On Monday, after we’d returned home, we had my mom, Eve’s parents and siblings over and broke the news about the two little girls in Ohio. Shocked was how I would pretty much sum up how everyone reacted. Then a million questions followed and neither Eve nor I had all the answers. No one was angry with me, though they did apologize for not letting me see Eve earlier in the day when I had wanted to speak to her. But what’s done is done and we had too much to worry about and try to figure out than to let that weigh on our minds. Everyone offered their support and volunteered to help with whatever we may need; which I was so grateful for. And they were unanimous in agreeing I do the DNA test.

Which was carried out two days later. It was a simple swab to the inside of my cheek then the cotton piece was sealed up and sent off to the lab. Eight to ten business days is how long I was told it might be before I got the results and they were probably the most longest and nerve wracking days I’ve ever had. And I’ve had plenty of those.

On Friday, Eve surprised me with packing two suitcases, stashing them into the back of our SUV and ordering me into the passenger seat. Then she slid behind the wheel and before I knew it we were heading north from LA along the coast. If we couldn’t go to the honeymoon then she was going to bring a honeymoon weekend to me; something to help take my mind off the test, the results and all the waiting and agonizing.

We ended up in a sleepy little town about an hour south of Monterey. It had one traffic signal, a Mom’s Diner and a quaint little bungalow right on the beach that my wife had managed to procure for the weekend. One bedroom, one bath with a garden tub and a cozy kitchen with just enough room for the two of us to cook together.

It was probably one of the most sweetest and appreciative things Eve had done for me and I kicked myself for not thinking of it first and whisking her away to a nice resort somewhere to make up for being such a dumbass. But she wouldn’t hear anything of it when I tried to apologize.

That first night we got carry-out from Mom’s Diner and ate it on the small deck that looked out to the water gently lapping at the shore. There wasn’t another house in sight in either direction and as I ate the delicious helping of pot roast and green beans, I looked to my wife and watched her in amazement. She was so beautiful and wonderful and perfect for me and good to me. She was doing her best to support me in this and the whole idea of this bungalow by the sea had blown me away. I was going to spend the rest of my life trying to be as good to her as she was to me.

“How’d you find this place?” I questioned, breaking the silence that had befallen us.

Eve looked up from the pasta she had ordered and met my eyes. “Paige told me about it.”

“Oh, has she been here?”

Her blonde head nodded and she wiped her mouth with a napkin before replying, “A few months after Natalie was born, she and Bradley had hit a really rough spot and she said this place was their saving grace. They left Natalie with my parents and came up here for a weekend; reconnected and spent time together that didn’t involve caring for an infant and when they returned it was like they were newlyweds again.”

I smiled. “That’s really great.”

“Yeah,” she mirrored my smile with one of her own, “and yesterday Paige mentioned it to me. I was telling her how stressed and wound up tight you were and she thought maybe this place could do you, do us, some good.”

“Was I really that bad?”

My wife suppressed a chuckle. “It’s only been two days since you did the test and you’ve already gone through more coffee in those two days than I’d seen you drink in two years. As well as becoming a regular chain smoker. Not to mention, you’re sort of talking in your sleep.”

That was news to me. “What am I saying?”

She shrugged softly and returned to her food. “Mumbled stuff. I can’t make too much of it out, but you just sound so scared or worried and I hate hearing you sound like that. It makes my heart ache and I just wanna do what I can to make it better for you.”

I reached for her hand. “And you think this place is going to help?”

“I hope it does.” She took my hand and held it warmly. “I know you aren’t going to forget completely about the test, or all the worries and stress that await us once we return, but I’m hoping that for a few days, for a few moments, you’re able to let it all go and just be.”

I was ready to take her to the bedroom and show her how much I loved her. “What about you?”

Her blue eyes watched me unblinking. “I’m okay, baby. I feel a lot better about things than I did and I know that the place or greatness of the honeymoon doesn’t matter, it’s the time they get to spend together rather that’s The Seychelles or here in a little one bedroom cabin.” Then she leaned and kissed my lips softly. “I told you that you just have to let me work through my feelings. I’m gonna be just fine.”

I smiled and pulled her into my arms as our dinner was forgotten and we spent the rest of the night connecting and celebrating our new union.

~*~*~*~*~

On Saturday, Eve and I walked the beach and collected oddly and fascinating shells. The weather was a little too cool for swimming, so after the shell collecting, we splashed in the surf and acted like teenagers; chasing each other and falling over repeatedly in the sand to roll, make out or just lie there together in each other’s arms. We probably tracked more sand back to the cabin than we left on the beach and enjoyed a nice, leisurely bath together to wash it all away.

Afterward, and after a quick trip to the homey little market on Main Street, we made up a late lunch (or early dinner, depending on how you looked at it) and ate it outside on the deck again. This time we made it through the entire meal then afterward, relaxed together in one lounge chair, listening to the sound of the water and the birds and everything that a beach has to hold.

