Fearful Renegade

Twenty

February 16th 2011

AJ grunted as he pulled on the blanket with his two thousand pound dog on it.  Okay it wasn’t two thousands pounds but he sure did feel like it.  Once he got to the back door he clicked on the leash and picked Dew up the way Becca had showed him.

“God damn it why didn’t I get a Chihuahua.” AJ grunted as he walked out the back door.  Carefully he set Dew down and watched him as he stood on his legs.  Slowly AJ lead him to the grass and then let him walk or do what he chose to do. 

His eyes fell in confusion when he heard his front door closed.  Turning around he looked into his house.  Taking a couple of steps making sure he was still close to Dew he peered inside and saw his Mother walking across the living room.  Then he saw Howie, Nick, Brian and Kevin.

“He’s out here!” Denise shouted into the house.

“What are you doing here?” AJ asked.

“Well when you called and told me what happened I called them, they want to talk to you.” Denise said as the four guys came out of the house.

“Hey man.” Kevin said as AJ looked at him, he then looked at his Mom.

“I’m not going back.” AJ told her.

“Whoa, that thing is huge!” Nick said as he walked out behind the others.

“Alex…”

“No” AJ snapped.  “I can’t believe you dragged them all the way out here.”

“You said yourself Siannah doesn’t want to see you.” Denise said.

“Her family says she doesn’t want to see me and until I hear it from her mouth.” AJ started to say but Nick interrupted him.

“But the stalker or Emily whatever she’s gone dude, you can come back and…”

“I don’t want to go back I like it here.” AJ told them.

“But what about the music, you said…”

“I know what I said; I also said that a couple of years ago.” AJ took a deep breath a sighed.  “I’m not getting into this again.”

“Well to god damn bad.” Kevin snapped and everyone looked at him. “We’ve spent the past year worried sick about you Alex, only hearing about you from your Mom, don’t you think we deserved better than that?”

“Look I did what I did because I didn’t want you guys ending up in the same danger as Emily.” AJ told them.

“But it was Emily that did that.” Brain replied and AJ looked at him.  “And she’s in jail now, there’s no reason to protect us.”

“No one’s saying you can’t come back here man, but don’t you want to start writing again, signing again, and get out on the road again.” Kevin said as AJ turned around and carefully picked up Dew.

AJ walked into the house and carefully laid Dew down on the blanket.  Brushing his clothes off he looked at his Mother and Friends.  “No” He replied.  “I want Dew to be able to walk so we can go fuck around at the dog park, I want to be able to know what is going on with Siannah, I want her to come home, and I want to move on with my life, with her.”  He told them and then bent down and dragged Dew over to his spot in front of the couch.

“I’m sorry I pushed you guys away for a year but honestly it was something I needed to do and not because of Emily but because I needed to deal with shit on my own, no safety net.” AJ told them.  “At first I didn’t even realize that’s what was happening  but it happened, who knows if I’ll ever get back into music, not saying it won’t happened but right now, this, here, with her, is my life.”

“So what about us then?” Kevin asked.

“You’re more than welcome to come visit, to call now that everything’s ok, you’re still my Brothers so that’s why I hope you can respect what I want.” AJ told him. “And I’m not saying I won’t ever go back to Cali, who knows maybe we’ll get a summer place there.” 

“A summer place?” Denise said.  “You’ve known her for…”

“For almost a year, like a month to the day, she’s not some chick I met on tour, someone I was looking for because I didn’t wanna spend the night alone, or some chick I met in a Karaoke bar.” AJ said putting an emphasis on the last statement.  “I met her a couple of months after I got here, I saw her at least once a day, we talked, we slowly got to know each other, and then we started dating, sounds pretty fucking normal to me.”

“But you’re already talking about spending the rest of your life with her.” Denise replied.

“I would like to yes, I don’t know what’s going too happened but now that all this bullshit with Emily is over, it’s something I can work on, what’s so hard to understand about that.” AJ said to her.

“We’re sorry Alex it’s just kind of hard for us to grasp our heads around, you weren’t exactly citizen of the year when you left.” Kevin said as AJ sat down on the couch.

“I know” AJ sighed. There were a few moments of silence and then Kevin spoke up.

“So, what all have you heard about Siannah?” His band mate asked.

“Not much” AJ said as he sat back.  “Charlie called the night I came home, said she was in post OP, she was stable but they weren’t sure if they stopped all the bleeding, and it was touch and go for the night.” AJ told them.  “Becca called me the next day told me she was still stable but the Doctors said it was going to be a couple of days before she actually woke up.”  The memory of her getting shot relapsed in his mind.  “She lost a lot of blood.”

“Who’s Becca and Charlie?” Howie asked.

“Becca is Siannah’s assistant at the clinic, she’s also Siannah’s best friend, and Charlie is a cop here in town.” AJ told him.

“And her Brothers and Father still blame you?” Denise asked and AJ nodded. “But I thought you said Siannah said she didn’t want to see you.”

“They said, well David said she didn’t want to see me.  He came by last night said she woke up and told them she didn’t want to see me and I should stay away when she gets out.” AJ told them.

“And you don’t believe them?” Brian asked.

