- Text Size +
Chapter Twenty

Emma opened the front door of Jake and Molly's before Brian could knock. His eyes traveled up and down her and he was thankful Nick and Lauren had intercepted him before he left in his Prom Night Ken attire. He smiled, "You look gorgeous," he said. The reverence in his voice almost made Emma believe him.

Jake and Molly appeared behind Emma suddenly. Molly standing on her tip-toes to look over Emma's shoulder, the flour smudge still on her cheek bone. "Hi Brian," she called.

"Hey," Brian answered.

Jake folded his arms over his chest, "Now don't forget curfew," he said in a fake-deep-dad-voice. "I plan to be sitting on my front porch with my rifle and if she's even a minute late, so help me God, Littrell..." They all laughed at the tone, which was uncannily like Mr. Harris' had been...

The first time that Brian had ever taken Emma on a date, back in 1983, when he'd picked her up at the house, Mr. Harris had made a point of sitting on the rocker on the front porch, cleaning the barrell of his gun while Brian waited on the steps for Emma to come out. "Have a whole collection of these," Mr. Harris had muttered as he polished it, "And a whole shit load of ammo. And a shovel. Catch my flow?"

Emma waved good-bye to Jake and Molly and followed Brian down the walkway to the truck. She smiled as they walked, "I don't know where you want to go," she stammered, "But it's my treat wherever." She clung to the strap of her purse.

Brian laughed, "Why thank'ya m'lady." He reached for the door of the truck and pulled it open and gave her a hand up into the truck. "Watch yer digits," he drawled as he closed the door before climbing in behind the driver's side. He looked at Emma. "I don't know where to go, to be honest, though."

Emma shrugged, "You have to pick, I can't pick."

Brian backed out of the driveway, "Well," he said, "Let's head that way and we'll see what sounds good when we get there, how's that?"

"Whatever rocks your boat," Emma said.

As the truck rolled along the streets towards the restaurants, Emma glanced around the inside of the truck, at the air freshener hanging off the rear view mirror and the phone charger stuck in the cigarette lighter. The truck was so old it had a built in tape-deck, which was clicking as it played whatever was in there. "Let's see what Brian Littrell listens to, shall we?" Emma reached for the volume dial and the truck filled with the sounds of Tim McGraw. She smiled, "I always loved Tim."

Brian laughed, "He's a good guy."

"Yeah," Emma smiled. She looked at Brian. "You didn't have to help you know."

Brian's eyes stayed on the road. "I know," he answered.

"So why did you then?" Emma asked.

"I don't know," Brian answered.

"You must know," Emma pressed.

Brian shrugged, "I'm not sure." He paused. "Can I take a rain check on that answer?"

"As long as I get an answer one day," Emma said.

Brian nodded, "You will."

When they arrived to the restaurant side of town, Brian drove slower and they looked at all the different options they had, but none of them were terribly appealing. Brian pulled over after their third drive by the whole lot of them. He rubbed his chin. "Hey, remember Maryfield Farms?" he asked, "The place with the ice cream and the cows? How about sundaes for dinner?"

Emma laughed, "Are they even still open? God, we used to go there when I was a kid - me, my mom and my dad." She smiled.

"Harold gave me a black eye there once," Brian laughed, "Because I stole the cherry off his sundae." Emma laughed heartily. "Plus," Brian said quietly, "I took you there a few times." He paused. "The goats probably miss you."

Emma smiled sadly, "Oh well, we don't want the goats to miss me."

"They're probably new goats anyways," Brian pointed out. "I don't think goats live that long."

Emma laughed, "Now that's depressing."

Brian laughed, too. "Well I don't know that. Maybe goats outlive human beings, like those parrots people get."

"Maybe that's why they have beards," Emma laughed.

"So let's go see if Maryfield Farms is still open then," Brian suggested, pulling back into the flow of traffic.

Once they were back on the road, Emma watched the cassette deck count down the time lapse on the tape playing and hummed a couple times with the music. The silence was thick. After a pause she glanced up at Brian again. "What was it like?" she asked.

"What was what like?"

"Leaving Lexington," she answered, "Escaping."

Brian considered. "In a lot of ways, it was amazing. In a lot of ways, it was heaven. I had the time of my life, I'm not gonna lie. I followed my dreams, I got to see the world, meet Nick, meet Leighanne, have Baylee... But in other ways, this simple life here in Kentucky... in other ways this is what I missed. This is what I wanted more than anything. The simplicity."

"I'm glad."

Brian smiled, "What's your story, where did you go?"

Emma looked out the window as her eyes watered slightly. "I got back on my feet after you left..." she paused, "And then..." She looked at her lap. "I went through a - a um - a really hard time." Emma bit her lips, her fingers moving nervously around each other.

"A hard time?" Brian asked gently.

Emma nodded, "I had to move in with my folks for a bit because I was - was a little - well I was depressed."

Brian frowned, "Because of me?"

"Because I had an abortion," she whispered.

Brian felt his blood run cold. "You were..."

"Pregnant?" Emma asked, interrupting his hesitation. "Yeah."

Brian paused. "W- who's?"

Emma took a deep breath, "There was only you, Brian."

He reached for the blinker and pulled the truck over on the side of the road. It was a long, winding back road, overhung with trees, going out away from the city to the back country where Maryfield Farms was located. He put the truck in park and turned to look at her. "Why didn't you call me?"

Emma's eyes welled up, "I was scared, too."

Brian closed his eyes and a single tear crept down his cheek.

"I'm sorry," Emma whispered, "I didn't really want to tell you, I dunno what made me tell you just now."

Brian shook his head, "I'm glad you did."

Emma had to admit that it had taken some of the hurt and pressure off her chest just to tell Brian. She took a deep breath, "I was only just getting over that when my parents died in 1995," she said. She ran her hands across her knees. "And I moved in with Molly and Jake until I got sick and then I went to a clinic in Virginia," she played with the edge of the belt. "It hasn't been very impressive," she whispered, "My life, I mean."

Brian's heart ached for her. She'd encountered one hardship after another, a chain sequence of events... a sequence that he'd kicked off. He wished he had something wise and comforting to say, but nothing came to mind at all. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't be sorry," she answered. "It all happens for a reason, doesn't it?"

But it seemed the more Brian had a reason to say those words, the less he was able to believe them.