On Saturday, Brett and I spent the morning at the small bank in town; First Community. I was given access to the safety deposit box and had brought along an attaché case to carry the contents back to the hotel in.

Melody had warned me that I would find lots of letters and other various items; but I was surprised at the vast amount of things. Envelope after envelope was rubber banded together; one thick pile with Ireland’s name on it and one with Ashlyn’s. Their birth certificates and social security cards were included and there were photos, lots and lots of photos; some of just the girls and others with Melody and them, or Melody and one or just Melody herself.

Upon lifting the first picture with Melody in it, I studied it and felt a familiar twinge inside. I did remember her. Her hair had gotten longer and a shade darker, but those big green eyes and that dimple in her cheek when she smiled were still the same. It felt strange to be looking at a photograph of a woman I had known so intimately for such a very brief moment and now we had two daughters. And it saddened me that she’d been taken from the world so early. She had been so young; I don’t think she was older than 30. How did someone that young develop breast cancer then let it beat her? It just didn’t make sense. But a lot of things in this lifetime didn’t.

Tucked amongst all of the letters and photos were a few different sized boxes that looked like they housed jewelry. Upon peeking inside I could see I was right in my assumption. Must be the jewelry Melody had that she wanted to pass off to her daughters. Which in turn made me wonder what was going to happen to all of her belongings? If the girls were going to be getting any of it and what exactly. I was going to have to remember to ask Mr. Jeffries about that.

Reaching for the last of the items inside the box, I saw my name on one of the envelopes. Melody had written me another letter. Wondering if this one was as personal as the last one, which I had offered to let Eve read, but she had said no, that it was something between Melody and me, I glanced over to my attorney and showed him the envelope.

He shrugged some as if he wasn’t sure what it would contain and I sank into the chair at the table and opened it up; setting aside a smaller envelope that had been folded into the pages. Smoothing the papers, Melody’s familiar handwriting was before me and I began to read.

Dearest Alex,

I’m sure you weren’t expecting to hear from me again, but I feel like there’s still so much more to say. I hope you don’t feel like I’m intruding into your life and trying to control how you’re going to raise our children. I only want what’s best for our little girls and I don’t want them to ever forget about me. Right now I’m the most important thing to them, but once I’m gone I know that’s going to change and that’s difficult for me to really accept.

Breast cancer was the last thing I was ever expecting. And because of that, and being so young, it wasn’t detected until it was already in stage four. The cancer had progressed very quickly and seemed to spread even faster upon being discovered. I underwent chemotherapy and more testing and alternative medicines than I think I can ever remember. All I remember is how sick I was and the scared expressions on Ashlyn and Ireland’s faces. One night when they were crying in my arms and it took all my strength to hold them, I realized I couldn’t do that anymore.

I wanted to fight it. I tried so very hard to fight it. Leaving my precious little babies alone was the very last thing I wanted. But I couldn’t continue and scar them for life. And the doctors were not very optimistic with my outcome; it had spread too far through my body for a mastectomy. That’s when I started the letters. I knew our little girls were going to be left motherless and I couldn’t let them grow up without some kind of guidance or words of encouragement.

I’m sure you’ve found them. I rubber banded them together and each girl has their own pile. They’re labeled with their name and the occasion. Different occasions warrant different notes or letters; I’ve written to them about their first day of school, first real love, first real heartbreak all the way up to their wedding day and the day they have children of their own. I know it may seem like a lot to ask you to remember the occasion and not forget about the letters, but seeing as how I won’t be there for them, I feel like it’s okay for me to request that.

Aren’t they beautiful girls? I’m sure by now you’ve met them and I can feel in my bones that you’ll love them. Love them like no other. They want nothing more than to know their father and there’s a part of me that does regret not bringing you together earlier. But I’ve already explained all that.

One of my biggest concerns is moving them to wherever you may live. I know that it’s going to be difficult to uproot them from the life they’ve only ever known and to a new place to begin again. Especially without their mother. I don’t want you to feel like you’re taking them away from me or that we’ll lose the connection we had since I first heard those sweet little heartbeats.

