Day 8...

"Oh you’re going to get it now…" Nick laughed as Kel sprinted through her house from him after having made some smart ass remark to him on their way inside after returning from the Keys.

Kel screamed and dodged a side table then leaped over her two small dogs that were running around barking at her. "Leave me alone you bully!"

"No way…" Nick said with a laugh and dove over the couch and grabbed Kel’s waist.

"Ugh! No!" she laughed and tried to get away from him but was too slow. Just then, the cell phone in her pocket began to ring. Nick immediately went for her phone and she squealed. "Nicky!"

He laughed and pulled the phone from her shorts and held it high above her head, "Take it from me shorty…"

She glared at him then giggled and tickled his armpits making him laugh and drop the phone, "Sucker…" she said with a giggle and answered the phone out of breath. "Hello?"

"Hey…" AJ said in her ear.

She smiled and made goofy faces at Nick as he muttered to her that tickling wasn’t fair, "Hi baby! How’s my sexy boyfriend?" Nick rolled his eyes at her and pulled her down onto the couch with him and she let out a grunt, "Ouch Nick, shit…" She laughed as he refused to let her off of his lap and she instead made herself comfortable, "Sorry honey, hi…"

"It’s okay…" AJ said softly. "You want me to call you later?"

"No…" Kel said with a smile. "You’re fine… Nick and I just got in and were running off our pent up energy from the drive."

"Well I don’t want to interrupt…"

"Honey…" Kel sighed as her giggled and smile faded. "What’s wrong?" Nick stopped poking at her when he heard her sigh and she looked at him with a shrug, "AJ?"

"Nothing… I’m fine…" AJ replied with a sigh of his own.

"Talk to me…"

"It’s just that I’m sick of being here… I don’t want to be away from you anymore, and I’m sick as hell of California…"

"Less than two days honey…" she said softly, the pain in AJ’s voice hurting her as well. "Before you know it, you’ll be back home…"

"Yeah…" AJ agreed.

Nick’s fingers absentmindedly ran up and down Kel’s back as he watched her talk to AJ. She barely noticed as she’d been automatically thrown into AJ Mode at the sound of his voice on the phone though. "What else is going on?"

"I just hate it here…" Kel waited, knowing instinctively that there was more going on. Afraid to ask just what that more was, she stayed quiet. "Groupies all over who don’t even care that they know I’m practically engaged to you… The record company keeps popping up with extra appearances for me to do, and everyone wants to buy me a drink. Like they had no fucking clue… It's everywhere I turn."

Kel nodded and pushed herself off of Nick’s lap, "Did you…"

"Oh god Kel, no… I haven’t had a drop, I swear. I’m just saying that it’s all around me. Even the chick they sent over as my so-called stand-in PR person offered me a drink at lunch today. I rolled my eyes at her and couldn’t believe it. I asked her if she’d even read the press packet they’d given her about me. She smiled this fake smile at me and I flipped it open for her and found all of the shit they’d written in it about my rehab and pointed it out for her. Then of course I felt bad because I’d embarrassed her… but jesus."

Nick kept watching as Kel stood in the middle of the living room and ran her fingers through her hair. Every ounce of joy she’d had just moments before as they ran around the living room taunting one another had drained from her body and to see the metamorphosis right before his eyes almost scared him. She glanced at him long enough to make contact and shake her head in a silent attempt to communicate to him that AJ wasn’t drinking, then looked away again. "Age, have you been to a meeting while you’ve been there these past two weeks?"

"No…"

Holding the phone away from her mouth to keep him from hearing her sigh she sat back down on the couch next to Nick. "You think maybe that might help? You don’t sound real good, honey…" Nick heard the tears in her voice before he saw them well up in her eyes and as he reached his hand out to hold hers he wondered if AJ had heard what he had just then.

"Probably…" AJ said with a sigh after a moment of silence. "I just didn’t want to have to… I was doing okay, hadn’t needed it." Kel blinked out tears and nodded despite the fact that AJ couldn’t see her. "I know where one is tonight… it’s the one I went to while I was here a few months ago. I could go…"

"If you think it’ll help, maybe you should…" she said softly as Nick squeezed her hand.

"I’m gunna go…" AJ said, the strength in his voice building back up. "It’ll be good for me. Then maybe I’ll call up Kevin and Kristen to have dinner or something."

"I bet they’d like to see you…" she nodded and wiped her eyes. "Been a while since we’ve seen them…"

"Yeah…" AJ replied and smiled, "Picking on Kevin can always make me feel better…"

She chuckled slightly with a sniff, "Yeah I know it can."

"Baby? I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to scare you or upset you. Sometimes I just need someone to tell me that I’m not losing my mind you know?"

