- Text Size +
Message #13



His breathing was itching, wheezing between the tears and the screams full of rage and red emotions that made his nerves vibrate like they were fragile chords of violin. Cars speeded all around him, raising up a wind that was supposed to cool down the temperature but it met a high and strong barrier.
Strangers passed him without giving him a glance, everyone lost inside their worries and problems. He didn’t care, it had been a long time since he stopped caring about something or someone.
It hurt too much.
But that? That had been the last drop of a vase that was already full to the brim.
And that was the reason why he was walking so fast in a city he couldn’t recognize anymore, wearing only a thin jacket even though it was November, almost December, and the cold had started to take control over the air.
He didn’t feel it. He felt only the rush of fury raging inside him and it made him feel alive for the first time.

“I can’t believe he did this, Nick. I knew sometimes he went to the extreme because he cares and I’ve always appreciate him for this but... No, this... this is beyond the normal. This is beyond everything I can understand and brush off as concern. Concern about what? Does he really think that I would be alright and okay after only a month? It’s not like I’ve lost a friend or someone that I barely knew.
I lost you.
And to him, you were only a friend. Yes, a close friend but still he has someone to lean on, someone who can wipe away his tears and just be there for him. Who have I? You were that one for me. You were my entire world so I’m supposed to go back to who I was like nothing? I just can’t do that. That Brian died when you did, Nick. Maybe he had been buried with you. No, leave out the maybe. He had been.
But it’s not that. At least, not at all. That’s not the reason why I’m so mad. Do you remember how I was when I was mad? Of course you do. You were the only one who could calm me down. And you would it now. You would had chased me down, stopped me to go around the city like a mad man and talking to a phone that it’s supposed to be disconnected but still... I don’t know, I keep thinking that it’s only a prank. And maybe that’s why I’m coming back home. Will I find you there?”


Brian stopped at the traffic light, looking up at the black sky and the warning of a storm. Like the one going inside him.

“I’m mad at Kevin, though I know you’ve already figured it out. He... he slipped me sleeping pills because he was worried. And I get, I know I’m being hard to deal with right now but he doesn’t understand what he put me through. Every night, every single night I had to watch you die and listen to wyour agonizing screams without being able to do something or to wake up. I couldn’t escape. I could only stand there and watch those flames. Every single night, every single time I fell asleep.
You know what he told me? He told that he was doing it for my own sake! He said that he was worried of my health and that he didn’t want to lose me too. He said something about me not reacting well. Well, today I reacted. I’ve told him all the things that I thought of him and his need to always try to control other’s lives. My life.
I don’t need his advices. I don’t need his trying to help me. I don’t need to be helped.
I just need you. And there is only one place I need to be to get better.”


Their home still stood in front of him like nothing had happened, like time hadn’t gone by. It was like it was just waiting for its owners to come back and bring it back to life.
But when Brian opened the door, nothing happened.
It still remained empty and dark.
Cold.
But it was still home to Brian. It was still their home and it was enough for him to close the door behind his back.