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Chapter Twenty-Three


Rebooking the doctor's appointment was a hassle because Dr. Carlsbad was really busy and it was hard to get the first one so quickly as it was. Luckly, they were able to juggle a few people to plop me in between Sanremo and Jamaica, so I wouldn't have to wait longer than need be. It was going to be tight and I probably wouldn't have any time to see my family while I was in Kentucky, other than maybe for a couple hours, but at least I was going to get to the doctors and get this worry off my chest. Literally. And it would be a great relief to have them tell me I was fine, that I was being neurotic. Because that's all it was, right? Me, just being neurotic?

The next few days went smoothly. Carol and Kristin and Leighanne all came over one night and we had a huge Monopoly game that lasted half the night and ended with Leighanne and I dueling to the bittersweet end when we both had to cash out and ended up having a $100 difference in our total cash value. We called it a tie, but I'm proud to say I've still got my title as reigning Monopoly King. Technically.

Other than that, my time was just peppered with time spent with Leighanne. It was funny how busy I'd been and how not busy I was now that I was home. It was shocking the way jumping into a freezing cold swimming pool is, and I found myself sleeping a lot more than I really needed to when Leighanne wasn't around. Kevin made a comment about me needing to get out more, but what else do you do with hours and hours of free time? It's not like Nick was gonna come hang out with me even if I asked him to. He still wasn't really even answering my phone calls. Besides, a little sleep during a break from working never hurt anybody.

On my birthday, I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on my door. "Whaaat," I moaned.

The door opened a crack. "Good morning birthday boy."

I woke up quickly and found Leighanne's face smooshed into the crack in the door frame. "May I come in?" she asked, smiling dangerously from the hallway.

"Yeah of course," I replied, struggling to sit up, the blankets wrapped around my leg like a trap of some sort. She pushed the door open and slipped in, revealing a tray of breakfast foods, including pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse. Kicking the door closed behind her, she slipped the tray over my lap and lowered onto the bed beside me, pressing a kiss to the side of my head. She reached over with a lighter and lit a candle that stood in the center of one of the pancakes.

"Happy birthday to you," she sang in a voice only scarcely above a whisper. "Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday, dearest Brian... Happy birthday to you." Leighanne smiled. "Make a wish," she said, her voice husky.

I blew out the candles, staring into her eyes.

Her lips curled knowingly. "Maybe later we'll make that wish come true."

After I'd gobbled up my pancakes, we headed out to play a few rounds of mini golf at this fantastic Pirate themed place in Orlando. It really is a pretty terrific place, with a big plastic pirate ship with moving parts that if you got a hole-in-one on it you got free ice cream at the end of the game. I like ice cream.

We played through, putting neon painted golf balls through the various obstacles set up by the park. We didn't really keep score but I bragged profusely when I got the balls in the cups at the end, and I even started humming the Rocky theme at one point while doing a little jig. "My aren't we full of ourselves today?" Leighanne laughed.

I grinned, "I'm gonna get that free ice cream, you watch and see. I can feel it."

When we finally reached the blessed eighteenth hole, my game was on fire. I placed the ball on the tee and drew a deep breath, closing my eyes and holding my putter like a knight about to go into war. Once I'd centered my chi, I turned to Leighanne. "Stand back and watch how it's done." I grinned.

"Mhm," Leighanne said as she obligingly stood back and watched.

I carefully wrapped my hands around the putter, being very careful to make sure I was holding it just so and lined up the ball, biting the end of my tongue ever so slightly. From behind me, Leighanne laughed, and when I turned around, she said, "You hold your club like my father does." I realized I was using the putter grip he'd taught me.

I laughed nervously because she had no clue I'd been to see her parents.

At least not that I knew of.

"Really?" I asked. I shrugged. I turned back to the little golf ball.

I could feel Leighanne's eyes on me as I refocused, and brought the putter down on the ball with force. The ball rocketed off my tee, hit the spinning oars of the ship, which blocked the hole it needed to pass through, and bounced off the deck, rolling back to me, only a couple inches away from where I'd started.

"Damn it," I groaned.

Leighanne smirked, "Stand back, and watch how a lady does it," she said.

I watched.

Leighanne lined up the club, watched the oars, and her lips moved ever so slightly as she concentrated. She, too, had the same grip her father did. And then, she let go on the ball with just a slightly less forceful swing than I'd whaled it off with. The ball sailed smoothly through the hole in the boat, and landed with a clunk in the plastic cup on the far side of the ship.

She smiled, turning to me and leaning on the putter as she studied me a moment. Finally, she said, "It's okay, I'll let you have a lick of my ice cream."

I grinned, "Is that all I can lick?"