"I know… it’s okay…"

"You know, Baby, I keep waiting for all of this to get easier. To not be so god damn hard all of the time. Even a little easier… And some days I feel like I can handle it, then other times like today, I can barely function without you telling me that I need to go to a meeting. I knew I needed to go to a meeting… But for some reason I just couldn’t get there without you. I’m not always going to be like this you know? I promise… it’s going to get easier. For both of us…"

New tears flooded Kel’s eyes and she nodded again, "I know it will honey… I know…"

"I love you Sunshine…"

"I love you too, Age," she said trying to hold back an audible sob.

"Did you at least have fun in the Keys with Nick?" AJ chuckled. "You know, before I called and freaked you out just now…"

"Yeah, we um… we had a lot of fun. The house was really pretty, right on the beach. We sat around a lot, and shopped."

"Very cool…"

Nick looked at Kel in confusion but kept holding her hand while she stared down at her lap. Why the hell AJ had asked Kel about the Keys, Nick didn’t understand, but he could feel Kel brightening back up a bit, and that was all he cared about.

"Why don’t I let you go?" AJ said gently. "You and Nick can get back to running around the house, and I’m going to go do my thing… then call Kevin."

"You’re sure you’re okay?"

"Yeah…" AJ nodded. "Just a little temporary freak out." Kel was quiet and AJ felt his heart in his throat, "I promise baby… I’m not going to do anything bad. I’m going to go to the meeting, and see Kev. Then, I’ll be home in a day and a half."

"Okay…" she said softly and chewed on her fingernail.

"I promise to call you if I freak out again?"

"Okay…" she said again and closed her eyes.

"I love you…"

"I know honey, I love you too. Just… be careful, and um…"

When her voice trailed off, he sighed into the phone and rubbed his temples with his fingers, "I’m not going to drink baby… I wouldn’t do that to us again. Trust me okay?"

Kel nodded and wiped her face again, "Okay…"

"Have Nick stay with you tonight…" AJ said gently. "I’ll call you guys when I get to Kevin’s and check in with you."

"Okay…"

"I know I keep saying it, but I love you… I’ll call you later tonight. Go do something fun with Nick, and love on the puppies for me."

"I will…"

"Okay… Later gator…"

"Later…" Kel whispered and hung up the phone before her tears finally began to flow steadily. After a few minutes she wiped her face again and forced a smile, "Welcome to the roller coaster I call my life…"

Nick frowned and shook his head, "Kel…"

"It’s okay…" she said, still forcing herself to smile. "I’m almost used to it you know? He freaks out, I fix it, he goes on, and I cry… But he said… just now he promised that things were… things, they’d get better you know?" She nodded and then dissolved into tears again hunching over covering her face with her hands.

"Come here…" Nick sighed and scooted close to her and wrapped his arms around her body holding her close as she trembled. "Let it out, baby…"

"I’m so scared…" she said as she clung to him. "Every time he does this… I get so scared that he’s not going to make it this time around. And I don’t want to see that… God, I don’t want him to…" her voice gave out before she could finish the sentence and she made no attempt to go any further.