I must have been unusually quiet, because Eve shifted in my arms and turned her head to face mine. “What are you thinking?” She questioned in a soft voice.

I touched her cheek. “How much I love you and how grateful I am to have you in my life. And wondering how I got so lucky that you agreed to spend the rest of your life with me.”

A little grin tugged at the corner of her mouth. “Want to know what I was thinking?” When I nodded, she continued, “That I’m so thankful you are so persistent, because had you not been, we may not even be together right now.”

I chuckled. “Well, I’m thankful that you’re so forgiving and accepting.”

“Yeah, I really am, aren’t I?”

That made me laugh and I tickled her side lightly. “Don’t give yourself a big head.”

She laughed and squirmed then settled against me again. “I know that this weekend we’re trying to not think about everything, but do you maybe want to talk about it?” Her head lifted to meet my eyes. “Maybe it’ll help you feel better and when we get home you won’t freak out again.”

I rested my head against the back of the chair, letting a slow breath of air escape between my lips. “What do you want me to say?”

“I dunno,” she shrugged some, “maybe with how you’re feeling.”

I sighed at that. “Like this is some kind of dream. Like I’m walking through fog trying to not lose the road I’m on. It’s so surreal and it’s hard to grasp that this is really my life.”

“It does seem like something from a movie or a book.”

“Or someone else’s life, not mine.”

Eve smoothed her hand across my chest. “Whatever the outcome, my love, it’s our life and we’re going to make the best of it. Rather two little girls come to join our family or not, we’re in this together and you don’t have to carry the burden on your own.”

I finally turned my eyes back to hers and felt my heart swell at the love on her face. “I don’t know how to be a dad.”

“I don’t think any first time father does.”

“I don’t know anything about these girls. What if they hate me? What if they’re horrible? What if I scare them?”

Eve shifted herself a bit more to see me better. “Okay, first, take a breath and second, we don’t even have the DNA results yet, you might not be the father. I don’t think it does you any good to get yourself all worked out about them until you know.”

“I know, but I can’t seem to shut my mind off and not think about it at all.” I reached a hand up and rubbed my eyes. All the questions and concerns, fears and worries were starting to make my head hurt.

“I understand that.” She shifted closer and smoothed her arm around me. “You have to remember that you’re not in this alone. If they are your daughters then we’ll learn together. I don’t know how to be a mom, or step mom, I should say.”

I smoothed my fingers up through her hair. “You’re going to be a wonderful mom; I think you’re a natural. Look how well you take care of me.”

“Well,” she drew up a shoulder, “maybe with these two girls we’ll figure it out together and then when we have our own, it’ll be a little easier.”

I found myself liking the sound of that. “That sounds promising.”

“I think so too.” And then she smiled and I saw a flicker in her eyes.

Eve and I had decided that we wanted to start a family sometime after my tour in the spring. My bandmates and I were going to be traveling to Europe for a few weeks in March, April and May and the idea of touring and starting a family made me feel slightly uneasy. So we decided to wait until this next summer.

The thought of the tour made me groan. “What about our tour this spring?”

My wife eyed me. “Okay, no more ‘what ifs’ until we know for sure what the test results are, got that. You’re going to work yourself into a frenzy and give yourself an ulcer.”

I probably would. Sighing, I closed my eyes briefly to help clear my mind, though it proved to be difficult. “I need something to distract me.”

“Hm, I think I might have just the thing,” Eve purred and then she raised her body above mine and proved quite effective in making me forget it all.

~*~*~*~*~

Sunday we explored the town and traveled the quiet two lane highways just sightseeing and enjoying the solitude. A picnic in a field full of beautiful flowers was romantic and the little odds and ends shops we found in a small town over was a memorable endeavor and allowed us to take some little trinkets back home. Eve’s idea to bring me up here was more than what I needed. I could just feel my stress and anxiety melting away and by the time we finally did return back to Los Angeles late Sunday night, I was feeling the best I’d felt since I had received the news.

Monday was back to the usual routine; however, I found myself relaxed and at peace with whatever may be. I couldn’t control life; Eve had taught me that much. All I could do was hang on for the ride and be glad someone was on that roller coaster with me.

On Tuesday, we invited Paige and Bradley over for dinner, sans Natalie who stayed with her grandparents. Together, we made up a meal fit for a king and then all four of us stuffed ourselves until our bellies were full and we could just sit and stare at the table, unable to move. Afterward, we played a few board games then just relaxed and enjoyed each other’s company.

Thankfully, my sister-in-law and her husband stayed off the topic of the girls, though I know she was just dying to talk about it. I’m pretty sure my wife had laid a few ground rules, which proved effective and when the couple finally departed close to midnight, I took Eve upstairs to thank her personally for a wonderful night.

