April 10th, 1995

After all the touring that week. I was crazy, we had done 10 shows and that was just there in Portugal for TV. Then we had to hit Spain, France, and Germany, and then the UK. I was taking her the whole way. We hadn't talked much, I think I upset her badly.

"I love you Howie." she told me, but it's like I didn't really hear her. "I love you too, babe, hey I am trying to load my fantasy football team and then check to see if the Miami Dolphins beat Ohio State this week." I told her. Since it had been forever since I had done sports.

"How-" she tried to talk to me. "I am a ROCKSTAR NOW, BABY." I talked almost like a smart ass like Bender on "Futurama" or something or Guns and Roses, Journey, Bon Jovi, Nickleback, Aerosmith, Rolling Stones, NSYNC, you get the idea. "I CAN LOVE, TAG, AND LEAVE GIRLS LIKE YOU, SO LET ME DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT." I told her, not thinking it would bite both her, I, and some other of my fans, and my adopted brothers of the Backstreet Boys right into our asses and mine.  I felt a cold chill down my neck, as my nerves raised.

"Are you glaring at me?" I asked her. "No, howie, me... a girl like me. No, never." she told me with a smile on her face, as she pulled me off of the hotel room seat and bookmarked my webpage and put my laptop to sleep. That had to be the moment she decided to do it.

 And said, "Screw the celebrities. If I love him, I will fight to get him, if not, then love them, tag them, leave them, or better yet change the whole system, once it stops working for "average" or poorer people like her, like in retail or something." I thought speaking to myself almost in my head. We were kissing.

This time the loving felt so rough, so strong, and so real and warm, bright, and "too full" for me. Hey, not her fault, I can see where "Tink" got ideas, seeing us let Angela, then Leighanne, then Kristen, then Rochelle, bully her way back in 1998, and hack, then Sandra, just because of our egos were bad.

Besides rigging court cases, lying to the media, defamation, making her eat Kevin's poop, the rape, the sex tapes, the lies to the magazines and the record companies and all the companies associated with us, and the discrimination in the courts and using her as an excuse for our drug use, abuse and alcohol in clubs, I can see why her and the US goverment even agreed if AJ and I are married. I put her through Hell for a demon of a slut in our "Official First Fan".

She NEVER deserved it, nor did she want to be in that lower class, making almost no money to live world, then ruin her life, then put her down for just trying her best to get her out of the same situations we were all in before our fame, or at least AJ, Nick, and I.

No one can take being bullied and then replaced by someone who looks like they came from a magazine. So I can see why to hell with God and the law, if we couldn't see what was inside of her, and kept making excuses to be hypocrites AJ and Rochelle couldn't be married. Nick was so stupid for hooking up with Lauren later on, it's not even funny.

I can see where that came from, then finding out about Angela with us. But now back to the story. We got up and got back into our clothes. "You did good Howie." She told me.

"Hi Angie" Alex said as we got out. "You want to go out?" Alex flirted with Angela. She blushed. "Alex" she said. "I am with Howie, you know this?" she asked him. "But I love you too." he said blushing to her. As he carried his suitcase down, and as she carried her 2 suitcases and so did I.

"Angel girl" Kevin came out flirting with her. "I am between realationships, I was thinking..." Kevin began to say. She put her finger on his lips. "No, no, Howie is mine." she told him. Then Brian came out of his room with his stuff too. " Angela, your looking hot today, I can cool you down." He flirted the one liner. "No, B-rockstar that won't happen today." She told him.

Then Nick came out. "You know me Howie, I got bad taste in woman, I would make a baker, tell the Ohio goverment to F you over illegal contract that celebrities could do, even if I tourtured her for 14 years, lied to Joan Rivers and the public and Ok! Magazine, and Wal-mart." He said with an evil laugh. "Hey, Angela, wanna hook up we can do it and then I can ruin the life of the one girl you hate and Tink, because I am such a stupid full of myself jerk, even the poor people won't listen to celebrities if they get 2nd class or 4th class rights in courts due to Bribary and over allegience to celebrities in the goverment or if they love concerts so much, that even the defamation won't stop them." I talked to Howie.

"Stop guys!" Howie yelled. "NO FLIRTING WITH HER." He yelled. "But I love her too." They all yelled back at once in front of our people. All our employees left us. I sighed "oh shit". I thought and said to Angela.