It isn’t like that and I know that. Trying to get Ashlyn and Ireland to understand that is something entirely different. Which is why, included within this letter, I added one for them. I am hoping that you’ll read it to them and that it will help them understand why they must move on. They aren’t forgetting me or forsaking my memory, they’re just starting fresh with a man they’ve wanted to meet since they found out about him.

There are also two trinkets taped to the letter that I think will help them greatly. I’ve written my reasons and explanations to the girls about them and I feel assured that things are going to work out in the end. They’re not going to remember everything about me, or everything I’ve said or done for them, but they won’t forget how I made them feel; loved, needed, safe and cherished. I hope you will continue to instill those feelings into them and that they’re going to grow up and know they’ve always been loved and wanted, from the very get go.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for carrying out my wishes. You’re going to do so great with them, I just know it. You’re a nurturer and you have a heart bigger than you realize. I’m sure they’ve already found a place there and the road ahead is going to be more brilliant, more colorful and much brighter than ever before.

With much thanks, appreciation and love,

Melody

I finished the letter with thoughts swirling through my mind. I had already vowed to raise them and love them just like their mother had done. But this note just strengthened those convictions and I made a vow right then and there to make sure both girls would never forget Melody, the love she held for them or her words of encouragement and advice.

Folding the note back up, I set it aside then took the smaller envelope I’d discovered inside the note and tucked it into my jacket pocket. I would read it to the girls at dinner; it had come at the right time and I was already hoping that it would help them understand the move and not be scared or upset.

Thinking about the girls, who I realized had been constantly on my mind since I’ve found out about their existence, I remembered that Eve was meeting up with Mr. Jeffries and was going to take notes and pictures of the room they had in their home. The moving company would meet us tomorrow and we would spend the day packing their belongings and then shipping them off to California.

I needed to catch Mr. Jeffries and find out what things of their mothers the girls were going to get and what was going to happen with the other belongings. And if the girls had the opportunity to look through her things and pick some items they felt they might want. I was determined to let them have whatever they wanted and we would see to it that it fit in our home.

With that in mind, Brett and I finished up with the safety deposit box then left the bank and headed off to meet with my wife and Mr. Jeffries.

~*~*~*~*~

After all the errands had been finished, Saturday evening found Eve, myself, Ashlyn and Ireland in Columbus. We spend the afternoon at a park that had more jungle gyms, slides, monkey bars, swings and other fun recreational toys than I think I’d ever seen before. Of course Ashlyn and Ireland loved it and nearly wore themselves, and me, out trying to do everything at least once and some things two, three or four times.

I felt like a kid again as I ran around with them; catching them at the bottom of the slides, pushing them higher and higher on the swings, helping them on the monkey bars and chasing them playfully across bridges. Not to be outdone by me, Eve did her fair share of running and climbing and playing and chasing after shrieking and laughing girls.

I think this was one of Eve’s best ideas. I could tell the girls were having the time of their lives and then it made me wonder when the last time was that they got to really play like this. When was the last time they’d laughed till tears rolled down their cheeks and gotten to spend a few hours being kids and doing things that kids did? They were four not twenty-four and the things they’d been through in the past six months or so, were not things that a normal four year old should have to go through. And seeing the way their eyes lit up as Eve and I pushed them on the swings or raced down the slide with them touched something inside and I knew this moment was going to be imprinted in their heads for years to come.

Finally, when every one of us was exhausted, we piled into the rental car I had procured; child seats included, and followed the GPS to an out of the way diner with fun music and brightly colored booths. There was a real jukebox over in the corner and Eve and I gave both the girls a quarter and let them choose a song to play. Then we dined on burgers and French fries and milkshakes until our tummies were full and I could see both girls’ eyes drooping from the excitement and rigor of the day.

It was there, in our little booth out of the way of the other patrons, that Eve and I joined hands and turned our attention onto the girls. It was time to tell them about California and the life that awaited them there and to read their mother’s letter to them.

