Chapter 3:

Nick’s pov –

I spent the next 18 hours at the hospital. Most of that time I was at Brian’s bedside. Anytime I tried to leave him he’d become nervous and upset. He’d start telling me how he didn’t wanna be alone and then beg me not to go.

The longer I stayed with him, the harder things became for me. Almost every hour a nurse would come in and check his vitals, give him meds and refuse to answer his questions. The refusal to answer questions really upset him. At some point they decided to give him a pain medication that would make him sleepy. I think they hoped he’d be easier to deal with if he was too tired to argue.

Seeing my friend get… well, drugged… was hard. The only good part about him being forced into a sleep was that it allowed me to step away with upsetting him.

During the times Brian was awake he’d ask me to tell him something funny that had happened to him or us over the years. It helped lighten the mood.

I just had to be careful not to mention Baylee or anything that would lead him to think he was a father. Leighanne had said the doctors explained if there was brain damage the news could send him into shock.

It was by far, the hardest time of my life.

I had never been very religious but I gotta admit, during this time I prayed that God would just allow Kevin to get here.

“Tell me something else. Something funny. Something about you.” Brian asked me.

I had honestly been avoiding tell many stories on myself. I had looked at the situation as a chance to redeem my reputation a bit with him.

“Uh, let’s see.” I began thinking from where I sat in a chair near him.

He shifted a bit trying to get comfortable in the hospital bed that had confined him too.

“There was one time; we were having an after party. I had been drinking and was getting carried away. AJ talked me into standing up on the bar. I was dancing like a fool and slipped on a wet spot. I fell right into the lap on this really hot girl.”

Brian smiled, “What did she do?”

“Rok, she slapped me so hard I had a handprint on my face for the next two days.”

Brian laughed and for a moment I forgot how bad the situation was.

Just as Brian began to speak again, we were interrupted.

A nurse knocked on the door, “Mr. Carter?”

I stood and Brian instantly looked nervous.

“I’ll just be in the hall. I won’t go any further.”

He nodded and I followed the nurse into the hall.

“Mr. Richardson is here.”

“Thank God.” I sighed in relief. This is just what I needed.

“We’d like you to catch him up on how Mr. Littrell is doing before they see each other. The doctor feels like He is doing very well and we want him to continue to do well.” She explained to me.

I nodded, “Right, yeah, there are a few things I’ve found upset him.”

“Exactly, if you could catch him up on all that we should be good.”

I agreed and walked back into Brian’s room. I wanted to give him the good news. I hoped it would mean I could leave. Seeing Brian hurting was so emotionally draining.

“What’d she want?” Brian asked me when I walked in.

“Kevin is here.” I told him.

A smile instantly formed on his face.

“Bri, they want me to go talk to him before he comes in and sees you.” I explained.

Instantly he looked upset. “Why can’t he just come in?”

“Brian…” I trailed off thinking, how do I make him understand without him feeling like a child.

“They are afraid that he’ll uh… get really upset when he sees you hurting so… they want me to just prepare him.”

I could really tell that he did not like the idea but he seemed willing to let me go.

“Just don’t take too long. I still feel really outta place and… I’m just uncomfortable being alone.”

I nodded, “I’ll hurry.”

After I said that I left the room quickly before he could respond. I needed to get away.

I walked down the hall of the ICU where Brian was still located. Before I could get to the waiting room I saw Kevin at the nurses’ station.

“Kevin.” I called to him softly nearing him.

“Nicky, hey.” He hugged him. I could sense his worry.

“I’m so glad you’re here.”

“How is he?” He asked looking around as if to see him.

I shook my head. How could I explain to Kevin that his cousin was messed up pretty bad? He’d know it was my fault.

“Nick please… just tell me. I’ve been worried sick.”

“He’s better than he was but… not good.” My heart felt as though it would beat outta my chest as I began telling him.

“How so?” his response was quick.

“He uh… his memory is… really bad. He doesn’t remember Leighanne at all. If anyone refers to her as his wife he gets agitated. The doctors are scared to tell him about Baylee so that’s off limits. He remembers the boys but it seems to be only the early things. He can’t remember you leaving or that he and AJ are best friends now. I think he’s stuck somewhere between 95 and 97.”

“Damn, ok what else?”

“The nurses come in every so often, they won’t answer his questions about what’s going on and he gets really upset. Talking to him about funny things that have happened calms him down.”

Kevin nodded. I could tell he was fighting to stay strong.

“Last I heard they feel like he’s doing well and want to run some test soon to see what’s going on with his brain.”

