Every Road Leads Back

By Dottie

Copyright 2012

Chapter 22

            After talking to Grant, he agrees to help AJ get into a facility after the wedding. Until then, he's staying at their place too, so they can keep an eye on him.  Twelve hours after he showed up, he's visibly going through withdrawl. Grant calls and has the hospital open a room for him to detox.

            Giselle goes with him to the hospital. She knows he's scared. They won't let her go in with him, but they give them privacy to talk before he goes in. She holds his hands and says, "AJ, remember, I'm always here for you. OK?"

            Even though he's shaking, he nods and says, "Elle, I love you. And when I get through this, I'm going to make up for not being there."

            She smiles and hugs him, kissing his cheek. She whispers, "Do what they say AJ. I need my date for the wedding."

            He kisses her cheek and says, "First dance is mine." Before she can walk away, he says, "Elle...Don't...be careful around Nick, ok?" She nods, blowing him a kiss before walking out.

            AJ spends almost 2 weeks at the hospital. Even though the detox really was only supposed to last 3 days.  He shows up at Grant and Kendall's the night before the wedding and it's easy to see he's uncomfortable in his own skin.   He has dinner with them, but barely eats.  After the dishes are done, Grant packs a small bag to stay overnight with his brother.  Kendall's going all out on the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding.

            After he's gone, she hugs AJ and Giselle both, thanking them for being there for her then she goes to bed. Giselle watches AJ. She can tell he's still not himself. She says, "What do you want to do?"

            He says, "Find a bottle."

            She says, "Since that's not happening, what ELSE do you want to do?"

            He chuckles and says, "I'm really tired. But when I sleep I dream."

            She scoots closer to him on the couch and says, "Want me to stay with you? Keep the dreams away?"

            He chuckles and says, "Giselle, women ask to sleep with me every day, but not to keep away bad dreams."

            She blushes and says, "I'm not a groupie McLean."

            He hugs her and says, "Hell no you're not."  Before she can make a comment, his phone rings. When he looks at it, he frowns before answering with a somewhat subdued, "Yeah?"

            After a few some tense seconds, he says, "No, you have to stay at a hotel. You can't stay here."  Then it dawns her.  It's Nick. Even though it's been years, she has to struggle to keep her bruised heart in check. She listens as he says, "No, Nick, I'm done.  I'm not touring again till I straighten myself out. Maybe you should..." A lengthy pause. "No, dammit Nick, this isn't about you, you sick fuck. YES I still want to kick your ass and when I get over this, I damn sure might!" He hangs up and tosses his phone aside. Looking at Giselle, he says, "Sorry about that."

            She shakes her head.  "What's wrong?"

            Snorting, he says, "Same as always. Nick wants someone to hold his hand and kiss away his boo boos. Time he wakes up and realizes he's got to fix himself."

            She just nods.  They sit quietly a few minutes before he asks, "You gonna be ok around him?"

            She shrugs. "I want to say I will, AJ.  But I don't know. I...he meant a lot to me and I never had a chance to...process what happened."

            He hugs her close.  "I'm sorry Elle. What can I do?"

            Snuggling on his chest, she whipsers, "Don't leave me again."

            He kisses the side of her head. "I'm sorry Giselle."

            The next morning dawns overcast and gloomy.  Kendall is thoroughly depressed about the weather, but Giselle and AJ won't let her stay gloomy.  They play music loudly as they make breakfast together. 

Just as they sit down to eat, the doorbell rings. Kendall runs to get it, her squeals of delight ringing throughout the neighborhood when Meagan and Brian step through the door.  As Giselle runs in to greet them, Brian spies AJ. He walks over to him and says, "Dude, are you ok?"

AJ shrugs as Meagan comes over to hug him too. He smiles and says, "It's not been THAT long since you saw me Meg."

She shrugs and says, "ARE you ok, AJ? You look pale."

Kendall says, "Come on, join us for breakfast and we'll talk. I made a spinach quiche."

And talk they did. AJ never realized how much he could depend on his friends to help and not judge him. Brian offered to take AJ to his hotel while the girls did the whole pre-wedding thing, mani's, pedi's, hair, and make up.

