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Our friends finally made it back to the Milky Way, where they were met by a most shocking sight.

“What the hell is that?” asked AJ, pointing at the massive object that was hurtling toward Earth.

Following his line of sight, Kevin squinted and shook his head. “I don’t know. What is that thing?”

“It’s enormous,” breathed Howie.

“It’s the size of Texas!” Brian estimated.

“It’s an asteroid, guys,” said Nick, his voice flat and emotionless. “And it’s on a collision course with Earth.”

“What kind of damage are we-?” Kevin started to ask, but the grim look Nick gave him was enough to silence him completely.

“Damage?” Nick blinked. “Total, dude. It’s what they call ‘a global killer.’ The end of mankind. It doesn’t matter where it hits – nothing would survive, not even bacteria.”

The other Boys stared at him. “How do you know so much??”

Nick shrugged. “I’ve seen Armageddon.”

The guys exchanged glances, and Howie whispered, “My god.”

“What do we do?” AJ wanted to know.

“What did they do in Armageddon? We drill, of course!” decided Kevin.

So that was what they did. After making an emergency lancing on the asteroid, they began to dig into its rocky core. “We will make eight hundred feet! I swear to God we will!” Nick pledged, determined to dig as deep as Bruce Willis had insisted they needed to in order to blow up the asteroid in Armageddon. And using the power of prayer, pandaskunks, and a little pixie dust, they did make eight hundred feet. Into the hole they dropped the nuke Nick had just happened to have brought along in the cargo hold of his rocketship.

“Now we just need someone to stay behind to detonate it,” said Nick.

“You mean you don’t have a remote detonator?” asked AJ.

“Wasn’t it enough that I just happened to have a nuclear bomb? Sorry, but no, it didn’t come with a remote detonator.”

They all looked at each other, as the meaning of Nick’s words sunk in. Someone would have to stay behind and sacrifice himself for the good of the world. But who?

“Should we draw straws?” suggested Howie.

The others shrugged, no one wanting to commit.

Then a lone voice said, “No.”

The Backstreet Boys turned to see Patches the Pandaskunk step forward.

“You five have families waiting for you at home. I have no one. It wouldn’t be right for me to go back in any one of your places. That would make me a saaaaad pandaskunk. Let me stay here and detonate the bomb.”

“Patches, no!” cried Brian.

“Please,” insisted Patches, holding up his paw. “Let me finish. You all have given me so much: happiness… acceptance… a magical adventure through space. I’d like to give you this one gift in return.”

“But… Patches…”

Patches closed his eyes. “Every pandaskunk dies,” he said stoically. “Not every pandaskunk truly lives.”

“But-”

“I mean, we all gotta die someday, right?” Patches went on. “I’m the pandaskunk that gets to do it saving the world.”

“But how will we get home without you?” blurted AJ. “Nick’s rocketship is broken, remember? Without your pandaskunk powers of flight, we’ll never get off this asteroid!”

“Oh…” Patches frowned, scratching his furry head. “I hadn’t thought of that. I guess you’re right. You need me. Someone else will have to stay and detonate the bomb.”

“Wait!” yelled Nick desperately. “I have another idea!”

As he scrambled to find a way to stall, he heard a ghostly voice in his head whisper, “Use The Force, Nick… Let go…”

“We’ll… use… The Force!” Nick sputtered.

The other guys exchanged skeptical glances. “But... Nick. You’re not a Jedi,” Brian pointed out sadly.

“Yeah-huh! I went through Jedi training that day at Disneyland! The Force is strong with me!” Nick insisted.

“Whatever, Nick.”

“No, really! Watch!” Nick closed his eyes and channeled all of his concentration, an extraordinary feat in itself. “Help me, Princess Leia… you’re our only hope.” He projected the words with his mind, adding, on second thought, “And please wear your metal bikini.”

At first, nothing happened. But just as the Boys were preparing to draw straws after all, a small ship landed on the surface of the asteroid, and out hopped their savior, clad in a white tunic and carrying a light saber. “I’m Luke Skywalker; I’m here to rescue you,” he announced.

“Where’s your sister?” Nick wondered, though he supposed Princess Leia’s twin brother was better than nothing.

“Leia’s celebrating Life Day with Han and Chewbacca on Kashyyyk,” replied Luke. “She used our twin mind powers to send me here in her place.”

“What is this ‘Life Day’ I keep hearing so much about?” wondered Howie, scratching his head.

Nick rounded on him. “Seriously, dude? Star Wars Holiday Special – look it up!” Turning to Luke, he asked, “Hey, can I hold your light saber?”

“Maybe later. First, we must leave this desolate place,” said Luke. “Come, get into my X-Wing Fighter! R2-D2 is waiting!”

“Suh-weet!” Nick shouted again, punching the air with his fist.

“Wait!” cried Brian. “What about the bomb?”

“I will stay to detonate it as planned,” said Patches. “You don’t need me anymore. Luke Skywalker will see you safely back to Earth.”

Brian threw his arms around the pandaskunk, burying his face in the black and white fur. He couldn’t bear to let go, but eventually, the other boys pried him off, as Patches prepared to be lowered into the hole they had dug. Watching through tear-filled eyes, Brian whispered, “I love you, Patches.”

Patches gave him a sad smile. “I know.”

Then he descended slowly into the depths of the crater, hell-bent on detonating that bomb.

The others watched him disappear into the hole. Then they turned and trudged sadly toward Luke Skywalker’s X-Wing Fighter for the long journey home. They only hoped that their plan would work, that the pandaskunk’s sacrifice would pay off.

***