MEG
I took the rest of that week off. It helped a little but not much. I thought we were making some progress but something still felt out of place. It felt like we were an old married couple that didn't know how to get the fire back. We were just going through the motions and doing what we thought was right to get us back to the place in our lives where we couldn't live without each other. Where it killed us to be away from one another for more than five minutes. It felt so long ago and it was only a little over three months that I started putting that distance between us. Yes, I take full responsibility for it and maybe that's why I was still confused. I mean, I knew I was in love with him but there was still a part of me longing for a woman's touch and I had no clue why. I didn't understand it. Wasn't sure I wanted to understand. I figured the best way to get my head straight was to get back to work. Sitting around all day waiting for him to come home wasn't doing me any good and you can only do so much cleaning. Even Lumpy was getting tired of being my couch buddy. I watched Jerry Springer a couple of times and came to the realization that my life had become an episode of his show. One they wouldn't soon forget. The one where they egged the chicks on to kiss. Or fight. Only it wouldn't be a fight between chicks. It would be a battle between a man and a woman for another woman's affection.
I was sitting at my desk the following Wednesday staring at the gorgeous bouquet of roses Donnie had sent me. A little over two dozen assorted red and pink roses with baby's breath throughout it. The red vase it came it was just as beautiful. The card. Incredibly romantic. I still didn't think I deserved it but he was making the effort to show that we were still that couple that everyone in their circle envied.
“A rose for every year I've known you and every year it took to get back to your heart. Love, Donnie. Oh how sweet.”
I heard the sarcastic voice but didn't want to look at her. I thought she was gone. I thought I'd made it clear I wanted nothing to do with her anymore. I pulled my gaze away from the flowers and glared at her.”What are you doing here?”
“I thought we could go to lunch baby.”
“Would you keep it down?” I stood so I was face to face with her.
“What? They don't know?”
“Let's go outside and talk about this.”
“Talk about what? I just came to take my girl to lunch. Grab your purse and we'll go.”
“I'm not going anywhere with you.”
“Why are you so mad at me?”
Unbelievable! Roxy really did live in her own little world. Either she was playing stupid or she really had no idea what she'd done.”I'm not discussing this with you in here.”
“Why not? Don't want anyone to know what a bitch you are.”
I grabbed her arm and pulled her along until she followed me of her own accord. Once we were outside the doors, I let loose.”Did I not make it clear that I don't ever want to fucking see you again?!”
“Yes you did but I really didn't think you were serious angel.”
“Don't! I love Donnie! Not you! Get that through your thick skull!”
“You don't mean that.”
“The hell I don't!”
“Fine. I guess I can tell that reporter how you used me for your own sick pleasure and how you and Donnie begged me to join you in your bed,”she mused.
“Does it really make you feel bigger to manipulate people the way you do?”
“Actually, yes.”
I shook my head.” I feel sorry for you because you'll never know what it's like to have someone love you so much they'd go to the ends of the Earth for you.”
“Oh but I do princess. Many men have gone to the ends of the Earth for me.”
“But they never knew real love.”
“That's why I want you lover. You get me,”she purred and traced a finger lightly over my folded arm.
I shivered. I guess I was still confused about what I felt.”Please don't do this to me. He means the world to me Roxy.”
“And you mean the world to me. You can have us both y'know.”
“But I don't want you both.”
“Then what do you want sweetums?”
Good question. Now I wasn't so sure as she wiggled up against me.”I want you to leave me alone,”I blurted out; tears threatening the corners of my eyes.
“Goddess please don't cry. I just want you to be happy.”
There was part of me that wanted to believe that but I still couldn't forget what she'd done to me.
“Get the hell out of here and don't ever come near me again.” I burst into tears. I couldn't keep doing this to him. Or myself. And I didn't know exactly what to do to make it better.
“Take your time baby. I'll be around.”
“Leave me the fuck alone!” I bellowed.”What part of that don't you get?!”
“If that's what you really want,”she replied calmly. Just like before. Like she'd done nothing wrong.
And really, she hadn't. I was the one that cheated. She knew it. He knew it but I was the one living with the guilt of breaking the heart of a man that waited a lifetime to share his life with me. I couldn't keep doing this to him. I don't know how long it had been but I heard a voice. Oh great! I was having a nervous breakdown at work. Luckily it was only Sharon. She was just coming back from lunch.
“What's going on Meg?”
Pushing away the tears, I looked at her.”I'm so confused Share.”
“What do you mean?”
“Roxy showed up here while you were gone.”
“Oh.”
“Share, I don't know what to do. I can't keep doing this to him. He loves me so much and I've put him through hell.”
“He knows what you're going through Meg. He's really trying.”
“That's just it though Share. I should be kissing his ass.”
“What you should be doing is working on this together. You can't let her win.”
“But she has Sharon. I love him but I can't. I just can't.”
“What are you thinking of doing Meg?”
“I think I need some space.”
“You really think that's a good idea?”
“I don't know what else to do. If he loves me like he says he does and that he would wait forever for me then he'll still be here when I get back right?”
“I can't stop you from doing it but I'm going to ask you this one thing. Will you come back?”
“Yes.”
“Then you do what you gotta do. I'll take care of him for you.”
And like that, I'd made my decision.
DONNIE
I had a night shoot that evening and by the time I arrived home I knew she'd be sleeping. I sat my keys quietly on the table by the door and made my way to our room. I wasn't going to wake her but I had a feeling after the flowers I'd sent her, she'd be more than happy to see me. I knew things were still strained but I was feeling good about what we were working toward. I knew it was going to take awhile to get back to that teenage romantic state that our friends were jealous of. They always told us we had the perfect relationship. I always thought we did but they were only outsiders. From the inside, we were far from it. Maybe that's why things were the way they were. Maybe we were trying so hard to convince the world that we had what everybody dreamed of when really we were just like everybody else and had real issues to deal with. Boy did we have issues but we were starting to work through them. At least I thought we were. I took my shoes off and gently pushed the door to our room open. When I saw that the bedside lamp wasn't softly illuminating my side of the bed, I knew something was up. I called out for her. No answer. I looked in the bathroom. Nothing.
Not really knowing why I thought to do it but I looked in the closet to see a good portion of her clothes gone. I got a sinking feeling in my gut. I didn't want to think that she would actually leave me but I knew that wasn't the case as I returned to the living room. Everything that was her in this place was still there. What the hell was going on?! I frantically searched for any sign that said she really hadn't left. I had to know where she was. I pulled my cell out and dialed her number. It went straight to her voicemail. I left her a message to call me as soon as she got it but I need some sort of answer now. I knew it was late but I dialed Sharon's number.
“Hello?” she sleepily replied.
“Share. It's Donnie. I know it's late but you wouldn't happen to know where Meg is would you?”
I could hear the hesitation on her end. She knew something.
“Sharon. Please. Tell me.”
Her voice cleared and she said,”Roxy happened.”
I felt like the wind just got knocked out of me. What the hell? I thought we were working past her.
“It's not what you think.”
“Then tell me.”
“She said she needed some space.”
And that's when I noticed the key on the counter. She was really gone. Where was she?
“Donnie? Donnie?” Sharon's voice drew me back.
“She's gone. She's really gone.” I couldn't think straight. Didn't know what to think. Why?
“I know.”
“Do you know where she went?”
“She wouldn't even tell me.”
“She's my life Share. What am I gonna do?”
“I don't know.”
I wanted somebody to tell me it was going to be okay but even she couldn't assure me that my life as I knew it would ever be the same.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry for no update yesterday but here we go. I hope this more than makes up for it. Enjoy!
