I breathed in the cool, salty air as I kicked my shoes off, the cool sand running through my toes.  I pulled my hair out of the pony tail and shook my long, curly brown tresses, letting the breeze catch it.  I shielded my eyes from the bright sunlight as I looked down the beach.  At this moment, there wasn’t anywhere in the world I would rather be.  I looked down as my most trusted confidante nuzzled my leg, tugging on his leash.

“You ready to run, Harley” I said reaching down to unhook the leash of my beautiful golden retriever.  At seven years old, he was my best friend in the world.  The one I knew I could alwasy count on.    Every now and then when I would bring him out to the beaches of Malibu I’d get that nostalgic feeling, but I quickly shook it off.  I rolled up the legs of billowy, white running pants so that I’d be able to run along the waters’ edge.  They showed off my golden tan I didn’t even have to attempt to maintain after living in Los Angeles for the last nine years.  I pulled up the sleeves of my pale blue running shirt to prepare myself for my regular 4 mile run.  Two miles up, two miles back down the beach, We knew it like the back of my hand.

Harley and I started off at a comfortable pace with him falling into his normal spot right beside me.  I always felt most alive running down the beach.  If you had told me 7 years ago, that I would be up this early on a Sunday morning running down the beach I never would have believed you.  I probably wouldn’t even have gotten out of bed before 3:00 in the afternoon.  A consequence of staying out partying until 4 in the morning.  That was my old life.  When I was part of the young and hip Hollywood crowd.  Both a blessing and a curse.  I had come out here from Illinois, to be a star.  I wanted to be an actress.  But what really ended up happening was that I fell into a crazy life of parties, drugs, and a scene all too familiar to others who come out here to discover their dream of being famous. 

I shook the thought out of my head.  Those days were behind me.  I lived a much simpler life now, just Harley and me about four miles from here.  I took a moment to take in the beauty of the beach.  People from all walks of life were beginning to enjoy their day – jogging, swimming, paddle boarding.  Harley looked up at me in an effort to nudge me a little faster.  I looked down the beach to see a group of people congregating near the water line. 

Suddenly, Harley broke stride from me and bolted towards them.  “HARLEY,” I shouted as I picked up pace.  That wasn’t like him at all.  I saw him run right into the middle of the group of people and begin to jump up on a tall, lanky blond guy.   I ran up to him in an attempt to pull him off the man he was attacking, or so it seemed.  The man who was apparently in the center of all of the action.  It looked like some sort of photography shoot and a short man with a huge camera started shouting.  “GET THAT DOG OUT OF THE SHOT!!!”.

I reached for Harley, completely embarrassed.  “I am so sorry, he NEVER does that...” I said grabbing him around the collar and wrestling with him in the whitewash of the waves coming in.  “He never does that unless he knows…” I said looking up for the first time at the man Harley jumped up on.  My words caught in my throat.  “Unless he knows him…” I managed to squeak out.  “Nick…” I said simply.

“Ashleigh…” Nick began.  Recognition registered on both of our faces.  My stomach must have turned over a thousand times in a single second.  I hadn’t seen him for seven years.  He looked amazing.   “How are you…” he said simply.  He was wearing a white button down shirt rolled up at his arms.  Baggy khaki pants rolled above his ankles.  His short, spiked golden hair glistened in the sun light and a days worth of stubble was evident on his face.  It was clearly evident that he worked out.  This wasn’t the same person I had known years ago.

“I’m good, Nick – how are you?” I asked as I ran my hand up and down over my damp arms.  I was still trying to catch my breath from the two mile run I had behind me.  It was at that moment I realized that the worst possible time to ever run into your ex-boyfriend is when you’ve been sweating your ass off by running down the beach.  “I must look a mess…” I said as I ran my hair through my hair.

“CAN WE GET ON WITH THINGS!!”, the photographer began yelling.

“Hey, Jim,” Nick said to him, “it’s cool, give me fifteen.” I saw Jim motion to the others assisting to take a break.  Nick looked over at me.  “I heard through some people that you were still out here, I was kind of surprised.”

