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As I lay in my bed, I try once again to close my eyes and just forget. But it's pointless. All I can do is remember, and feel. Remember the past and feel this horrible pain I've been carrying with me for so much time, and that it got worse today.
In a few hours I went thru disbelief, got a taste of happiness, then to anger, and now I'm just in this painful numb state.
It wasn't supposed to be like this!

'Ana! Ana, where are you?' The sound of Rachel's voice calling me got the tears flowing again. I didn't have the energy to answer. I heard the bedroom door open and her sigh of relief at finding me.

'I've never been so scared! Please don't do that to me again! Do you have any idea what...' I couldn't hear her anymore as my silent crying turned to sobbing. I felt her arms hugging my back and a hand stroking my hair.

I don't know how long we laid there in my bed, but I finally stopped crying and I knew I'd have to tell her what happened.

"What did he do now?"

"I..." I couldn't tell her.

"Don’t you dare tell me this isn’t because of him! You only get like this when the mother fucker decides to show his self and give you scraps of his precious time! One day you'll see that it's his fault for being so fucking blind he doesn't see how much he hurts you!" I stayed silent, not wanting to get into an argument with my best friend.

"I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what happened."
"I can't."
"You can't, or you won't?"
I sighed at that, I just never won an argument with her.
"I just don't want to cry once again. Or not now, because I know I will cry again."
"Sweetie, I think it's best to just get it over with. Get it all out of your chest!

I took a deep breath and began to speak with great effort.
"He was at the wedding."
"How? You were the one to handle the guest list, why didn't you see his name?"
"Because he wasn't in the list! But the father of the bride told me 5 minutes before starting the ceremony to expect one more guest...

~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Everything is ready Marissa, all you need to think about now is walking down the isle in the hands of your father."

She smiles at me and pulls me into a hug. "I don't know how I'd have gone through all the details without you!"

I smile at her as I fix her veil. "I'm the one who has to thank you for your trust in me. More so when you could've chosen someone with more expertise!"

"The moment I met you in that flower shop I knew you were the one! After seven interviews with Wedding Planners, you, a Florist, were the only one who actually understood what I wanted, not what my father's money could make! And I'm so glad you agreed to do all this on your own, even when you lost your job!"

I still remember that day, and I still can't believe that I quit my job 2 weeks after she went into the floral store.
"I didn't lose my job, I just quit to go for my dream, and if it hadn't been for you, I'd still be stuck there. But enough of that, today’s all about you and your new life with Richard."

As I was talking, I was running through a mental checklist for things she might have forgotten, but everything seemed to be in order.
"I want you and your bridesmaids in 5 minutes, I'll go set everyone in their places."
"And please, get daddy off the phone!" She tells me with an exasperated look. One I’m sure I’d have as well if my father was always on the phone doing business.

I walked to the room where I knew Mr. Grant was glued to a laptop and his phone. Thinking and running the mental list, and appointing tasks and positions to everyone I passed by. I was glad Marissa had taken my advise to do the ceremony and reception in one place. Mr. Grant had made a few calls and one of his friends had lent us this beautiful mansion (close to palace in my opinion) and given me full rein on it. Something else I was thanking God for, more contacts, references I could give to my future clients.

When I knocked on the door, Mr. Grant opened the door himself, and as I was about to tell him as politely as I could to get off the phone, he ended the call and turned to me.

“It’s time, I know! Don’t worry, I’m ready!” He took one last look in the mirror and turned to the door as I was telling him that Marissa was waiting for him.

“I didn’t think time would fly so fast for this moment. And now I have to face it, my baby is a woman! How did that happen?”

“I think that every father who truly loves his daughter feels exactly like you do in a moment like this.”

He turns to me and takes my hands. A rare gesture, but one you know holds a lot of meaning. “I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done. Not just the planning, you made sure Marissa was making the right decision before all this started, that is something beyond business. You have a friend in all of us and be sure I’ll be spreading the word, and I want that business plan as soon as you have it before anyone else.”

“Thank you Mr. Grant, for everything as well.”

When he’s finally at the door, he turns one last time. “There’s one more favor, there will be one more guest at the reception, possibly two, make sure he’s attended. He’s a friend of mine and I need to finish a deal with him. But please don’t tell that to Marissa!”

“I’ll see to them personally, what’s his name?”

“His name’s Howie Dorough and possibly his wife.”

With that, he closed the door, and I just stood in the room waiting for my heart to stop beating so fast.

God! Why him?...