Every Road Leads Back

By Dottie

Copyright 2012

Chapter 17

            Nick and Giselle did make love again.  The rest of their visit was fun, but Giselle could tell something with AJ had changed. He barely spoke to her. The night before they were set to leave, Giselle pulls AJ aside and says, "Want to tell me what I did wrong?"

            He says, "Nothing."

            She says, "Why are you all of the sudden avoiding me?"

            AJ says, "I'm not. It's just painfully obvious you've got Nick. You don't need me."

            Tears sting her eyes and she whispers, "AJ...you're my best friend."

            He says, "Then take some friendly advice...Nick's a player, don't ever think he's not."

            When he turns to walk away, she says, "What, I can't ever have a boyfriend? I'm supposed to be the celibate little virgin the rest of my life while you can fuck anything that moves?"

            He says, "That's not what I mean, Elle. I just think Nick isn't what you want him to be. I don't want you to be hurt."

            She snorts and says, "Newsflash, YOU are the only one hurting me, AJ."

            Before he can answer, she runs away. He curses himself for not being more cautious of his words, but Giselle is an adult and has to make her own choices.  Even if he thinks it's the dumbest thing she could possibly do.

            When Nick finds her crying, he's instantly on edge. Sitting on the bed with her, he says, "What's wrong G?"

            Looking at him through tears, she says, "What are you after Nick?"

            He says, "What do you mean, G?"

            She says, "Us. Where are we going? Is this real for you?"

            He bites his tongue for minute before saying, "I do love you, G. But I'm not gonna make you promise to wait for me. I don't know how long I'll be gone and I don't want to ask you to wait when you could find someone who can always be here for you."

            Cursing herself for being so naïve, she says, "In other words, it's ok to fuck me but you don't want a commitment."

            He says, "NO! That's not...I just...G I do love you, but I can't promise I'll always be here. Not now."

            She watches him and says, "But it's ok if I'm available for a quickie when you ARE in town, right?"

            He smiles, completely oblivious to the fact that she's being sarcastic. He says, "Well, sure, if you want. We are great together, aren't we?"

            She turns and says, "Get out! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

            He says, "G? What? I was just being honest!"

            She says, "And I was a fool. I actually believed you when you said you loved me. I actually let you have the one thing that was mine alone to give. And you took it! I bet that made your day, didn't it Nick? You fucked the brainiac that was too stupid to see she was being used." Picking up his duffle bag, she flings it at him and says, "GET OUT! GET OUT!!"

            Everyone comes running as she's shoving him out into the hallway.  AJ stands at the end of the hallway, guilt weighing down his heart. He knows he caused this. Now she's really hurt. He pushes Brian aside and says, "Elle, talk to me."

            She looks at him and says, "You did your talking. You were right, are you happy now? Are you all fucking happy?" She slams the door and locks it, leaving them all standing there with their mouths open.

            AJ turns slowly to Nick and says, "I TOLD you not to hurt her!  I TOLD you!"

            Nick says, "Man, I didn't do anything. I love her, you know that. She just flipped out."

            Kendall says, "You guys get out of here. Let me talk to her."

            AJ says, "Ken..."

            Kendall says, "AJ, just go. I don't know what's going on, but I'll take care of her."

            After they walk away, Kendall knocks on the door and says, "Giselle, it's me. Everyone's gone, let me in."

            Giselle unlocks the door and Kendall comes inside. After re-locking the door, Giselle says, "Kendall, how could I be so stupid?"

            Kendall says, "What happened?"

            Sniffing, Giselle says, "Nick and I...all he wants is sex." Between hiccupping sobs, she says, "He...only...wanted...to...fuck...me!"

            Kendall puts her arm around her and says, "Giselle, you don't know that.  He's young. We're all young. I'm sure he cares a great deal about you."

            Giselle sniffs loudly and says, "He just told me he doesn't want me to wait for him...he doesn't know when he'll be back.  He didn't really want a girlfriend, he just wanted a virgin...and he sure got one!"

            Kendall says, "Did he say that, Giselle?"

            Shaking her head, Giselle says, "He didn't have to. I asked if he just wanted me to be his fuck buddy when he's in town and he agreed.  And AJ...he thinks to warn me AFTER I sleep with Nick?  What the hell?"

            Kendall says, "Giselle, come on, AJ's your best friend. If he had said something to you about Nick, would you have listened?"

            Giselle says, "That's not the point, Ken."

            She says, "It is, Giselle. Maybe Nick is a giant ass, but he didn't rape you, right?"

            Shaking her head, Giselle says, "No, I wanted him."

            She says, "But you thought it would be more than sex."

            Giselle nods and says, "He said he loved me, Ken. I believed him when  he said it."

            Kendall says, "Maybe he does. Like I said, he's young. Give it time. We all need time to grow up."

            Giselle hugs Kendall and says, "Thanks."

            Kendall says, "You want to talk to Nick?"

            Shaking her head, Giselle says, "No. Not now. I can't."

            Kendall says, "What about AJ?"

            Giselle sniffs and says, "I don't want to lose my friend over this."

            Kendall says, "You won't. I'll send him up."

            When Kendall gets downstairs, AJ says, "Is she ok?"

            Kendall nods and says, "She's fine." Looking at Nick, she says, "YOU need to grow up. Don't tell a girl you love her if you're just trying to get in her pants!"

