Fearful Renegade

Two

“That is just not right. So wrong.” Siannah laughed shaking her head.

“Hey, they were the ones sitting in my bathroom eating fucking Pizza.” He replied a little defensive. 

He watched as she continued to giggle as she brought up the glass of wine and took a sip.  It was now well into the night and the storm still hadn’t let up.  He was kind of glad the storm was still going.  It was nice to be able to sit down and talk to someone again.  His thoughts were broken when she turned and looked out the window.

“Damn, it still hasn’t let up.” She sighed as she turned back around.  “Maybe I should just suck it up and start shoveling.”

As he spoke he tried to stop the words from falling out of his mouth.  “Or you could stay here.” She looked at him with a little bit of shock.  “I mean even if you did shovel you still have to drive in it.” He told her.  “I have extra blankets and pillows up stairs; you can crash on the couch.”

“Oh, I don’t want to intrude.” She said with a light shake of her head.

“Sia, you’re not.  It’s crazy out there; I wouldn’t want you trying to get home in that and getting stuck.” He told her.  “I can’t promise Dew won’t try to get frisky while you’re sleeping.”

Siannah lightly laughed and he waited for her answer. “Okay” She replied.

“Sweet.” He said as he stood up.  “More wine then?”

“Sure” She said as she handed him her glass.

AJ walked over to the kitchen, he picked up the bottle and began pouring fresh wine into the glasses.  When he was done he corked the bottle back up and headed back over to the couch.

“You know” She said as he handed her the glass she had.  “I may be the farthest thing from a Backstreet Fan but even I know you shouldn’t be drinking with me.”

“Yeah” AJ sighed.  “I know I shouldn’t be but it’s not like it was back then, I live here now, a nice small quiet town, no parties, no pressure.  Besides you didn’t say anything when I handed you the first glass.” He said a little defensive.

“I’m not your babysitter.” She replied with a light smile and then took another sip.  “This place is really nice.” She said as she looked around.  “They don’t look like this on the outside.”

“I know that’s what I love about it.  It looks like a small cottage from the front but when you walk in you see living room, the kitchen and island, the spiral staircase up to the loft, the back door, you see everything when you first walk in.”  He told her.

“So what made you come all the way up here?” She asked as he looked at her over his glass.

He thought about what to say.  Pulling the glass away he answered.  “When the group ended, I just decided I wanted some time alone, it was a crazy ride and now I just want to sit back and enjoy the quiet.”

Sure it was a lie but not all of it was a lie.  In a strange ironic twist forcing himself to go into seclusion actually made him learn to enjoy it.  No one calling and bugging to see how he was doing and if he was okay, no Dad popping in and out, and no fans asking for a picture or to sign something.

“Have you thought about what to do next?” She asked.

Maybe this was a bad idea; he was so caught up in talking that he forgot about the questions, questions he just didn’t want to answer. He started to fight with what he wanted to say, making sure it didn’t lead to more questions.

“Not really” Was all he came up with.

“Cool, well at least you got the money to figure it out.” She replied jokingly.

He light smiled.  “Yeah”

Dew whined and AJ looked over at him.  He wanted out.  With a sigh he stood up and headed to the back door.  His place wasn’t fenced in but Dew was well trained and knew to stay by the house.  Sometimes he would go a little far exploring but one call and he was back.

“Do you have any animals at your house tonight?” He asked.  He had kind of forgotten that she would take some of the animals into her home, if they needed an extra night.

“Nope, not during the holidays.” She replied shaking her head.

“But you took Dew?” He said a little confused.

“Well, Dews special.” She replied with a light smile. 

A loud thump at the door made both of them jump and AJ spun around.  He saw his large beautiful Great Dane lying against the door starting to stand up.  Puzzled he looked out further and saw the ice.  Realizing the dog was running to come in, slipped on the ice, and hit the door he turned to Siannah.

“Definitely special” He replied and she chuckled.  Pulling open the door he let the dog in and Dew stopped inside and shook off the snow.  When AJ closed the door he patted the snow his dog had left him off his legs. 

“So is it always like this?” He asked as he walked back over to her.  “I didn’t really pay much attention to the weather last year, was inside unpacking mostly.”