I nodded.  “I thought about moving back home, but once I…”, I swallowed hard as memories started flooding back.  “Once I got through everything, I ended up going to UCLA and got my degree in Social Work.  I run a program for battered women now over in the valley.” Nick nodded.  “The years have been good to you, Nick…you look like you’re doing really well.  I’m happy for you.” I smiled at him.  “Harley remembers you…” I said motioning to the dog now laying down at my feet panting.

“I can’t believe he remembers me.  We…you, got him as a puppy, wasn’t he only 6 months old when…” Nick trailed off.

“It’s okay, Nick…I’m okay with the past.” I looked back over my shoulder, not sure where the conversation was leading.

“I’m so sorry about everything, Ashleigh…I never got the chance to tell you, I tried to visit you…there, but your parents wouldn’t let me.  I knew I had a problem, but I wasn’t to admit it yet…it took me years, but…you were part of the reason I finally got help.” He looked up towards the sun and closed his eyes, placing both hands behind his neck.

“Nick, it’s okay – I’m fine talking about the past.  We both were so toxic back then – running around with the fast crowd.  It just caught up to me first.  I have no problem telling people I had to go to rehab.  It’s part of who I am today.  I just had to realize that life wasn’t for me.  I had to leave it, and I had to leave you…” I blinked back the tears that had begun to form in my eyes.

“You look amazing, Ashleigh.  You look healthy, you look good…you really look happy.” He smiled that amazing half smirk half smile at me.  One things that’s never changed I thought to myself.

“I am happy, Nick.  It took me a long time to be able to say it, but I can honestly say now that I am. You look happy too, I’ve seen some things about you lately…looks like you’ve got a solo album coming out, your tour last summer looked like it did really well – I heard you’ve been dating someone pretty serious now.  I’m really hap….”

“Was dating….” Nick interrupted me.  “That ended kind of quietly a couple of months ago.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked down.

“I’m sorry…” I began.

“Nah, it’s cool.  It just ran it’s course.  It’s almost like both of us woke up one morning and realized that we were just friends.  No passion, not like…” he trailed off.

“Yeah,” I bit my lower lip.  “We never had problems in that department.” I smiled shyly. I noticed the crew had started to walk back down towards us.  “I guess I should let you go.” I said as I motioned to the group of people.

“Yeah, we’re doing some photography for the new album…” he explained.  “It was really great seeing you, Ash….” he said reaching for me to pull me into a hug.  I allowed myself to be enveloped in his arms, the feeling of electricity that I used to feel coursing through me when he touched me reawakened after seven years.  I sensed he felt it too.  He took in a deep breath as he continued to hold me, my face resting against his chest.  I inhaled the still familiar scent of AXE and ivory soap.  Some things never change, I thought to myself. 

He slowly released me.  “Ashleigh…I…I still care about you.  Do you think there would ever be a….” he trailed off seeing the fear in my eyes.

“I…wow,  Nick…I just don’t know.  It would be like…we’d have to start over.  I’m not even sure we’re the same people we were.  Look, I really need to go…and you need to get back to your work.  It was really good to see you, and I’m so happy for you – you’ve earned it all, Nick.” I kissed my fingers and raised them to h s lips.  He grabbed my hand as I began to walk away.  Choking back tears I held on until the last moment.  Harley raised up on his haunches and began a steady pace beside me.  I silently waved to him one more time, the longing in his eyes evident. 

Turning so he wouldn’t see me begin to cry, I began my jogging pace again as I started my run down the beach, back to the beginning.  I wanted to stop, but I kept my face turned forward, not allowing myself to look back.  Suddenly, Harley stopped dead in his tracks.  I quickly stopped and turned around, beginning to urge him again to head back towards the car. 

But something had gotten his attention.  “Ni……” I began, seeing him stand about 40 feet behind me.  He continued his slow jog up to me.  “What are you…” I started to say as he approached us.

“Hi,” he said extending his hand out to me.  “My name is Nick.  I saw you running down the beach, and knew I just had to get to know you.  I was wondering if you’d like to meet me for a cup of coffee tomorrow.”  All resolve that I had just instilled in myself withered away.

I grasped his extended hand.  “My names Ashleigh,” I smiled brightly.  “and I would love to.”

"I Still" by the Backstreet Boys http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yLG-lW_r_g