“Have you girls have fun today?” I questioned after the server had cleared the dishes and the girls were slouched in the booth, digesting their dinners.

“I had the best time ever!” Ireland exclaimed with a big smile on her face. I had made note to remember that Ireland had worn the pink top and Ashlyn the turquoise one.

Eve matched her grin then reached over the table with a napkin in her hand and wiped some ketchup from Ireland’s cheek. “I had the best time ever today too.”

“Can we do it again tomorrow?”

Ashlyn giggled at her sister’s question. “Yeah! I wanna go to the park every day.”

“That would be pretty awesome, huh?”

Ireland’s doe eyes landed on mine. “It would be the bestest ever!”

I chuckled and smoothed the napkin that my coffee cup was sitting on. “As fun as that would be, I don’t think we could do that every day. But,” I lifted a brow and looked between both girls, “we’ll try to go to the park as often as we can.”

Ashlyn giggled again. “I really, really like that.”

I smiled and reached across the table to brush my finger over the tip of her nose. “Good, I do too.”

“Daddy,” Ireland spoke up a bit more demurely than her previous tone.

I turned my attention to her, finding that every time one of them called me daddy, I liked it more and more. “Yes, sweetheart?”

“Are you gonna live in Miss. Mona’s house with us?”

Ashlyn nodded her head at hearing that. “You could sleep on the floor in our room.”

I exchanged a look with Eve; here we go. Turning back to the girls, I sat up a little straighter and shook my head. “No, girls, your dad already has a house.”

Both their faces dropped and their shoulders slumped.

I winced, realizing how that probably sounded. “But,” I quickly interjected. “That’s what Eve and I wanted to talk to you about.”

“That’s right,” Eve reached across the table and took Ireland’s hand, “we have some pretty exciting news for you both.”

The older of the two eyed me cautiously. “What’s that?”

I wet my bottom lip and suddenly felt completely unprepared. Eve and I had discussed at great length how we would tell them about the move, but it was like all that confidence and preparations had gone out the window and I had no idea what I was doing. “Well, Eve and Mr. Jeffries and Miss. Mona and I have been talking and we think that it’s very important that you two get to stay with me and Eve.” I felt like I was flailing around trying to grasp any words that made sense.

“In the motel with you?” Ashlyn looked confused.

Eve smiled softly at her. “Actually, your daddy and I have a nice, big house with a really big backyard and a swimming pool that we thought you might like to come live with us in.”

Ireland’s eyes widened. “A swimming pool?”

“That’s right; a swimming pool.”

“Do you have a swing set?”

I chuckled low and shook my head. “Not yet, baby girl, but once you and Ashlyn get settled in, we’ll go buy a really big swing set with a slide and a sandbox and monkey bars.”

Eve nodded at that. “We sure will.” Then she leaned forward over the table some as if she were going to share a secret with the two girls. “And you know what else we could get?”

Both girls leaned toward her, transfixed by her tone and words.

“A playhouse!”

Ireland’s eyes widened to the size of silver dollars. “A playhouse?!” She sounded like she simply could not believe it. Then she turned to her sister. “We can have tea parties in the playhouse!”

Ashlyn was studying us like she could just see the wool we were trying to pull over her eyes. “Why do we gotta do that?”

I pressed my lips together a moment before responding, “Because that’s where I live and Eve and I want you to be with us; to come and join our family and live with us.”

“What about our stuff?”

Eve reached over to touch Ashlyn’s arm. “You’re going to get to bring your stuff. Tomorrow we can start packing it all up so you have it with you at your new house.”

Then the curly haired brunette frowned at Eve. “I don’t want a new mommy.”

I half wondered why she thought she would have one then realized it probably had something to do with Eve living with us and being female. “Sweetheart,” I slipped from the booth and to their side, lifting and settling Ashlyn in my lap and slipping my arm around Ireland, “Eve is not going to be your new mommy. You have a mommy and no one is ever going to take her place. Eve just wants to love you and to be there for you and to help you learn and grow.” I peeked to each of their thoughtful faces. “You two are such lucky girls to have so many people that love you.”