Nick nodded as he smoothed Kel’s hair with his hand, "I know… None of us do… It’ll be okay…" He’d said it on auto-pilot without even realizing he was saying it. They both knew that it was more of a wish than a statement though, and it suited them just fine right then. Nick held Kel closer and kissed the top of her head with a sigh, "He’ll be okay…"

~~~~~

Kel woke up from a rather disturbing dream with a jump and sat up straight with her hand over her heart. Looking around the living room she tried catching her breath while forcing the images of her dream out of her mind. "Nicky?" she called out, the tremble in her voice much more noticeable than she hoped.

"Right here…" Nick said as he walked into the living room holding two mugs of fresh coffee and sat them down on the coffee table. "You okay?"

Kel nodded and looked around the room noticing light coming into the room through the window, "Tell me that’s not the sun…"

"It is…" Nick said carefully and reached for the coffee mugs. "I figured you’d need this when you woke up."

She took the mug and held it in her lap, the heat from the coffee burning her hands through the glass, "What time is it?"

"Almost five…"

"Jesus Nick…" she sighed and put the mug back on the table. "Why did you let me sleep?"

"Because you needed it…"

She shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair noticing that her hands were trembling as much as her voice was. "I take it you haven’t heard anything…"

"No…" he said softly and shook his head. "Nothing."

"It’s been almost twelve hours since he called… It’s two o’clock there…"

"Yeah… You know Kel, maybe he just forgot. Why don’t we get some rest, and then call later?"

She shook her head and picked up the phone beginning to dial, "No, I’m calling now."

Nick took a sip of his coffee out of the need to do something with his hands, and then put the mug down as he watched Kel stand up and pace around the living room with the phone held to her ear. When the phone was answered she stopped in her tracks and held her hand over her heart again as she looked at the floor, "Kevin?"

"Yeah… who is this?" Kevin replied groggily. Kel knew right away she’d woken him.

"It’s Kellie…"

"Oh hey Kel, what’s wrong? Are you guys okay?"

"Um…" she fumbled over her words not actually wanting to ask them, and tears once again filled her eyes. "Kevin…"

"Honey, what’s wrong?" Kevin asked, now fully awake and full of concern.

"Is… Did you…"

"Kellie?" Kevin sighed. "Is it AJ?"

When Kel looked up from the floor she found that Nick was next to her and he took the phone as her eyes flashed with fright and she looked like she was going to fall over. "Kevin, it’s Nick…" he said into the phone as he wrapped his arm around Kel to support her.

"What’s going on Nick? I didn’t think you and Kel were even speaking, and now you’re calling me in the middle of the night… Oh man, did AJ…"

"Kev, have you heard from AJ at all? Like last night, did he call you guys to have dinner?"

"No… I didn’t even know he was in California. He’s here?"

"Yeah…" Nick said and looked at Kel. He directed her to the couch where she sat and he stood next to the couch holding her hand. "He told Kel that he was going to go to an AA meeting last night then call you and Kristen to have dinner."

"We were here all night, Nick," Kevin said with a sigh. "We didn’t hear a thing… Do you think he…"

"I don’t know…" Nick said cutting Kevin off. "He was supposed to call us when he hooked up with you guys, but he never called."

"Have you tried calling him?"

"About thirty times…" Nick said as he tried to stop his brain from thinking so negatively. He looked at Kel who was basically sitting there holding his hand and staring straight ahead, her worst fears seemingly coming true right before her face.

"Jesus… okay, what do you want me to do?"

Nick ran his fingers through his hair and sat down with Kel, "I don’t know… Can you go over to the hotel maybe? He’s at the same one we always stay at when we’re in town. See if they’ve seen him around. It’s not like we can call there and start asking a bunch of questions, but if you’re there in person… flash your name around a bit and see what you can find out."

"Okay…" Kevin said, and Nick could tell that Kevin was already up and moving around the room. He could faintly hear Kristen, Kevin’s wife, awake in the background asking questions. "I’ll go over there and see what I can find out. How is Kel doing? I mean, do we have any reason to think that we should be worried?"

Nick squeezed Kel’s hand and she kept staring straight ahead. "She’s… hanging in there. And yeah, I think we do…"

"Okay…" Kevin said again. "Where are you guys? Where should I call when I get to the hotel and find anything out?"

"We’re at Kel’s… Just call here or either of our cell phones."

"Alright… I’ll call you as soon as I can."

"Thanks Kevin… Be careful."

"I will… you just take care of Kellie…"

"I will…" Nick said softly and then hung up the phone. He looked at Kel and bit his lip before taking a deep breath, "Kevin is going to go over to the hotel and see what he can find out." When she didn’t respond at all Nick touched her back, "He’s going to call us back once he gets there and finds out anything at all."

Slowly Kel nodded and then turned to look at Nick, "I’ve never had to do this with someone else…"

"Do what?" Nick asked in confusion.

"Sit and wait for the call… I’m usually by myself. I’ve never…" she shook her head and bit her bottom lip. "I’ve never had anyone take care of me while I was waiting to take care of him."

"I’m not going anywhere…" Nick told her softly. "He’ll call… maybe he went to the meeting tonight and just decided to go back to the hotel and sleep. He probably turned the hotel phone off and then just forgot to put the ringer on his cell phone on after the meeting…"

"Yeah…" she said without a hint of emotion in her voice and shook her head. "Or maybe he finally fell off of the wagon like I’ve been worried about for the past year and a half, and neither of us are going to be able to save him this time."

"Kel…"

"Nick, let’s just not play the pretending game anymore okay? He was having a bad day… I could hear it in his voice. Hell, for all I know he’d already been drinking when I spoke to him. He has never told me that he was going to call me without actually doing it since he went through rehab. Never… If I tell myself that he’s okay, it’s just going to hurt more when I find out that he’s not okay."

"Okay…" Nick said with a nod. "But I’m not going to give up hoping that he’s okay. I know that it’s very possible that he’s gotten himself into trouble… but I also have to believe that he’s going to be okay. If for anything, I have to believe it for you…"

Kel closed her eyes and dropped her head to her hands with a sigh. "You’re my best friend Nicky…" She paused and Nick noticed her tremble slightly, "Thank you… for being here with me. For not making me do this alone…"