I'm sure the girl knew she was being used but it didn't seem to phase her at all. That alone should have bothered me but Meg had taken the one thing we shared and gave it away. To a woman. I guess I felt the need to know a woman found me attractive. Okay, I know they do, but I needed that one on one affirmation. Somebody touching me those places that only Meg had privilege to the last three years. Dottie offered me a drink once we were inside her apartment. It was nothing fancy but it did have a nice view. The full length windows giving a great view of the city lights. Millions and millions of them. I was actually reconsidering my decision before the alcohol kicked in and knocked all rationale out the window. She had gone to freshen up and I should have walked out then but not wanting to go home, I stayed. I still felt that need to prove my masculinity. I felt her arms slide around my middle. She was making no bones about what she wanted. Draining the beer, I dropped the bottle to the floor. I turned around and pressed her against the nearest wall. That sinful smile played on her lips as I forced her hands overhead; rendering her helpless. I slid my hand down one arm to the curve of her breast. Round and full. The essence of femininity if I'd ever seen it. The rise and fall of her chest. Yeah, I was getting there. I held her prisoner as my lips crushed hers. A slight whimper passing through hers as I pulled her body against mine. I released her and let her hands move where they would. My mouth moved from hers and my tongue trailed down her neck. She was dressed in next to nothing. The lace up ribbon at her cleavage should have bothered me but it didn't. I needed to lose myself in the most immediate body and she was there. I felt her pushing at my open shirt as I returned to her very hungry mouth. The feverish intensity carrying us away. I pulled the shirt away and I felt her tugging at the t-shirt that I had been wearing beneath it. Separating from her, I pulled it over my head and consumed her mouth yet again.
Pulling my hand to her center, she whispered in my ear,” Taste me. I know you want to.” Kissing me yet again.
There was no denying that. My mouth left hers, nipping through the sheer material covering her body as I worked my way down toward it. But as I pushed the material aside to get at her, the image of Roxy centered between Meg's thighs doing the exact same thing flashed in front of me. If I did this, I would be no better than her. I stood up and looked at her apologetically.”I'm sorry. I can't do this.”
“You sure?” She moved toward me and rubbed her hand over my jeans. Sure it was a physical reaction but it had nothing to do with her.
Maybe not. I wasn't thinking straight. She undid my jeans and slid her hand inside. NO! I was aware enough of what was going on and if I were any other guy I would have taken full advantage of it. I pulled away from her as good as it felt.”I'm sure.”
I knew it was wrong to lead somebody on that way but as I pulled my clothes back on, she made it all too clear that she wasn't pleased with my decision.”You'll be sorry.”
I was trying to bite my tongue but I looked at her and replied calmly,”Honey, anything you say anywhere can't hurt me anymore than I've already hurt myself. Go ahead and do what you've got to if it makes you feel better.”
Stunned was her first reaction to my reply but as soon as she realized I was giving her free reign to make me a total prick to all her facebook and twitter friends, she grabbed the empty beer bottle from the floor and sent it flying my direction. Luckily, I was on my way out the door and heard it crash just as I had closed it. This one was going to bite me in the ass but I'd deal with it. I'd been through worse. Like my life right now. I wasn't ready to go home. I was still trying to fathom what Meg had done. What brought her to it. Had she always liked women? Most women are curious I know but unless they're porn stars, the most they do is kiss and are done with it. I really just wanted to understand how Roxy could take care of her the way I did. Was their relationship really all that different from mine and Meg's? Maybe it was. Only because she knew what Meg needed as a woman. I thought I knew what Meg needed. It just didn't make sense.