Ashlyn folded her arms across her chest. “Is Miss. Mona an’ Charlie an’ Lyd’a and Mr. Keith gonna come with us too?”

I held her securely to my chest. “They have to stay in their home. Charlie and Lydia and Mr. Keith and Miss. Mona are a family and you and Ireland and Eve and I are another family. So we’re going to go to our house and live and they’re going to stay in their house and live.”

“What about mommy?” Her voice was so sad and I could see the tears beginning to develop.

“You’re mommy is part of our family too.” I smoothed her hair then pressed a kiss to her temple. “We’re never going to forget about her and you and Ireland can bring whatever things that remind you of her with you to your new house.”

Ashlyn leaned up from my embrace. “She’s not gonna know where we are? She’s gonna come back and will be lost!”

I felt my heart squeeze at her words and the desperation in them. “Oh, sweet baby.” I gently pulled her back to me and hugged her close.

Next to me, Ireland’s face grew even longer and sadder. “Mommy said she can’t come back, but Ashlyn says she’s gonna.”

“She’s gonna cuz she loves us and God hasta let her!”

“But she’s doin’ a ‘portant job.”

“So.”

I bit my bottom lip some and looked over to my wife with worried eyes. How did we handle this? What did we say? I didn’t want an argument between the two of them to erupt, but I wasn’t sure how to comfort and calm them.

“You know what?” Eve rested her forearms on the table and leaned forward some. “Your mommy thought you might be confused and worried, so she left your daddy a special note for him to read you.”

I had nearly forgotten about that. Sending her an appreciative look, I shifted Ashlyn some then withdrew the small envelope from my jacket pocket. “That’s right. I have it right here.”

“What does it say?” Ireland leaned and peered at the envelope.

“Did Mommy send it from Heaven?”

I paused at Ashlyn’s question and shifted my eyes over to my wife. How was I supposed to answer that? What if they wanted to write letters to send to Heaven, which would be okay, but when they didn’t get the responses back I had a feeling it would crush them. Honesty might be the best policy here.

“Actually,” I began. “Your mom wrote it while she was still here with you and saved it for me. I got it from Mr. Jeffries. She saved a lot of special stuff for both you girls and she has told me the right moments to give them to you.”

They looked deflated that it hadn’t come from Heaven.

“She has some special gifts in here for you, though,” I said, hoping that would make up for it.

“She got us gifts?” Now Ashlyn was trying to peer to the letter in my hands.

I smiled and kissed her head. “She sure did. Okay,” slipping her from my lap I tucked her between myself and her sister then turned to face them both, “I’ll read you the note first and then give you the gifts.”

Ireland couldn’t sit still. She wiggled and fidgeted in her seat, her fingers fiddling with each other. “I wonder if it’s ice cream.”

Ashlyn gasped. “You think mommy got us ice cream?”

Eve laughed. “I don’t think ice cream would fit into a letter. It would melt all over the writing and then you wouldn’t be able to read it.”

They both looked thoughtful at that, like they were really considering if it would happen that way. Finally, Ashlyn shrugged and nudged my leg. “Read it.”

I smiled. “Okay.” Then I slipped the envelope open and pulled out the papers, feeling something heavy tucked in the middle. Carefully, I unfolded the pages and let the two little trinkets fall into my hand, closing my fingers around them so neither girl would see them.

Letting my eyes scan the page, I read over the first few lines silently then cleared my throat and began to speak them out loud.

”My sweet and precious Ashlyn and Ireland,

I know the past few weeks have been very difficult and hard, and I’m so proud of you both. So very proud at how you’re handling things and how you’re already growing and becoming even more beautiful young ladies.

I know things must be very confusing right now and if I could take you into my arms and hold you close and make it all better, I would. I miss you as much as you miss me and I’m sorry it had to go this way. But I know that your daddy is already taking very good care of you and it makes me so happy to know that you’re together and get to be together forever.