"Dirty boy," she said in a mock-disgusted voice. She waved a hand at the ball, "Putt away, Mister, or we'll never get home for you to even attempt to lick anything else."

It took like five puts - one of which was strickly digging the green - and finally I managed to sink the ball in the hole. We turned in our gear, Leighanne collected her ice cream coupon, and we went over to the ice cream window. She got a scoop of strawberry ice cream with colored sprinkles and we sat at a picnic table in the shade by the parking lot. Leighanne fed me a bite of her ice cream and kissed my forehead. "I think it's sexy I can beat you at mini golf," she teased.

I looked up at her. We were sitting so she was on the table in front of me while I sat on the bench. "Leighanne," I said quietly.

"I really do," she said, smiling brightly. "Guys think it's always a turn on when they're all he-man and stuff but sometimes--"

"Marry me."

Leighanne stopped speaking mid-sentence, and sat there, staring at me, dumbfounded. "What?"

"Marry me."

She had the spoon halfway to her mouth as the words came out and she soft of stayed like that, in suspended motion, her eyes searching mine for the longest moment. I broke the gaze first, reaching into my pocket and pulled out the ring box. She slipped the spoon into her mouth as I looked back up at her, and drew it out as our eyes met yet again. "Please," I said. I opened the box, and there in the crushed velvet interior was the canary yellow diamond.

"Brian," she whispered.

"I've been thinking about it for a real long time," I said quietly, "And I asked your dad. When we were in Georgia."

"He showed you his golf swing didn't he?"

"Focus baby," I said, smiling.

Tears suddenly sprang to Leighanne's eyes, "Oh my God, you're serious, aren't you?" she suddenly realized.

"As a heart attack," I answered without thinking.

Leighanne raised an eyebrow.

"Which is certainly not a joking matter, "I added.

"Lord God almighty, Brian Littrell," she gasped. Her hands shook as she reached for the ring. She plucked it from the box, which I snapped closed and put on the table beside her. Leighanne stared at the ring, breathless.

"Leighanne Wallace," I said quietly, "How many times are you going to make me ask you?" I laughed.

She looked into my eyes. "Brian, of course it's yes. A thousand million times yes." She bent forward and kissed me, and I wrestled the ring from her hand and slipped it carefully onto her left ring finger. Her kiss tasted like strawberry ice cream.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Someone clapped a couple tables away and Leighanne laughed, tears pouring down her cheeks, and looked over at the clapping woman and waved and I laughed because I hadn't been aware that we had an audience at all. I'd been too focused on Leighanne, on wanting to ask her.

"This was the perfect birthday present," I whispered, when I stood and helped her up off the table. She wrapped her arms around me, chucking her empty ice cream cup into a rubbish bin beside the table.

"And you haven't even gotten your wish yet," she laughed.

"Yes I did," I replied. "I just did."

Leighanne blushed. "I thought you wished for --"

"Sex?" I shook my head. "I wished for you to say yes."

When we got back to the apartment, Leighanne and I shared a kiss in the her car and I started wondering how serious she'd been when she'd suggested sex later. Serious enough, I found, that after our kiss broke apart, she glanced at the car's dashboard clock, then climbed out, a grin on her face. "Let's go inside," she suggested.

I leaped out of that car like there was no tomorrow, like my body was on fire or something. She led the way up to the stairs that led to our front door and I unlocked the door and stepped inside to a dark room. I reached for the light switch, praying that the dark meant Kevin and Howie were out and Leighanne and I had the apartment all to ourselves. The light illuminated the living room and I jumped back --

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

I'm not quite sure how I'd managed to not expect it, given the fact that Leighanne had very conviently kept me distracted all day, yet she'd done it so seamlessly that for a moment I literally stood in the doorway dumbfounded, unable to respond. My head did a quick reassesment of the meaning of Leighanne following me into the apartment and I pressed a smile through my confusion, "Oh my gosh," I muttered.

"Surprised?" AJ asked, holding up a bottle of beer.

"Uh extremely," I answered.

Kevin came striding up and snapped a cone hat to the top of my head, adjusting it so it tipped slightly.

As I moved into the room, Leighanne clutching my hand tightly, I looked around the room at the faces of my friends. But there was one face very conspicuously missing from the montage. I nudged Howie. "Where's Nick?" I asked.

An oh shit look crossed through Howie's eyes. "He's um - he couldn't come," he replied.

Leighanne leaned in. "We called him," she assured me, "He just couldn't come is all." I could feel the diamond pressing into my palm from her hand. "He wanted to," she lied.