“Alright, anything else?”

“I think that’s all.”

“How are the others?”

“Howie’s gonna be ok. He has a concussion but he’ll make a full recovery. I haven’t been able to visit AJ. Last I heard they did the surgery and he’s doing better. Should be released soon.”

“And you?”

“Just a few stiches.” I paused, “You should probably get in there. He doesn’t like being alone.”

“Ok, we’ll chat later.” Kevin nodded.

I directed him to Brian’s room and watched as he walked away.

Brian’s pov-

So there I was, sitting all alone in my hospital room. I didn’t like being alone. Well, I don’t know if that how I really was but in that moment… I didn’t like being alone.

I wasn’t sure of where I was or what was going on still.

Also, being alone left me with only my thoughts and right now, my thoughts were on nothing but how broken I felt.

I hated this. I hated not even knowing myself. I hated God too. The way I saw it, he allowed this to happen. All of my brothers where fine or would be fine. I wasn’t fine. I wouldn’t be fine.

“Bri?”

Suddenly all the sad thought in my head went away.

“Kevin!” I cried cheerfully.

He rushed to my bedside and carefully hugged me. Tears of relief fell from my eyes.

“Hey buddy, Nick filled me in.”

He pulled away and I nodded a bit.

He seemed unsure of what to say.

“They told me you aren’t a backstreet boy anymore.” That, for me, was the most important thing to discuss.

“Yeah, I left the group a while back.”

“When?” I wanted to know.

“Uh, it was after we finished the never gone tour.” He looked so very aged from what I could remember.

I paused, I didn’t know anything about a never gone tour.

“Don’t remember that do you?” He seemed sad.

“I don’t.” I swallowed hard. I hated this even more now. Not only was my life seemingly destroyed but the lives of those around me seemed destroyed.

“It was in 2006.” He explained.

I looked away from him as the sad feelings and more rushed back. “Kevin, I hate this. I hate this so much.” My voice cracked. “I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“I wanna tell you that it’s gonna be ok but I don’t know that. I can promise I’ll be here for you in any way I can be.”

“Thanks.” I forced a smile.

We were silent for a while longer until he pulled a chair close to my bed and sat down. “So, Nick says he was telling you funny stories?”

“Yeah, he told me about the time you jumped up on top of the hotel and I got so scared for you that I threw up.”

Kevin smiled at me. It made me feel less upset.

“Did he tell you any stories on himself?”

“Just one or two.”

Now he smiled evil, “I got a couple good ones.”

“Tell me!” I had to hear.

“Well, there was the time I pushed him out of the hotel room in nothing but his boxers.”

I laughed.

“He stormed back in so pissed off and Howie was laughing so he smacked him.”

“D retaliate?”

“He turned all mad Latin man. AJ laughed so hard he almost pissed himself.”

I laughed harder.

A nurse walked into my room as Kevin began laughing too.

“You sound like you’re doing better.” She declared.

“Kevin’s here now.” I told her. Suddenly I realized I was acting as though he were some sort of teddy bear or security blanket. I hoped he didn’t mind.

“That’s great.” She looked to Kevin. “Your cousin loves you a lot.”

“Yeah, we’re crazy close.” He told her standing.

“Well, some good news… The doctor feels thanks to Mr. Carter and your cousin here that you are strong enough to handle some test.”

“These test will give us better insight on whats going on?” Kevin asked.

“Why I can’t remember things?” I added.

“That’s the idea. Now, I need to know if you think you can lay perfect still for a long period of time or should we put you to sleep?”

“No!” I shouted hearing her.

Kevin took my hand and squeezed it, “Calm down Bri.”

“You aren’t putting me to sleep! I won’t let you! I’ve already lost enough time. I’m not losing anymore.” I demanded.

“Alright Mr. Littrell, I’m sorry I upset you. You’ll need to be totally still though. Ok?”

“Yeah, whatever I have to do to stay awake.”

“Breath Cuz. You have to stay calm.”

I shifted my focus to Kevin. He was right.

“I know you’re really upset but your brain probably can’t handle extra stress right now. We’ll sort out all this stuff that’s got you sad and upset later. Kay?” He nodded.

I looked into his eyes, “Yeah.”

Suddenly I felt calm. He always had a way of connecting to me and getting through. Maybe it’s because we were family. I knew for sure I was glad we hadn’t lost that.

“I’ll be back to take you to your test in about half an hour.” The nurse said.

I never looked at her. I just said ‘OK’ and listened as she left the room.

“More Nick stories?” Kevin asked sitting back down.

“Yeah.” I smiled.