To be late December that morning seemed to be an early gift of spring with its lukewarm sunrays that peeped inside the room, illuminating the parquet floor and giving to it a resonance of honey. Brian woke up beneath a blanket of silence, half-closing his eyes that still were used to the dark provided by the sleep. He remembered how painkillers and warmth coming from Nick’s body had lulled him until he fell asleep, though he recalled that he did on the couch instead than the bed where he was laying on in that moment. He would like to have the memory of Nick carrying him in the bedroom but, reluctantly, he knew he would have been embarrassed if he had been conscious. If there was one thing he hated the most was being that vulnerable and weak and let people see and witness that side of him. And yet he couldn’t seem to be able to keep up his strong façade with Nick and he was kind of loving being, again, the centre of attentions and care of someone else. 

“You’re finally awake! I was starting to think that I gave you a sleeping pill instead than a painkiller.” Nick exclaimed from his spot against the doorframe. 

Brian stretched his muscles, simply extending his arms above the head before turning slowly, being extra careful of his ankle. “What time is it?” 

“Two p.m., more or less. This morning you were sleeping soundly so I went to the museum for a few hours. I’ve left you a note in case you would wake up.” Now that he was more lucid, Brian noted the post-it on the cushion near his, scribbled down in that writing sometimes hard to define. He couldn’t help but smile while reading the last sentence, a warning not to jump around the flat until he would be back. He didn’t roll it into a ball but, instead, he put it inside his drawer, there with all the notes and things that Nick had given him. When he turned around again, Nick was already by his side, a veil of worry obscuring his face. 

“Ehi. – Brian murmured, taking one of his hands. – It’s just a sprained ankle.” 

Nick grumbled. “I know.” 

Brian frowned at that tone, where a little bit of angriness slipped unconsciously.”Why are you mad?” 

“I’m not mad.” 

“Yes, you are. You always nibble the corner of your mouth when you are mad but not wanting to let it show.” Brian replied, placing the tip of his finger on that spot that had been tortured until that moment. 

Nick sighed, knowing that he couldn’t lie anymore. “It’s... I just don’t like when you are all alone at the cafeteria. You could have been hurt worse than a sprained ankle and no one would have known.”

“But it didn’t happen.” 

“But it could. And why you didn’t call me?” 

“You were working! I wasn’t going to let you leave your job only for a sprained ankle! Nick, what’s the real point?” 

“You weren’t going to tell me!” Frustration made Nick’s tone a little louder than what he intended to. 

Brian looked down, his fingers playing nervously with the hem of the blanket. “I just didn’t want to worry you. I... well, no one has ever cared whether if I was okay or not.” He added then with a shrug of the shoulder. 

“That’s the point. – Nick replied with a softer accent. - I know that you’re used to being alone and not having anyone there for you but... but I’m here. You don’t have to hide things only because you don’t want me to worry. Because I’ll always worry, no matter how many times you’re gonna shut me out. It’s part of loving someone.” 

“What do you want me to do? Closing the bar?” Brian reacted on instinct, a sort of defense and protection of the only thing that he had been left from his mother. That was the reason why he had never changed everything, why he had kept the cafeteria even if he had been too young. That bar was his mother’s legacy and there were days when he could still feel her presence. 

“No, you know I would never ask you something like that. I know how much and what it means to you.” 

“And then what, Nick?” 

“Get someone to help you.” 

“Mom didn’t need one.” 

“I know. But she had you. – Nick replied, remembering how Brian had told him about those summers spent working behind the counter instead than being out and play with the other kids. – And she didn’t have exams, classes to attend or concerts.” 

Brian knew that Nick was right. Every words was filled with glimpse of truth and they painted an idea that had come to his mind a lot of times, especially from the day him and Nick had started their relationship. He knew he could hire someone, he did have the money for another salary and he did need more time off for classes and Nick. But every time he couldn’t help but feeling like he was disappointing his mother so he let the idea fading away and just keep going as usual. He let himself being enveloped inside Nick’s arms and he couldn’t be able to tell how much time they spent in that position. He only knew that, when he started to speak again, the sun was starting to left its place up in the sky. “I will. I’ll try to find some help.”