Every Road Leads Back

By Dottie

Copyright 2012

Chapter 20

            Kendall and Giselle had remained close.  Throughout Nick's stay, Kendall had kept her distance, letting Giselle and Nick have their privacy. Once he was gone, she went over to Giselle's to try to cheer her up. She knew her friend was hurting and missing Nick.

            When they sit down to talk, Kendall says, "So, how did it go?"

            Giselle says, "It was good. We...we talked a lot.  And he asked me if I'd be his girlfriend."

            Kendall smiles and says, "I'm assuming you said yes?" When Giselle nods, she says, "Are you happy?"

            Giselle thinks about it and says, "Yeah, for the most part."

            Kendall says, "He'll be back. You know that."

            Giselle says, "I do, Ken. I just got used to having him here."

            Kendall says, "So, what does AJ think of you and Nick?"

            Giselle stands and walks away, hugging herself.  She says, "I don't really know. I haven't spoken to him in months, Ken."

            Kendall's mouth drops open and she gasps. She says, "Giselle...what...I mean...he hasn't called at all?"

            Giselle sadly shakes her head and says, "No. I called when I got the job but he never called back. I guess...I guess we grew apart when we grew up."

            Kendall goes over to her and hugs her, whispering, "Giselle...I thought for sure...he's always been devoted to you. I can't believe..."

            Giselle shakes her head and says, "Really, it's ok. I'll always love AJ. You and he will always be my very best friends."

            Her move to the West Coast takes well over a month. By the time Giselle gets settled into her new job and new apartment in California, she's utterly exhausted.  Between work, her class schedule and adjusting to a new place, sleep becomes sporadic at best. 

When she collapses at work from dizziness, she's whisked away to the hospital in an ambulance. As she's waiting on the doctor to come in and examine her, she closes her eyes, wondering if she's going to be able to keep her job. Collapsing at work after only 2 weeks there isn't going to look well on her job performance review.

After 2 hours worth of tests, the doctor comes back into the room with a somewhat distracted look on his face.  He says, "Giselle, we've figured out what's wrong."

She thinks it's not good. She whispers, "Oh God, what is it?"

He clears his throat and says, "Giselle...you're pregnant."

Shock radiates through her body. Baby. Nick's baby. She whispers, "Baby?"

He nods and says, "I want to run a few tests and do an ultrasound too. I take it this is unexpected?"

She nods and whispers, "I never dreamed...we used...protection."

He says, "Nothing is fool proof. For now, I want to get the ultrasound and determine how far along you are, ok?"

She nods, feeling faint.  She closes her eyes trying to imagine what life with a baby is going to be like. Holy cow she still has college to finish. Her job. She's pondering all the problems with the technician comes in and does the ultrasound.

After the doctor checks all the test results, he comes in again and says, "Giselle, it looks like you're around 8 or 9 weeks. Does that sound right?"

She thinks back..Nick had been with her about a week then. She nods and says, "Yeah it does."

He says, "You need to get set up with an OB-GYN.  I'll recommend a couple of good ones.  For now, try to rest as much as you can. You're a little anemic, but nothing that concerns me greatly, ok?"

She nods and thanks him.  When she gets outside, she runs her hand over her stomach and whispers, "Wow. A baby."

She waits 2 weeks to tell Nick. She doesn't want to drop this on him over the phone, but he's not scheduled to be back in the states for at least four months.  Pushing aside her daily bout of morning sickness, she calls. 

When he answers the phone, he sounds irritated.  She thinks he was sleeping and says, "I'm sorry if I woke you Nick."

She hears him grunt before saying, "S'ok. Hang on a second."

The phone goes completely silent for about 3 seconds.  Then she hears him whisper, "Fuck yes!"

With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she says, "Nick?" No answer.  A little louder, "NICK!"  Still nothing.

Then she hears her. "OH FUCK your dick is HUGE!"

She hangs up. Gently, she lays her phone on the table by her bed and stares off into space. He lied...he used her and lied.  She wants to feel anger at him but she's furious with herself for being such a fool.

She calls Kendall.  After asking about the weather back home three times, Kendall says, "Giselle, what's going on?"

Giselle says, "I...Nick...I called. He was...in bed with someone."

Kendall gasps and says, "He WHAT?"

Giselle says, "Ken...Ken I'm pregnant."

Sobs rack her body. She can barely breathe. Kendall yells, "Giselle, calm down. You gotta CALM DOWN girl."  When she finally stops sobbing, Kendall says, "What are you going to do?"

Shaking from head to toe, Giselle says, "I'm going to have a baby. Kendall, I'm so scared."

Kendall says, "Don't be. Giselle...I'll be here for you, you know that. Unless I go to jail for killing Nick Carter."

Giselle says, "Don't, Ken. I was afraid it was too good to be true. What's done is done. I just...I don't know if I can do this alone."

"Giselle...are you keeping the baby?"

            With shock evident in her voice, Giselle answers quickly and decisively.  "Yes."

            "Want me to come out there?"

Giselle knows if she says yes, Kendall's on the next plane, no questions asked. "More than anything. But...wait till break, ok?"