            Nick's mouth drops open and he says, "I DO love her. I just don't want to make promises I don't know if I can keep."

            Kendall says, "Well, guess what, saying ‘I love you' is a promise, Buddy. You better learn what the word means before you mess up someone else's life. You can stay here tonight, but stay away from Giselle.  She's been hurt enough." Turning to AJ she says, "She wants to talk to you. For God's sake, think before you open your damn mouth again."

            AJ says, "Geesh, Kendall, I get it."

            When AJ gets to Giselle's door, she opens it slowly to let him in. Once inside, he says, "I'm sorry Elle. I should have...I should have butted out and kept my mouth shut."

            She said, "You should have talked to me about Nick before I did something stupid."

            He sighs and says, "I know. But I kept hoping he meant what he said. I know you like him a lot."

            Giselle says, "Liked. Past tense."

            AJ says, "You don't mean that Elle."

            She sighs and says, "No, I don't." After taking a deep breath she says, "AJ, why can't I just have something NORMAL in my life?"

            AJ kind of chuckles and says, "Nick is NOT normal, Elle."

            She laughs and says, "I made a fool of myself, huh?"

            He shakes his head and says, "No, you didn't. You have every right to be angry.  I'm sorry, Elle. I wish Nick had a normal life for you. But right now, our lives aren't even our own."

            She says, "AJ, promise me no matter how crazy life gets we'll always be friends."

            He hugs her and says, "I promise Elle. Always."

            But, his promise didn't last very long. The first few months after the boys left, he called her at least twice a week. Nick called a few times, but things between them just weren't the same.

            As Giselle dove into college life, the boys calls became less and less frequent.  Meagan spent more time gone with Brian than she did at home, so she dropped out of college.  Kendall did very well in school. Even better when Grant moved in with her.  With Meagan gone most of the time with Brian, they really needed the third roommate for rent. And it made Kendall's life complete to have him there.

            They really were a perfect fit.  At the beginning of their sophomore year, Grant proposed. Of course Kendall said yes. Giselle was thrilled for them the night they made the announcement. But when she got home and was alone in bed, she had a good, long cry. First she lost AJ, then Meagan, now Kendall would be moving on with Grant.

            After a fitful night of sleep, Giselle wakes up determined not to let Kendall know she was upset. She dresses carefully because she has a big job interview today. When she makes it downstairs, Grant is leaving. He whistles and says, "Knock ‘em dead, Giselle."

            She smiles as he leaves.  They act like it's a big thing, but it's not. She's hoping to go to work in a big chain drug store in their management internship.  IF she can get this job, it will give her an income to afford a place of her own and a chance to travel a bit if they give her the internship. Management isn't really what she wants out of life, but it's something she's good at.

            She finds a note on the table from Kendall. "Early class. Good luck! Text me WHEN you get it!"

            Typical Kendall, cheering her on. As Giselle eats her breakfast, she thinks back to the last time she talked to AJ.  It had been over six months before. He had said, "You know Elle, you pushed me to be the best I can be. Everything good that's happening now is because you believed in me."

            She sniffles, pushing away her plate.  She did believe in AJ. She still does. She just misses him so much. She wanted to share her stories with him about school and her goals...but the last two times she called, he never called back. They finally grew up...and grew apart.

            When Giselle comes home that night, Kendall and Grant are waiting on her. Kendall jumps up and says, "Well? Did you get it?"

            Giselle forces a smile brighter than she feels and says, "I did! I start in two weeks!"

            Kendall hugs her and says, "Oh my God, Giselle, that's AWESOME!"

            Grant hugs her too and says, "Congratulations!"

            Giselle says, "Thanks guys.  I'm really excited."

            Kendall says, "Then why do you look like your cat died?"

            Giselle says, "You know me and my nerves. I gave myself a migraine while I waited. I'm gonna go lay down."

            Kendall says, "Want me to bring you anything?"

            Giselle says, "No, I'll sleep it off. You guys enjoy your night."

            After sleeping for over two hours, Giselle leaves her bedroom to grab a snack for dinner. Before she makes it into the kitchen, she hears Grant and Kendall talking. Grant says, "Kendall, I know it's not easy, but you have to tell her. We can't live with her the rest of our lives. We need a place of our own."

            Giselle bites her lip and chokes back the tears. Kendall says, "I know, Grant. But...I just don't want her to think I'm pushing her away."

            Grant says, "You're not Kendall. She's always going to be your best friend and I'm happy about that. You need each other."

            Pasting on a happy face, Giselle breezes into the kitchen and says, "He's right, you know, Ken. We'll always be friends, but you guys need privacy. Which is why I've been apartment hunting."

            Kendall says, "You what?"

            Giselle says, "Ken, I love you guys, but Grant's right. When you get married, you won't need me around. I have enough money saved up to get a place and the new job will more than cover my rent."

            Kendall says, "Giselle...it's just gonna be so weird..."

            Giselle says, "Stop it right now!  This is a happy occasion, we are NOT going to cry."

            Kendall sniffs and says, "You're the best, Giselle."

            A month later, Giselle is settling into her new, studio apartment. It's one big room, minus the door that gives her privacy in the bathroom. As she's hanging artwork on her wall, her phone rings. Imagine her surprise to hear, "Hey, G, it's Nick," after she answers.