“Fuck no!” AJ scoffed.  “She stayed through out everything even after I tried pushing her away.  After Emily attacked her, the phone calls, she wasn’t scared, and it makes no damn sense for her to just give up what we have now.”

“You could always send her flowers.” Nick said and everyone looked at him.  “Maybe they won’t think anything of it, thinking it’s from a friend, and then she’ll read the card.”

AJ thought about it for a moment.  “That’s actually a pretty good idea Nick.”

“Oh can I dress up as a flower dude and deliver them myself?” Nick asked.  AJ raised an eyebrow at him.  Howie rolled his eyes and lightly shook his head, Brian sighed and Kevin just stared at him, almost like Nick was growing a third head.  “This way you know she’ll get them.”

“What if they recognize you?” Brian asked.

“Well, I mean it’s not like her Brothers would know you well enough, a hat, sunglasses, it might work.” AJ replied.

“You’re not serious.” Kevin said as AJ looked at him.

“I can do it” Nick said with a nod.

“Wait you two don’t even know what room she’s in.” Kevin said and AJ frowned.

“He’s right” And then he snapped his fingers. “But Becca does.” Quickly AJ reached for the phone and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.  He dialed the number and waited as the phone on the other end rang. 

“Hello?” Becca said as she picked up.

“Hey Becca its Alex” He said as the people around him stayed quiet. 

“I’m at the hospital right now, can it wait till later?” Becca asked.

“Um, I want to send something to Siannah what room is she in?” AJ asked.  There was silence.

“Ohh, yeah the order. One second.” Becca said and AJ’s face fell in confusion.  “Okay so what did you have?” She asked again and he was still a little confused, was her cell phone getting crossed signals.  “Yeah 4 of those, okay, 5 of those right, and 9 of those yep that’s right.”

“What the hell are you talking about, 4 of what, 2 of…” AJ stopped. “Oh, oh oh.” AJ replied quickly.  “Okay cool thanks.”

“No problem thanks for calling and double checking.” Becca said and then hung of the phone.

“Room 429” AJ said after he hung up the phone.

“That was a weird conversation.” Brian said.

“I think Siannah’s brothers were around her, she was pretending to double check an order or something.” AJ told them with a shrug.

“So what should I ware?” Nick asked.

“Are you sure they’re not going to think something is up, it’s a small town.” Kevin said.

“Her Brothers and Dad don’t live here, they live in Vancouver.” AJ told him as he walked over to the stairs.

“Where are you going?” Brian asked.

“To get Nick a hat and glasses.” He told them as he hurried up the stairs. 

“This is gonna be awesome, I’m like a secret agent.” Nick said with some excitement. “Carter…Nick Carter.”

“Wasn’t there a fanfic like that?” Howie asked and AJ shrugged as he handed Nick the hat and glasses.

“Yeah” Nick replied and everyone stared at him.  “I never read it.”

“Bullshit” Kevin replied in a muffled cough.

“Eat me Richardson.” Nick snapped back.

“Alright so I’ll drive you to the flower shop, get the flowers and the card, and then take you to the hospital.” AJ told him.

“What about us?” Denise asked.

“Wait here we’ll be back.” AJ told her and then she rolled her eyes as she sat down.

“Don’t have time for this.” He thought to himself as he grabbed his jacket.

AJ and Nick got into his truck he chuckled as Nick bitched about how cold it was.  He started the truck and let it warm up and then pulled out of the drive way.  They went over what Nick should do as AJ drove them to the flower shop.  When they arrived he went inside and ordered a bouquet of daisy’s and then took Nick to the hospital.

Now for the hard part, the waiting.  He watched as Nick walked in the regular doors and took a deep breath.  Hoping that Nick made it through with no problems, hoping no one recognized him, and hoping her Brothers were wrong and she wanted to see him.  Then as he found himself getting antsy and tapping on his steering wheel he saw Nick walking out of the Hospital, no flowers either.

“So?” AJ said as Nick shut the door.

“Package Delivered.” Nick said with a proud smile.

“Was she awake, how did she look? Did she recognize you?” AJ asked a little excited.

“Yes, Tired, and No but I think her friend did.” Nick told him.  “Curly blond hair, kind of 80’ish looking?” Nick asked

AJ lightly chuckled.  “Yeah”

“Yeah she kind of had this look like she knew who I was.” Nick told him as they pulled out of the parking lot.  “I knocked on the door and some dude answered, told them I had flowers for her, they let me in and I gave them too her.  That’s when I looked over at her friend and she was like…well…we see that look all the time.”

“Hmm” AJ replied as he stopped at the light.  “Becca never lead me to believe she was a fan.”

“Yeah well like I said I’ve see that look before.” Nick replied.

“Did she read the card?” AJ asked.

“She was reading it when I left, didn’t want to stick around cause what delivery boy does.” Nick told him.

“Well at least she was reading it.” AJ sighed.

“What did you say?” Nick asked.  “I mean if it’s not too personal.”

“I just told her that I hoped she was okay, that I was going out of my mind worried about her, I missed her and that if what her Brothers told me was true I would respect that.” AJ said as they stopped at the last intersection before his street.  There was a moment of silence and the AJ looked over at Nick.

“Hey Nick”

“Yeah?” replied looking from the window to him.

“Thanks” He said with a light smile.

“No problem dude” Nick said returning the smile.