Nick’s pov –

The brain is very fragile. I honestly think I’ve always known that. My life however has not called me to give it much thought. Recent events however have changed that. It’s been brought to my attention that not only is it fragile but it’s made nearly entirely of memories. Those memories make and define us. They create who we are, how we react to things, what we say and how we relate to other people. Without even one memory we can’t fully be ourselves.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. I haven’t lost a memory. My friend did. He lost the memories of nearly half his life. I’m left having to watch him struggle to cope. There is nothing I can do to help him or make this struggle easier. The hardest part is knowing that it’s all my fault. I’m the reason he is hurting and fighting not to give up completely.

I can still see the events leading up to this in my mind. The entire scene just keeps playing over and over. It’s like a nightmare I can’t seem to wake up from. Each time it starts I pray that something different will happen but it never does. It’s always the same thing. My friend… he ends up hurt.

We had arrived at our next stop on the tour a day early. Normally the fella’s and I would take full advantage of this and spend alone time with our wives or girlfriends. This time however I had the bright idea to do something just us four. I kept bugging them until somehow the four of us ended up alone in a rental van. I landed in the driver’s seat. Our destination was a restaurant a hotel worker had told us about. She had explained that it was the best spot in town.

With Brian in the seat beside me and AJ in the very back Howie took the seat directly behind me. A few minutes later we found ourselves lost. I drove slowly inspecting the name on every sign and building while AJ looked it up on his cell phone.

“Who let Nick talk us into this anyway?” Howie teased.

Brian laughed and patted my back, “I still love ya Nickers.”

“Alex to the rescue… again!” He boasted crawling over the seat.

“Here just gimme the phone and get back in a seat.”  Brian said.

I could hear him undo his seatbelt and out of the corner of my eye I saw him turn.

Then I heard Howie yell, “Nick! Red light!”

The next thing I remember is hearing tires squeal, metal crunch and glass shatter.  After that everything went black.

I came to as blue suited men were loading me into an ambulance. I could feel a bandage being held on the right side of my face. Everything hurt, bad.

“My boys?” I questioned as I remembered what happened. I thought nothing of myself.

“You’re gonna be just fine.” Someone told me.

“I don’t care. Uhg! How are my friends?” I fought through pain to speak.

“Some broken glass cut your face. You’re gonna need stiches.” Another person said.

No matter how many times I begged for someone to tell me about my band mates they just kept telling me about myself.

What seemed like hours later I was surrounded by nurses and doctors in a hospital. My concerns were still being ignored as everyone worked to treat me.

“Mr. Carter, everything is gonna be ok. The doctors are gonna put you to sleep so they can do a MRI to make sure there is no internal trauma. They’ll stich you up while you’re out too.” A sweet looking nurse assured me.

I grabbed for her hand and with tears in my eyes pleaded, “My friends, please, are they ok?”

“I don’t know. I’ll find out and tell you when you wake up. I promise.”

Soon after that everything went black again.

This time when I came to I was in a hospital room. I was sore. My face stung but I seemed alright.

It took me a moment to remember everything but when I did a panic washed over me. I began hitting my call button over and over.

Suddenly the nurse from before came rushing into the room.

“Mr. Carter, you’re awake.” She sounded positive as she rushed to monitors I was hooked to.

“My friends, you promised.” I told her.

“Mr. Dorough has a slight concussion but is just fine. He’s already been released and is in the waiting room. Mr. McLean is still in surgery. His left leg was shattered in the crash.”

She stopped there.

It scared me.

“Brian, What about Brian.” I tried not to cry.

“He’s… hanging on.” She sounded… not good.

“Hanging on?” I asked. I felt terrified, more so than I ever had.

“He was found outside of the vehicle. He went through the window. He has been placed in a medical coma. He has major brain trauma and need to be sedated to better heal. Doctors won’t know anything until he wakes up.”

Tears poured from my eyes. My world… froze.

BRIAN’S POV –

I can’t remember anything other than waking up. I know as my eyes flutter open an overwhelming pain overcame me. I had never hurt so badly before.

Tears filled my eyes as the pain became unbearable.

“Brian?” I heard a female voice.

I couldn’t even open my eyes to look at who she was. I just let out a pathetic whimper.

“I’ll get the doctor.” I heard her say.

My entire body hurt; every inch of it. My head spun. I felt so lost and confused. Where was I and what was happening? Furthermore, who was I?

I heard my room become filled with people as I moaned more.

“The morphine should kick in any second.” I heard a male voice say a bit later.

He was right, soon the pain began to leave and my head hurt a bit less.

With the pain gone I was able think.

The lady had called me Brian. So I was Brian.

Brian? Brian? Oh yeah!

It hit me, thankfully not literally.

I was Brian Littrell.

My eyes slowly opened. A woman with blonde hair stood by my side.

“Brian?” She questioned me.

I took a few breaths. What did I wanna ask first? I had so many questions.

“Where am I?” I decided was a good starter.

“You’re in the hospital. You and the guys where in a bad car crash. You’ve been in a coma for the last two weeks.” She explained.

I paused and let what she said sink in. Bad car crash… I couldn’t remember any of it.

The guys? The guys? She said, the guys.

It took me a moment but then I remembered what she was referring to.

“The guys?” I questioned. “How are they?”

I was assuming she meant my band mates. We had always called each other ‘the guys’ or ‘the fellas’. If I had been in a coma for two weeks I could only imagine how they were.

I braced myself as she began to speak.

“Nick is just fine, he had to have some stiches but nothing too bad. How has a slight concussion but is expected to be ok with some extra rest. AJ…” She paused. It made my heart skip a beat.

“His leg was shattered. He had to have surgery. He’s doing much better but, recovery is gonna take a good while.”

She stopped.

Why did she stop? There was one more guy… at least … I hoped there was.

Tears began to form in my eyes again. I feared for the name she hadn’t spoken.

“Brian?” She questioned looking rather confused. “AJ is gonna be ok.” She seemed lost.

“But, Ke- Kevin?”

“Kevin? Brian, what about him?” She now sounded worried.

I felt rather lost. Even more so than I already did.

“How is he? You aren’t talking about him. Oh God, please don’t tell me he’s…”

“Brian, sweetie… He wasn’t in the van. He’s at home in Kentucky with Kristen.”

I didn’t understand. When more than two of us were together at one time we normally were all together. Why was he in Kentucky and… who was Kristen?

I groaned a little as the confusion became more then my brain could handle.

“Baby, are you ok?” She asked grabbing my hand.

She called me baby? Why was she calling me baby? I knew I was famous and a lot of girls loved me but… baby?

“Uh, miss, I think I’d like a different nurse.” I told her taking my hand out of hers and hitting my call button.

She looked at me hurt and confused. “A different nurse?”

A woman came into my room and began looking at my monitors. “Need more morphine?” She asked turning to me.

“No, I…” I looked to the other blond woman. “I’m sorry.” I told her and looked back to the new nurse. “She’s making me uncomfortable, can I please have another nurse? Maybe a male who isn’t a fan?”

She looked puzzled, “Mr. Littrell?” She questioned looking at the other nurse who seemed near tears.

They weren’t telling me something.

“I’m not your nurse.” The blond began to cry.

I felt alarmed now. I could feel my blood pressure rising.

“Mr. Littrell, this is your wife.”

My mouth fell open and my eyes looked between both woman.

“My, my my…” I couldn’t say it.

My head began to hurt again. It spun fast and slowly my vision blurred.

Then, I just only remember blacking out.