I tried to press the absence of my Frack from the crowd and enjoyed the presents and cake I was showered with for the remainder of the night. We played a crazy version of Beer Pong in the kitchen, and a sort of charades. There was music and lots of people to talk to and I just couldn't be bogged down thinking about Nick not being there.

By eleven o'clock, most everyone had left. AJ was passed out on the chair in the living room and Howie, Kevin, Leighanne, Kristin, and I were standing in the kitchen talking. Leighanne reached for a beer and Kristin's voice pitched, "Oh my GOD," she shrieked, "Look at that rock!" She grabbed Leighanne's hand to see it, and let out a low whistle.

Kevin and Howie looked over to see. "You DOG," Howie shouted, "You got engaged, no way man!"

"Congrats," Kevin responded, cheersing us with his half-drained bottle of beer.

"That's two of you," Howie observed, "TWO!"

"Lou ought to be tickled pink," I laughed.

Leighanne was blushing as everyone fawned over her ring.

We stood around discussing how Kevin and I got engaged and the upcoming Sanremo and Spring Break events, as well as the plans for the next tour. Finally at midnight, we all went to bed, leaving AJ on the chair where he'd fallen asleep. Kevin had called AJ's mom, Denise, after he'd noticed AJ had been drinking a lot and told her he'd be staying at our place overnight so he wasn't missed.

Leighanne and I snuck off to my bedroom and she crawled into bed with me. I woke up early the next morning with her cuddling into my arm, her hand on my bare chest, the ring catching rays of sunlight that snuck through the cracked blinds. I stared at the glint of the stone, and rolled my head to look at the peaceful smile that played across her lips.

She must've felt me staring because her eyes fluttered open softly and she looked at me, her smile spreading even further across her face as she stared up at me. "Morning," she whispered.

"Morning," I whispered back.

We got up, got dressed, and ate breakfast in the kitchen with Kevin and Kris. Howie was sleeping in and AJ had gotten up and gone home before we'd woken up.

After breakfast, we all piled into my Jeep and went out to the beach because the air was unusually muggy for the end of February, and there was rumors of a storm system working its way into the gulf that was causing the breach in average temperatures. We had a great day in the sun, wading sort of up to our knees in the water and in the evening we found a group that had a bon fire going and sort of crashed their party. The warm glow of the fire illuminated these people we didn't know, who were now our friends, and there were marshmellows to toast and beers to drink and a lot of laughs. As the night wore on and the stars rose higher, Leighanne scooted closer, wrapping her arms around my arm, and eventually we went for a walk along the waterline, alone, wandering into the blue darkness until the campfire was nothing more than an orange glow down the beach.

"Are you excited for Italy?" I asked.

Leighanne smiled, "I'm excited for anywhere with you."

"You'll go everywhere with me," I answered, "I'll take you any place in the world."

She slipped her hand into mine. "I'm so happy Brian," she said.

"Me, too."

"I've dreamt of this since I was small."

I nodded, "I know."

She stopped walking and clutched my hands to her and stared into my eyes. "When I am a hundred and four, I will still be thankful that it's you there beside me."

I smiled.

We sat down in the sand and watched the waves for a long time. I found myself thinking of Nick, of all five of us and our careers and how the waves movement really spoke about the feelings I had concerning Lou and TransContinental and Johnny and everything going on. I thought about how different things might be if we'd been paired with any other managers - both for the positive and the negative - and my mind twisted dangerously along in the Butterfly Effect until Leighanne interrupted my mind.

"What're you thinking?" she asked.

"Just about Nick," I answered partly truthfully.

She squeezed my hand. "I'm sorry," she said, "I wish he'd come last night. I know how much it means to you for him to show up when you need him to."

"I was glad the other guys were there," I said.

"Yeah, I didn't say you weren't," Leighanne replied, "But I know how much Nick means to you, too." She leaned her head against my shoulder. "Why are you two fighting anyways?" she asked.

I drew a deep breath, "Because, I told his mum something that he didn't want her to know," I replied.

Leighanne frowned, "Does it help him? Her knowing, I mean?"

"I thought it would," I answered, "But... I don't know." Leighanne looked at me, confusion written on her face. "I'm sorry," I said, "I can't tell you what it is, though."

"I understand," she replied.

We sat in silence again, staring out at the water. After a long pause, Leighanne turned to me. "Brian, you and Nick are best friends. This will pass and it'll be restored. What you have together is too special to be torn apart." Her voice was so sincere it was easy to allow myself to believe what she was saying, even though some part of me questioned if he would ever be able to forgive me, or if some part of him would always see me as the guy who told his mom about Lou.

It was my greatest fear. Which, considering everything that was going on in my life, that really spoke volumes for the value of my friendship with Nick.