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Chapter Nine

1989

"Hey." The air in front of Brian's mouth crystalized with the word in the chill. He slid his hands into his pockets as he stood there.

"Hey," Emma answered. She pulled her sweater tighter.

"Have a good time at the dance?" Brian asked. His voice was thick, though the words he spoke seemed light. He rocked on his feet from the ball of his toes to his heel and back up again.

Emma shrugged, "It was okay," she replied.

"Who did you go with?"

"Nobody asked me," she answered. "I didn't even dance." Brian turned and looked across the baseball field. Emma hesitated. "What's wrong with Tracy?" she asked finally, "She looked upset."

Brian shrugged. "She wanted different things than I did."

Emma stepped closer to him, staring at his silhouetted form against the lights streaming across the diamond he was staring out at. She reached his side and stared up at the contours of his face. "I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"It just wasn't meant to be is all," Brian answered. He looked at Emma. "You look..." his eyes swept her. "Tall," he finished.

"It's been awhile," Emma supplied, "Since Sunday School, I mean."

Brian smiled sadly, then turned away. "You look good, too."

"Thanks," she said.

He took a deep breath, then turned back to her. "No sense wasting such a beautiful dress," he said, holding out his hand.

Emma stared blankly at him a long moment. "What?" she whispered.

Brian grasped her hand and pulled her into him. His aftershave filled her nose and his hand slid down her back. She leaned into his chest, her hands on his shoulders, her senses overloaded, mind spinning, and he rested his cheek against her head and rocked her gently, right there beside the chainlink fence of the baseball field.

"This feels weird without music," she joked, unsure what else to say.

Brian laughed, and moved his face so his mouth was close to her ear and whisper-sang, "I'm not that kind of guy who can take a broken heart... so don't ever leave... I don't want to see us part..."

Emma breathed deeply his after shave and the fresh cut grass as he rocked her gently.

"I'll be loving you forever... Just as long as you want me to be... I'll be loving you forever... All this love's for you and me..."

When he'd finished and slowly stopped rocking, she looked up at him and whispered, "I - I was hoping you'd ask me. To the dance."

Brian swallowed and held her out at arm's length. He smiled, sweeping his eyes over her. "I would've been very lucky to escort you, if I had," he said. Then he looked at his watch. "Let me walk you home."

Emma nodded. She felt somehow... let down by his response, like he'd answered in a way to eclipse the awkwardness of the situation. She wasn't sure what she'd expected. She wasn't the type that Brian Littrell would go out with. She was just... her. But he was a gentleman, and now he was walking her home. She felt strangely numb as they walked across the field.

"I'm sorry about Chris the other day," Brian said as they reached the sidewalk, "In homeroom. That was really rude of him."

Emma felt her cheeks flush. No wonder Brian didn't want her. The way she'd answered, blubbering on about marriage and all. He probably was petrified of her, or thought she was like Amish or something. "It's fine," she answered.

"No, really it isn't," Brian replied, "It made you uncomfortable."

Emma shrugged. "I'm fine, though," she answered. She didn't know what words to say to redeem herself.

They fell silent until they'd reached Emma's house. It wasn't that far from the school, only a couple blocks, but it felt like an eternity. They stopped on the side walk out front and Brian turned to Emma. "I think it's great," he said quietly, "Wanting to wait until you're married." He licked his lips. "Tracy doesn't think so, I mean... I don't know. But I - I agree with you. I think we're probably the only two people in all of Lexington that feel that way, but... I agree with you. About sex. About marriage." He paused. "I think you're beautiful... for wanting to save yourself like that. I think you're beautiful for..." he paused. "Well, you're just beautiful."

Emma felt butterflies in her stomach.

Brian leaned forward and kissed her softly.

"Thank you," she whispered, "For the dance."

Brian smiled. "Goodnight, Emma Harris." And he turned on the ball of his foot and started walking away. Emma stood watching him fade in and out of the light of the street lamps before she went inside the house.