Nick lay in his hospital bed, staring up at the ceiling. He could feel his heart beating irregularly in his chest, could feel the machines doing their work, keeping him alive, keeping his blood pumping correctly. He held the oxygen mask to his face and felt his eyes drooping heavily. It was hard to believe after all this time waiting and worrying, he was finally going to have a new heart. He wondered what it was like, having a new heart, if he'd be able to feel the difference of it in his chest. He let his eyes slip closed.
The door opened and he peeked and saw Lauren standing in the doorway. She looked... he couldn't place what she looked. Something akin to panic rested in her eyes, although it was muted panic. She walked quietly across the room and took hold of his hand. She smiled down at him. "Hey," she whispered. He could feel her hands shaking.
Nick lowered the oxygen mask from his face. His lips were all cracked and dry and he had a strange pale-purple tint to him. Lauren bent down and kissed his forehead. "Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yes," Lauren said, "I'm just happy to see you."
Nick smiled, and took a few breaths from the oxygen mask, staring up at her. He knew she'd been worried about him - everyone had been, he'd gotten thousands of cards from fans wishing him well. "A new heart," he said happily.
Lauren's eyes closed for a moment, like she was trying to restrain emotion, then she smiled and nodded, "Yeah," she whispered. "A new heart."
Nick squeezed her hand. "I get to stay livin' with you baby," he said, chuckling weakly. "You can't get rid of me this easy."
"You call this easy?" Lauren joked.
Nick smiled and pressed the mask to his face. "Maybe not easy," he said, muffled by the mask. He stared up into her eyes. "I love you, Lauren," he said.
"I love you," she replied.
"I'm so happy," he said through the mask. His eyes started to drift closed again. "Aren't you happy?" he whispered.
"As the second farmer," whispered Lauren, sitting on a chair pulled up beside Nick's bed and resting her head against his shoulder, "The one who got the right answer." She closed her eyes, too, and listened to the beeping of the heart monitor.
Rochelle sat on a chair pulled up beside a bed, too. She reached out a shaking hand and took hold of his hands. They were cold. She felt like she was going to vomit. She let go quickly and stood up, stepping away. She turned her back, stared at the wall for a long moment. She closed her eyes. This was a nightmare, it had to be. There was no way that this much was happening this fast. She drew a deep breath. When she turned around, she coached herself, this was all going to be a lie and she'd notice something about this random stranger that would prove it wasn't him, that it wasn't right, that he was still out partying somewhere, that she could still be mad at him because there was a him to be mad at.
She turned around and her eyes landed on the half word printed on his left hand. Mon. She looked down at her own hand. Kee.
An unexpected thrill of anger coursed through her. "You asshole," she hissed. "You stupid... stupid asshole..." she moved over to the bed and sat down again, "How dare you do this. How dare you do this now." She closed her eyes and hot tears fell across her face. "I told you not to follow me, but you don't ever listen. I hope those God damn Jager bombs and blondes were worth it, you ass." She muttered. She folded down so her face was pressed into her palms. Her tears pooled in the lines of her hand. She looked back up at him. She'd half expected him to wake up, to argue with her, to try to apologize or explain himself.
He just lay there.
"How dare you die," she whispered.
The word was hot against her lips and she stood up and paced around the room again. She suddenly felt ridiculous, talking to him like this. She also felt guilty. Guilty for saying angry words at this, the last moment she'd ever see him. She paused, looking back at him from across the room. He looked small. She stepped over to the bed and stared down at him again, her eyes rolling across the features of his face - across his nose, his closed eyes with their super thick eyelashes...
She reached a shaking hand up and lay it across his cheek. "Alex," she whispered, her voice breaking. A fresh wave of tears slipped over the curve of her face and she felt like she couldn't draw enough oxygen into her lungs. His chest was still moving up and down, he was still breathing, but only because the machine was preserving him, keeping the organs inside functioning before they went on to save lives.
Rochelle drew a deep breath. "You are --" she paused, struggled, then whispered, "You were the most amazing man I ever knew." She steeled herself for the strange lifeless feeling and took his hand again. She held it so the tattoos spelled out Monkee and leaned down, laying her head on his chest and looking at the word. "I love you," she whispered.
Brian stood in the doorway of Nick's room, and Lauren slid her hand out of Nick's. He was asleep. She stepped into the hallway and pulled the door closed. Brian looked exhausted. Lauren drew a deep breath, "Hey," she said quietly.
"I got here as soon as I could," he said. "Nick said they found a donor?"
Lauren nodded, "Yes." She hesitated, "Have you talked to anyone yet?"
Brian shook his head.
Lauren looked around, "We should find somewhere to sit down," she suggested, her voice trembling.
"Leighanne is waiting over here, come on," Brian replied, and they walked together down the hallway to a small waiting area that they'd commendeered several times since Nick had been in the hospital. The room had a chest with board games that they'd played most of. AJ had written profanity on the Boggle set and left it that way last time they'd sat in there. Lauren felt her throat constrict and led Brian into the waiting room.
Leighanne was drawing a new fashion design on a sketchbook and looked up when they came in the room. "Good morning," she said to Lauren, a weak smile on her face.
Lauren nodded. She and Leighanne had never been close before, but ever since Nick was sick, Leighanne had been making an effort to be kinder to her. Probably because she'd been in Lauren's shoes before as the worried girlfriend.
"They do have a heart for him, right?" Brian asked, his eyes flickering with worry as Lauren sat and rubbed her eyes, letting out a streaming, sigh.
Lauren nodded, "They do." She swallowed. How could she tell him this? She looked Brian in the eyes. "There's... there's just something about the heart that... that I think you need to know."
"What?" Brian asked.
"Rochelle and AJ had a fight tonight," Lauren began. "She found him at a club drinking and partying and they had a fight and she left the club and came to see me..." Leighanne's eyes flickered, widnened, and she reached for Brian's hand.
"Okay," Brian nodded, "They fight all the time. He shouldn't have been drinking, but they fight all the time. What's that got to do with Nick's new heart?"
"Everything," Lauren said.
