Brian walked over to Nick silently, hugging him from behind while he was still busy studying painting that he didn’t even know existed; he rested his chin on his shoulder, while with one hand, pushed aside a few tufts of hair. "What’s bothering you?" Brian asked him in a whisper. 

"Nothing." Nick lied, trying to avoid that little voice telling him to say all the things that were really bothering him. 

"Liar. It’s not nothing. I watch you and you have often that look that you usually have when you’re gnawing inside but you can’t defeat it." 

But Nick knew he couldn’t really tell him what it was literally eating him alive. So, he opted for a half-truth, much more obvious and less dangerous and treacherous. 

"Europe. A part of me wants to leave, it knows that you're right when you say that this is an opportunity too important to pass up. And don’t think that I haven’t noticed how much you've changed. - Brian smiled sheepishly, a mixture of redness accentuated by the light of the living room. - Maybe that's why I want to leave, because I know I can leave you here safe." 

"Nick..." 

"Let me finish. - Nick muttered. - Then ... then there is the other side. That side that doesn’t want to leave you, not now after all we've been through. Above all, it is the part that is afraid of this separation. It is afraid that you might forget me, or worse, that I might forget you. Because we will be in two opposite points of the world, each absorbed by their lives and ... I don’t want that to happen to us. I don’t want to find myself one day to see a sunset in some capital and not wanting you to be there with me to see it." 

"Oh Nicky. - Brian exclaimed in a whisper, resting his lips on his forehead. - No, it won’t happen. Do you really think that I can forget about you just because you are oceans away from me?" 

"I don’t think it seriously. Just... it might happen." 

"Not to us. It will be tough, I’m not denying it, especially because this house now talks about you in every corner. But we'll make it, if this, if leaving, is what you really want. " With a simple touch of lips, Brian wiped the lone tear that was slipping away from Nick’s eyes. Then, he leaned his forehead against Nick’s and they remained in that position for a few seconds, listening to their breathing and their heartbeats matching together. 

"How can you be so sure?" 

"You know ... I was wrong before. I was wrong thinking and believing that love is sacrifice yourself only to see your other half finally realized his dream. Love is the opposite. Love is joining each other’s forces so that we can realize our dreams, mine and yours. Love means staying in the shadows and be dazzled by the light of the one who hold your heart and see him shine bright and brighter. And now it's your time to shine. " 

For a few seconds, Nick couldn’t help but observe Brian in silence because nothing but tears would emerge if he ever opened his mouth. He didn’t even wait for that resentment to show its ugly head and voice because that time he wouldn’t listen to it nor he would silence it in his own way. He waited only that the lump in my throat would melt before whispering his promise on the edge of the lips. "Love, to me, is just to love you.”

***

New Year had started in a totally different way from Christmas Day. Perhaps it had been even better because he and Brian had been together since the first minute they had been both awake, and maybe it was also because now there was no sword over their heads, threatening to fall and hurt them more than it already did. 

Just like Christmas, New Year’s Eve found them at the cafeteria, which had been open to anyone who didn’t have anyone to celebrate the beginning of the new year. Nick knew many people from the previous festival, a mixture of older and younger people that made him appreciate and made him feel even more fortunate to have a family that cared for him, even in its somewhat bizarre ways of showing, and an extended family that now filled the room with uproarious laughter and chatter contagious: Howie, Mya and the boyfriend of the week, Kurt, Blaine and his psychopathic brother who had spent the previous half hour going around wishing "an intense good year" while pointing his index finger at the occasional victim. 

Despite all of this mess, Nick’s attention and gaze were captured by the guy who at that time was teaching some children how to play the guitar: observing Brian in the middle of the room, including children and many strangers who were for him the family he never had, had made him realize how really important it was that place for him, not only for the memory of his mother. Among those walls, Brian was perfectly at ease. He was so self-confident like only a few times Nick had seen him. And he couldn’t ignore that bit of jealousy that mingled with the pride that only a loved one could feel: when would he find himself? Despite the grandeur of New York, the city began to feel so small. He wanted to fly, he wanted to find his place, possibly without having to give up Brian. And maybe, maybe he had been wrong when he said that Europe was no longer in his dreams. Simply, that dream had turned into something bigger, the opportunity to grow, mature and become a whole person, because he hadn’t given up his dreams and neither the most beautiful love that could ever exist. And Nick was sure that this experience would make him a better man for Brian. 

It was just a few minutes before midnight when he met the boy out of the cafeteria , standing there between cold and snow and waiting for the fireworks. 

"Bri ... I've decided." 

Brian cocked his head slightly, watching him carefully. "About what?" 

"Europe. I want to go." 

Brian’s arms wrapped around his neck at the same time that the clock started to ring. "I love you." He spoke simply and never other words resonated so strongly reassuring. They were only three letters but intertwined them were promises that weren’t worth if spoken aloud. 

And while welcoming the New Year, Nick was sure that he was going to make it, that he could conquer the world only because he had and would always have Brian at his side, with his unwavering confidence, trust and faith in him and his abilities. 

"Me, too. - Nick replied, touching his lips with Brian’s and inhaling his scent. - We will make it through."