And that’s why I’m writing this note. I want to let you both know that it’s okay to miss me and it’s okay to be sad, but I don’t want you to be sad forever. I want you to know that things are getting better and you’ll be laughing and smiling and happy again and I don’t want you to feel bad for that. It’s good to smile and be happy and I want you to feel that way.”

I paused and shifted my eyes toward them; they both sat watching me like they’d been hanging on to my every word. Returning to the pages, I continued before they could be pulled from their stupor.

I hope you will make lots of happy memories with your daddy. I want you to. I want you to run around and play and have fun like little girls your age should be doing. Can you do that for me? And know that I am always going to be with you; I’ll always be in your heart and no matter what you’re going through or how old you get, I’ll be there and my love for you will be washing from the Heavens and down over you.

Your daddy lives in a place that’s far away from the home you know. He has his own house and his own friends and he has more family; more people for you to meet and to love you. What special little girls you are to have so much love and so many people there for you.

I know it’s scary to think about moving to a new place and leaving everything behind, but you’re not alone. You have your daddy and all the other wonderful people who love you there for you. And you have me; right there in your heart where whenever you’re scared or alone, just remember when I would hold you and how that would feel. And hopefully that will help soothe you.

And if not, your daddy’s arms are waiting to do the same job.

Think about the wonderful adventure you both are going to get to have and all the great people you’ll meet who will make your life so happy. Be open to loving again and having that special bond between someone. And lastly, know that wherever you go, no matter how far away, you’re not losing me and I am not going to be upset. I will always know where you are and will always be looking down and watching out for you.

That’s why I got you some very special gifts that your daddy will now give you. They’re very special and I know that they are going to really help you. This way, when you’re wearing them you’ll know that I’m always looking out for you. I will never forget you or stop loving you. Take good care of them and I know that your daddy is going to take such good care of you.

I love you always and forever,

Mommy”

I lifted my eyes to their faces and could see tears shimmering in both sets. “Would you like to see the gifts?” I had to clear the lump in my throat away before speaking.

They wordlessly nodded and I held out my hand, opening it to reveal two silver chains with a little angel dangling on it. Each angel had a small pearl stone to represent their birth month pressed into the center of it and from the weight I knew they were more than a cheap metal. These necklaces would last the girls for a long, long time to come.

“Ooh, those are beautiful,” Eve breathed out from her spot across the table. “What a wonderful idea your mom had; to give you some guardian angels so you know she’s always looking out for you.”

I smiled and let them each pick a necklace. “She sure did. Your mommy was so smart.”

Ashlyn peered the necklace over. “She’s a pretty angel.”

“Just like your mommy.” I kissed her head. “Do you want me to put it on you?”

They both nodded and I managed to get the necklaces opened and clasped around their little necks. “There we go. Ooh, how pretty they look,” I exclaimed once they were on both girls.

Ireland giggled softly. “Now mommy is always with us.”

“That’s right.” Eve watched them with a smile on her face and tears glistening in her eyes. “She’ll always be right there close to your heart.”

“And she said it’s okay to move to your house.” Ashlyn climbed back into my lap. “And if we get scared we can still talk to her.”

I smoothed my hand over her cheek then held her close. “That’s right. Wherever you go, she’ll be there too.”

Ireland sidled up to me then wiggled her way into my lap too. I shifted Ashlyn so she had room then hugged them both to my chest. “Your mommy loves you both so very much, but so do I. I love you more than you’ll ever realize.”

Both girls snuggled against me and I was pretty sure they were growing tired. It’d been a long and busy day and ended emotionally, so they were drained on every level.

Kissing the tops of their heads, I gave them a squeeze. “How ‘bout we take you back to Miss. Mona’s and give you baths then put you to bed. And tomorrow we’ll talk more about your new house.”

They gave muffled responses and while Eve paid the bill, I carried the girls out to the car and tucked them into their seats. Then my wife joined me and we headed back off to Berkshire.