The next few days carried on as close to normal as they could get. Eve had the whole week off from work since we were supposed to be in The Seychelles, and depending on what the news from the DNA test brought, she might return the following week or might not. I was grateful that she was her own boss and had a wonderful staff willing to step up and help her out when need be.

We went out to lunch, took in a movie and did some shopping on Wednesday. I spoke with my mom that evening and though she had returned back to her home in Florida, she had promised that if need be, she would return as quickly as she could. Eve’s parents continued to offer what support they could and I was so glad at least one of us had immediate family in the area. Especially people as wonderful as the Whites.

Thursday and Friday came and went with no word and the weekend that followed I tried to stay busy, but the apprehension was starting to return. Eve filled my days with museums and the beach and the boardwalk, dinners out and even dancing one night. She was doing so much to make sure I wasn’t the one stressing that I worried she wasn’t doing enough for herself. So Sunday afternoon, I picked up her sister Carli and then dropped them both off at an exclusive spa for an entire afternoon of pampering and relaxation. Then I went off to play some golf with my buddies.

That night I was thanked in more ways than one on how much she enjoyed herself and all the self indulgence. That wasn’t my intentions for doing it, but it sure was nice to reap the benefits. I might have to do that more often.

Monday rolled around and still nothing. And then finally Tuesday came; nearly two weeks after I’d submitted the DNA and there in the mail was a long white envelope with the return address of the medical facility that had performed the work.

“It’s here,” I croaked out to my wife, dropping the rest of the mail on the counter and showing her the envelope. My heart was suddenly skittering around in my chest and I could hear it echoing its hard beat in my ears.

Eve looked up from where she had been doing some paperwork for her store and slowly set down her pen. “It’s here?”

“Yeah,” my throat suddenly felt dry, “it’s here.”

My wife rose from her seat slowly, as if she were expecting the envelope to fly from my trembling hands and launch a full scale attack on her. “Open it,” she voiced in loud whisper.

But I didn’t know if I could. Instead, I turned the envelope over and over in my hands and then looked back to Eve. “I can’t.”

“You can do this.” She approached me and smoothed a hand over my back.

“No,” I shook my head, “no, I can’t.” Then I was shoving it at her. “You do it.”

Eve accepted it and studied the typed lettering of the addresses. “I don’t know if I can either.”

“Well, one of us has to.”

“We could call Paige. She’d be more than happy to rip into this bad boy for us.”

I chuckled dryly, thinking my heart was about to leap into my throat and out my mouth. “I can’t wait that long for her to get here.”

“Okay, I can do this.” My wife took a breath and let it out slowly then reached her hand for the sealed flap. “I’m gonna do it.”

“Wait!”

I must have said it a lot more forceful than I meant, because she jumped about a foot up from the floor. “What? What?”

My insides felt like a closed can of soda that’s been shook up and just waiting for that moment the lid would come off and the contents would go spurting up from the top. My nerves were tensing, that fear was closing off my throat and the anxiety was crawling through me and digging its icy nails into my chest. “I can’t do this.”

She reached and took my hand, squeezing it firmly. “Yes, you can. We can handle whatever this letter tells us.”

Her words were so strong that I felt a part of me calm inside. “Okay,” I choked out. “Open it, before I change my mind.”

And that’s what she did. Sliding her finger along the sealed flap and separated the paper. Then she slipped the paper from the envelope and slowly unfolded it. Her eyes shifted over the paper as she read the results, going slowly as if to make sure she understood what she was seeing.

By the time those ice blue eyes met mine, I felt like I was close to a full blown panic attack. My chest was heaving and sweat beads had broken out over my face and neck. The room was trying to tilt and I found my hand reaching for the counter to steady myself.

“Alex?” She frowned in concern then reached and helped ease me down onto a stool. “Are you okay?”

“Wh…what does it say?” I choked out between the sawdust that felt like it was filling my mouth.

Eve watched me, ignoring my question. “You look a little pale, are you feeling faint?”

“I just…I need to know what the letter says.” I was doing my best to hold off the black dots that wanted to cloud my vision.

“Maybe we ought to get you some fresh air.” She moved to pass me and head toward the patio doors off the side of the kitchen.

I reached out and caught her wrist in my hand. “What…does it say,” I tried to keep my voice even, but my throat was so dry it couldn’t help but crack some.

Eve met my eyes and wet her bottom lip, hesitating half a second before responding, “You’re the father.”

The entire room gave a tilt at her words and a cold sweat swept over my body. I tried to speak, but nothing came out. The black spots I’d been trying so hard to hold off were suddenly swimming before my eyes and Eve’s voice sounded so faint, like my head was stuffed full of cotton, and then that’s when everything went dark.