After arranging to meet at the church, the boys leave and the girls settle down for a little girl chat before the nail tech arrives. Meagan starts it off by saying, "OK, I know what you've been up to Ken, what about you Giselle? You won't talk to me on the phone much."

Giselle blushes.  "I'm sorry Meg.  I lead a boring life. It's much more fun to hear about you and your adventures with Brian."

She blushes and says, "Well, if you're available in a few months, there's another wedding for you two to stand up in."

When she flashes the diamond, they all scream. Giselle joins the group hug, even though she's feeling down. She's thrilled for her friends, but deep down, they have what she wants most. True love.

Once they calm down again and Giselle and Kendall finishing oohing and ahhing over her HUGE ring, Meagan says, "Seriously, Giselle...are you ok? Umm, Nick told us...about the baby. I wanted to come but you kept telling me to stay away."

Giselle curls her legs up under her body and says, "I wasn't really up for company, Meg. It wasn't you. What I needed most was Nick to grieve with me, but he didn't care.  It took a long time for me to admit to myself he never did."

Meagan says, "Maybe I shouldn't tell you this, but I think you need to know...he was upset too, Giselle. He...confided in Brian a few times that he fucked up big time and you wouldn't let him fix it."

Giselle's mouth drops open. "He never called, Meagan. He had my number and he knew where I lived...if he missed me so much, if he was so upset, why didn't he call?"

Meagan says, "But I thought...he said...oh that lying piece of SHIT!"

Giselle and Kendall stare at her, amazed by her outburst. Then Giselle starts laughing.  She laughs so hard, she has tears in her eyes. The other girls watch her in shock, before their laughter joins hers.

When she catches her breath, Meagan says, "Giselle...I really thought he cared. I'm sorry."

Giselle shrugs and says, "He's shown his true colors, Meg. He made his choice."

Kendall says, "But you still care about him, don't you Giselle?"

She nods faintly. "He was my first. First love, first lover, first heartbreak. Hard to get over that."

Kendall says, "He was also the father of the baby you lost."

At the mention of her baby, Giselle's lip starts to quiver. The girls move in closer, barely hearing her whisper, "It hurts so much!"

Just as she collapses, sobbing, the hair dresser and nail tech shows up. Kendall shows them where to set up while Meagan lets Giselle cry it out.  When she's all dried up, Giselle whispers, "I'm sorry."

Meagan says, "Why? Giselle, you're supposed to be sad about the baby. And about Nick. The only way to get over it is to experience the grief and you always push it away.  You've been that way your whole life, Giselle. All you gotta do is let it go. Then the hurt will fade...you'll always miss what you never had.  Then someday, when you least expect it, the time will be right and God will give you your baby.  He or she is just waiting until you find the RIGHT daddy."

As they sit through having their nails done, their hair styled, and their makeup applied, Giselle thinks about what Meagan said.  And she's right. She always bottles her emotions...keeping them in check. She's never really grieved and until she does, she'll never move on.

After the techs leave, Giselle and Meagan help Kendall into her dress before donning their own. When Kendall is dressed, Giselle stares at her in awe. Kendall's always been pretty, but in her wedding dress, she's truly a princess. After gushing over how gorgeous she is, Giselle and Meagan get dressed.

While Kendall always said she wanted a fairy tale wedding, she opted for a simple, clinging white wedding gown with rhinestones glittering on the bodice.  Megan and Giselle had simple, yet elegant dresses; dark vivid purple silk, with a scoop neck and backless.  Since the wedding is set for early evening, the dresses are long.  Giselle doesn't recognize herself when she's dressed.  When she walks, her leg pushes through the thigh high slit, making her feel sexy. A feeling she's never really had before.

After sliding on her four inch silver heels that match the sliver beading around the waist of her dress, she goes to check on Kendall. When Kendall sees Giselle, her mouth drops open. Meagan is waiting with Kendall and has the same reaction. Giselle starts to feel self-conscious and says, "What?"

Kendall finally finds her voice and says, "Giselle...I've never...you look...WOW!"

Meagan says, "I agree, Giselle. You look amazing."

Blushing, she brushes away the compliments and says, "Stop it, it's just me. This is Kendall's day. No one's gonna be looking at me."

            Oh how wrong she is.