The house was in the same conditions it had been when Brian left it some weeks before, as if time had decided to stay out of the door and wait patiently for someone's return before starting again to run its curse even within those walls. Everything was silent, except for the windows that kept being slammed by the wind; everything was wrapped up in a grey blanket, the same that had possessed Brian since the day that hell had started. His fingers found themselves again dialling rapidily that number he hoped it could be available again instead than being disconneted.
«I thought... I hoped to find you here, Nick. I know it's stupid, I know it's irrational but I'm hanging out to this illusion just so I won't sink down in the nothing. Just like this house. For a moment, I thought I had mistaken the address because this house, our home, has never been this silent. Or so dark. When we used to go out, you would always leave a light, or the television or the stereo on. And when I tried to tell you something about it, you would just laugh telling me that we could afford to lose some money over things like these. This time... this time isn't like that.»
On his right there was the living room, the dining room was just a few meter ahead, both of them in the same conditions Brian left them.
«The table is still set. There are still the candles, even though they are already burned. There are still the plates. I chose to use the one that you had got me once, even though you couldn't understand why we needed two different sets. But those... those were for the special occasions and that night was supposed to be... was supposed to be special. That was the reason why I asked you to go out, that's why I asked you to go and buy things I didn't even need. It was an excuse, it was just a trick so that I could have only an hour to get everything ready without you wandering around and questioning me about what I was cooking and why. I cooked your favorite meals. I was...»
The realization hit him straight in the chest, bringing him to his kness to try to regain breath and prevent to fall down. But air didn't dare to come, it ran around him like it just wanted to make fun of him.
«... no, no, no... I... why... I shouldn't have asked you that. Why did I do that? If I haven't... If I haven't asked you to go out, you you would be here. Alive. You would be here, pinching me and reminding me that it's just a nightmare. - Brian laid a hand on the floor, falling and resting his back on the hard and cold tiles. - It's all my fault. Nick. It's all my fault. That's why you aren't answering me, that's why there is this emptiness that doesn't want to disappear. It's all my fault and that stupid idea to surprise you. Why did I let you go out? It was raining, it was supposed to be a storm and what did I do? I've let you go out, I'm the one who sent you in that damn accident! You didn't even want to go out. You only did it for me. I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...»
His pleas drifted away from his lips, meeting the tears before they were all dried and kidnapping by that balck hole that had always took his soul.
Chapter End Notes:
Yes.
It's really me. :O I really updated it! Yay!!
And I wanna thank ArynjaT for giving me back some motivation to get back into translating. Thank you!
It's really me. :O I really updated it! Yay!!
And I wanna thank ArynjaT for giving me back some motivation to get back into translating. Thank you!