            Giselle hears papers rustling before Kendall says, "Spring break is in 4 weeks.  I'll be there with bells on, ok?"

            Biting her lip, Giselle closes her eyes. "What do I tell Nick?" she finally asks.

             "Tell him to fuck off." The venom in her friend's voice makes Giselle cringe.  "I mean, Giselle, he's a piece of shit for what he's doing to you."

            "But this is his baby," she cries. "He needs to know Ken."

            Resigned to the fact that she's right, Kendall offers to help. "I know. Want me to call him?"

Determined to end it on her terms not Kendall's OR Nick's, Giselle says, "No, I will. I just....I needed you to ground me."

            Aching for her friend, she begs, "Call me after you talk to him, ok?"

            Giselle sniffles and says, "I will.  Thanks Kendall. Love you."

            Sighing deeply, she whispers, "Love you too. I'm here for you."

            After an hour and a cup of tea, Giselle dials Nick's number again. He answers on the second ring, "Carter."

            Giselle says, "Hi."

            He clears his throat and says, "Umm, hey."

            Letting her anger take over, she says, "Did you finish with her?"

            He sighs and says, "I'm sorry Giselle."

            Pissed at herself for letting her heart beat quicken at his apology, she says, "I don't care Nick. I just don't give a flying fuck at the moment."

            On the defensive, he says, "I didn't meant to..."

            She snaps, "Shut up Nick. I just called to tell you...I'm pregnant."

            He stammers and groans in disbelief before saying, "Is it mine?"

            She hisses into the phone, "You're the only guy I've been with Nick. Who the fuck else COULD be the father?"

            Nick grumbles, "Don't get your panties twisted. We'll just...deal with it."

            In disbelief, she says, "Who says you get a vote? This is MY body and MY baby and I'll do what I think is best." She ends the call and throws the phone, dissolving into a fit of hysterics.  After she calms down, she sits down and thinks long and hard about the choices in front of her. What should she do?

            Fate made that decision for her.  Two weeks later, at her first appointment with her OB-GYN, she's ushered into an exam room and once again had blood work, a pelvic exam, and finally an ultrasound.  The technician doesn't say a word.  Giselle lies patiently waiting for the tech to make some kind of comment. Instead, she puts the wand back on the machine, wipes the gel from her stomach and goes out the door. 

            Five minutes later, the doctor comes in looking at her chart. She sits down and says, "Giselle...there's no easy way to say this."

            Giselle feel fear gnawing at her gut. She says, "What?  What is it?"

            The doctor says, "I'm sorry, Giselle, we can't...find a heartbeat."

            Giselle just stares at her.  Finally she looks down at her stomach and says, "The baby's gone?"

            The doctor nods and says, "I'm so sorry.  Sometimes...it happens. There's no reason why..."

            Giselle nods, feeling numb, and says, "What...now?"

            The doctor says, "I recommend and D & C.  You can, of course, just let it happen naturally, but...it's a pretty rough thing to go through unless someone is there with you."

            Giselle lays back and lets the tears fall. She whispers, "When?"

            The doctor says, "Naturally, it can happen any time. If you want me to take care of it, we can do it tomorrow.  It's...your decision." When she doesn't say anything, the doctor says, "Do you want to talk to the baby's father?"

            Sniffling, Giselle says, "No. He doesn't care. Just...just do it. Please. I can't...I don't have anyone here that can help me if..."

            The doctor cuts her off and says, "We'll do it tomorrow, Giselle. I'm really very sorry."

            Cupping her stomach with her hands, she whispers, "Me too."

            A week after the procedure, Giselle gets a phone call she doesn't expect.  AJ.  When she answers, he says, "Hey, Elle, what's shaking Baby?"

            He sounds so strange, she says, "AJ? Is that you?"

            Laughing, he says, "Of course it's me! Did you expect Nick?"

            She sighs and says, "No. Nick and I are through." She hears ice tinkling in a glass and says, "AJ are you drunk?"

            He chuckles and says, "Fucking A I am. Why, you wanna get drunk with me?"

            She says, "No. What do you want AJ?"

            He snorts and says, "Wanted to tell you those pics were HOT! I can't believe you let Nicky take pics like that. DAMN girl!"

            Confusion laces her voice. "Pictures? What pictures?"

            Another tinkle of ice against glass before he says, "You know the one's where he was fucking you doggy style. I think half the crew got off looking at your tits."

            She closes her eyes, tears seeping from the corners. "Why?  AJ, why? Why are you doing this to me?"

            He snorts and says, "I just called to say I told you so. I knew he was being a prick but you wouldn't listen."

            She sobs and says, "I can't believe...AJ what in the world are you trying to do to me?"

            He says, "Nothing. Not a damn thing. I just...FUCK, never mind."

            Whispering, "AJ...what?"

            Slamming down his glass, he says, "Congrats on the baby. Nick will be the best kind of Dad. Always gone."

            She whimpers and says, "No need to worry about that, AJ. I lost the baby." When he doesn't reply, she hangs up. Closing her eyes, she sits on her bed and puts her head on her knees sobbing. She lost her baby, she lost Nick, and now she's lost AJ. It's only a matter of time before she loses everything.