Was I worried that she'd run off to Roxy again? Of course I was. I didn't want her running off to that bitch. I'd honestly never thought of her that way before but now that she'd taken and dragged Meg away from me, I couldn't think of her as anything else. I wasn't sure that really made any headway in the way of stealing Meg's heart though. I think Meg was as on the fence on this as I was. Wasn't sure how she felt but I wouldn't know until I arrived home that morning. I slowly turned the key in the lock and quietly pushed the door open. I set my wallet and keys on the end table by the couch where Meg laid. The TV was on. Some infomercial was playing. It was obviously just background noise. Lumpy laid faithfully on the floor near her; her hand draped off the edge. She had a kleenex clutched in the other. I kneeled down to her level just as her eyes fluttered open.
MEG
As my eyes focused, I saw him there. The room was light. He'd been out all night. I was assuming it had been with that, that...fuck! I was no better. Why should I be calling her names when I'd cheated in front of him? I was still out of sorts about the events of the previous evening. I was also very hurt that my boyfriend felt he had to get back at me by going home with that girl. Now I know how he felt.
“Hey,”he said softly as he pushed away the tousled mess of my long blonde curls.
“I'm so sorry.” The tears started flowing again. I just hated myself for what I'd done to him. Was he going to give me the boot? Did he hate me as much as I thought he did?
“Hey, hey. Shhhh.” His thumb brushing beneath my eye.”Me too.”
“For what?”
“For staying out all night.”
“Did you?”It wasn't unreasonable for me to ask was it. I had a right to know.
“No. Did you?”
I couldn't blame him for asking. I could have but I didn't want to even be near her right now. My head was spinning and she was the reason for it.” I took a cab.”
“I'm sorry for making you worry but I needed to get my head straight before I came home and we talked about this. We do need to talk about this Meg.”
“I know. I'm just so happy you're home.”And at that very moment, Lumpy chose to make his presence known. He decided he needed some attention and started pawing at Donnie's leg. That could only mean one thing. He needed to go out.
“Listen, I'll take Lumpy out then we'll talk.”
“I'll start some coffee.”
When he returned, I had the coffee brewed and poured into our mugs. We had them made when I moved in last year. His said MEG'S and mine said DONNIE'S. Then I felt like nothing could kill what we had. I didn't think for one minute I'd be the one setting our lovelife into a downward spiral.
“So.” His eyes met mine after taking a sip of the hot liquid.
I watched as he ran his thumb around the edge of the ceramic container. I knew he wanted answers. I wasn't sure what I could tell him being as I couldn't understand why Roxy did what she did. Right in front of him. Maybe I woudn't have felt so bad if it had happened before he'd returned home. I looked down into my doctored up caffeine fix then back up to him.
“So this has been going on for awhile I take it?”
“I told you it's only been three months. Maybe a little longer. I don't remember.”
“Who started it?”
“I did. I just kissed her.”
“You make it sound like it sound like it's something you do everyday.”
“Donnie. Please.” I wasn't the victim here but I could understand the pain. He took a stranger home. I brought a familiar face into ours.
“Well dammit Meg! I understand the curiosity for you but I don't get why you had to continue.”
“I can't explain it.” I attempted to reach out to him and he pulled his hand away. I felt a million miles away from him and he was just a few feet across a kitchen table from me.”I think I liked what I felt and didn't want to give it up.”
“Am I not enough for you?! “
“Of course you are.”
“Then what Meg?! What is it ?!”
“She's your equivalent. A danger and mystery. You both have it.”
His brow furrowed.”That's it? That's all?!”
“What do you want from me Donnie?! I'm trying here. I haven't stopped loving you once. All she represents is a chemical reaction right now.”
“She's your best friend. There has to be something more than just the physical involved.”
He had a point but he had to understand that she didn't mean the same thing to me as he did.”We are but I'm not interested in her as anything more. I don't want to build a life with her if that's the answer you're looking for.”
“But you want something with her.”
“I don't want anything with her if it means losing you.” That I wasn't confused about. I knew that if she continued to remain a part of my life, I would lose him forever.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I just wanted to say thanks to those that are supporting this effort and that it's gonna be a journey for us both. Again, thank you.