“In the winter we get storms like this because we’re on the Island. It’s all caused by the Ocean, cold winds coming down from Alaska, Russia, the Arctic, all the warm air coming up from California, and voila.”  AJ smiled.  “But it’s mostly rain and ice storms we get here.”

“How long have you been here?” He asked.

“About five years, finished school, didn’t want to work in the city so I looked around and found this place.”  She said.  “I had been here couple of times when I was little for vacation with my Family.”

“That’s pretty shitty about missing out on the holidays because of this.” He told her.

“Well usually we have it at my Parents place in Vancouver but my Brother wanted it at his place up by Whistler for some reason this year, my parents and brothers are there already but I had to stay because of the clinic. Oh well what can ya do?” She replied with a light smile and a shrug.

“How many Brothers do you have?” He asked because he had heard her mention at least 2 different names before.

“4” She replied.

“Wow”

“Yeah, I learned to get tough quick.” She replied with a laugh.  “There’s Me, Josh, Randall, David and Bret.”

“Bret’s the oldest?”

“Yup” She replied with a nod as she took another sip of wine.

AJ took a sip of his wine and looked over at Siannah when she yawned.  “Tired?” He asked.

“What time is it?” She asked.

“Twelve thirty” He told her.

“Wow” She said as she showed surprise on her face and he titled his head a little.  “Way past my bedtime.”

“Oh” He didn’t realize at the time, she would have to get up early to open the clinic and get it ready for the day.  “Well I’ll go upstairs and get you those things.” He said as he put down his glass and stood up.

AJ made his way up the spiral staircase to the small door way that lead into the loft section, where his room was.  He opened one of the tall wardrobe dressers he had and pulled out a blanket and grabbed a pillow from the bottom.  Why he had extra he didn’t know.  When he came back down he noticed she cleaned everything up and put the glasses in the kitchen.

“Well here ya go” He said as he handed her the blankets. 

“Thanks” She replied as she took them.

“Do you want me to take Dew with me?” He asked.

“Naw it’s alright, I’m sure he’ll be fine.” She said with a light smile.

“Okay, well goodnight.” He said to her as he started to head back upstairs.

“Night” She replied.

AJ walked up the stairs as he heard her settling onto the couch below.  He wanted to look back but what if she was looking at him, what would she get from that? And he couldn’t give her any misconceptions.  He walked into his room and changed for bed; he walked over and pulled down the blankets as he crawled into it.  As he lied there staring at the ceiling a thought popped into his mind. 

“Wait…why would she be watching me walk up the stairs? Was she watching me walk up the stairs?”  And then a feeling of regret came over him for not looking.  “No, no not getting involved, who cares if she looked, just friends so no one will get hurt.” His mind fought back but his heart was lonely and it shouted.  “She cares about you; you know that by now.”

His heart and mind raced for the rest of the night and it wasn’t the first time since he meet her and got to know her that these battles would take place when he was home thinking about her.  He wasn’t sure how long it took him to fall asleep but it seemed like forever.  When he finally did fall asleep his heart played tricks with his mind as he slept.  Images of her and him together alone in his bed, images of walks with Dew in the dog park, and by the time he woke the next morning, his heart had won the battle. 

Pulling off the covers he reached for clean clothes from his dresser and began to get dressed. When everything was zipped up, pulled down and flattened he walked out of his room and stopped at the landing.  He looked down at the couch and saw the blankets folded and a note sitting on top.  He quickly walked down the stairs and over to the nice neat pile.  Picking up the note, he opened it and his eyes scanned the words as he read them.

“I think another plow went by last night, the pile wasn’t as bad this morning, so I cleared it out.  Thanks for letting me crash and drink all your wine.” And he smiled at the happy face she drew.  “Don’t forget to call my clinic for Dew. See ya soon, Siannah.”

AJ sighed as he looked away.  Maybe this was a good thing, he shouldn’t let her in, and it was safer for her.  His heart backed away as his mind calmed the emotions that ran through him.  When he felt something nudge his leg he looked down and saw Dew looking up at him.  He walked over to the back door and opened it; the dog went running outside ready to play in the new snow.  He jumped into the giant pile of snow and then would snap around at the falling flakes he kicked up.  AJ laughed as he watched.  When his dog came back in he closed the door and headed over to the couch, turning on the TV.