhere for something, like he’d misplaced his keys and was looking for them. I asked him a couple times about the weird habit and he said he didn’t know what it was about, but something told me that it maybe had something to do with Lauren really being gone this time.
The hardest part about the time rolling by, for me anyways, was the dreams. They continued long after Baylee and I had moved into my parents’ house in Kentucky while we waited for the move-in date for the apartment I’d selected in Louisville. It was hard being home, in a place where Heather always was, but was no more. I thought about her, about the chance I’d had. I wondered if I’d acted sooner – if I’d reacted when she first let go of the robe – if we’d have gotten there, if she’d have fallen for me, if she’d have left Nick and picked me.
But I didn’t. I’d let her slip through my fingers.
Again.
I spent a great deal of time laying on my back in bed, staring up at the ceiling, day dreaming about what might have happened, wondering about the night with the Whack-a-Mole, wondering if the almost sex had been research, too.
