[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
February 17th 2006
“If anyone… asks me… what day it is… again… I’m gonna…” Brian growled as he jabbed his fork at the food on his plate with anything but precision.

“What? Murder your carrots?” Kevin supplied with a sly smirk. By now he was used to the time it took for Brian to finish a sentence. His cousin would say a few words, take a breath, think for a second, and then continue. Without a doubt, it took a lot of time and energy, but he seemed to get a handle on it as time went by. Kevin tried not to laugh as Brian threw him a death stare, while continuing to stab the orange vegetables furiously. He would get one on his fork eventually, but now that he was distracted, it would take a little while longer.

“Five times, Kev,” he snorted, “she asked… what day it was… five freaking times… in two hours… must think I’m retarded.”

“Nobody thinks you’re retarded, honey,” Leighanne submitted right on cue.

“I’m not,” Brian concluded harshly, effectively shutting down the casual conversation that had been floating around the table in a matter of seconds. Kevin and some others turned their attention to their own food, but not before he noticed the sad look on Leighanne’s face.

Kevin knew that she was trying to handle the situation the best she could, but it was getting increasingly more difficult as your husband’s impatience and frustration was growing stronger every day, you were noticeably very pregnant at the given moment, and you had to take care of a three-year old, energetic toddler on top of all things.

It’s why when he had told Kristin about the whole situation, she had immediately offered to help out with things. It had been a bit of a blessing for Leighanne, who now had more time to spend focusing on the unborn baby and getting some well deserved rest.

Leighanne and Kristin had never been the closest friends.

They didn’t hate each other, they just never really… got along. It was why Leighanne had felt a bit hesitant at first to accept the other woman’s help. Did she think she couldn’t handle things on her own here, she had asked.

Kevin knew about this, because Kristin never actually kept quiet. It was a women’s thing, he supposed, to just keep talking, while knowing you weren’t really listening. They often seemed perfectly fine with that, and just kept pouring the day’s events – most of which weren’t all that interesting- down upon you. Whether it was during dinner, at night in front of the TV, in the car, or just before going to sleep. They weren’t quiet. Ever. And gossip was their main and favorite topic.

Throughout the days, the two women had begun to trust each other more though. They had shared stories, and even a few laughs along the way. They had formed a team eventually.

So it was pretty obvious that Kristin immediately picked Leighanne’s side during dinner. She highly disapproved of the way Brian was treating his wife lately. Even if he didn’t really know what he was doing to her, it didn’t seem fair at all for Leighanne to just have to suck it up and deal with it. His complete lack of affection towards her might not be his fault, but it was still heartbreaking to see her sad, longing looks towards a man that barely even remembered his love for her. It would come back, Kristin had promised, it would take a while, but it would definitely come back. Their love had been strong, right?

It hadn’t been based on cheap standards such as sex or money, right? They even had a child, nearly two, together for Christ’s sake. No way a coma, caused by a dangerous overdose of drugs, could ruin such a kind of love, right?

Right.

There were days Kristin barely tolerated Brian’s lack of consideration for his wife. Or his angry mood swings. Or his endless negativism. At those moments, she reminded herself of the fact that he was Kevin’s cousin and that he had been through a lot. And surely, the PTSD that had now been diagnosed quite clearly didn’t help him much either.

Dear Lord, that boy had issues.

Kevin looked around after a few minutes of tense silence.

“So, I take it memory training didn’t go well today?”
“I’d say so,” Brian grumbled in response.

Kristin studied him intently for a few seconds. The discontentment was barely contained on his features and the repeatedly stabbing motions at his food were getting harsher and harsher. The light mood that had started dinner had been successfully turned in an unbearable tension, in which none of the people at the table dared saying one more word. They were probably worried a time bomb would go off. But Kristin couldn’t help it.

“So what day is it?” she asked, keeping her stern gaze directed at Brian. It didn’t usually take long for him to get pissed off, and considering he’d already had the mood of a grumpy old man, this time was no exception. His eyes narrowed dangerously as he stared back at Kristin.

“It’s Tuesday,” he hissed, his nostrils flaring as a warning for her to immediately drop the conversation.

The table went quiet for a few more minutes until Harold, who hadn’t said anything during the whole time they’d been eating, cleared his throat.

“Actually, it’s Wednesday,” he deadpanned, looking his brother straight in the eyes. Brian’s eyes got a little wider, and Kristin could distinctly detect a little bit of fear in them. Fear that he had been wrong about the day the entire time. It quickly vanished though as he slammed his fork down on his plate and clenched his hands into fists.

“No… it’s Tuesday… damnit!” he spat across the table at his brother. Harold didn’t even flinch at the raw, angry tone and just kept staring instead.

“Okay, okay,” Kevin said, rising slightly from his seat, “Calm down, you two. Harold, that was really uncalled for… Brian, yes it’s Tuesday, no need to curse. If we could all just continue dinner peacefully, that would be great.”

And because nobody ever really listened to Kevin, the stare-off between the two brothers continued. By now Harold had laid down his fork as well, glaring at his younger sibling. Brian clenched his jaw, breathing hard as he tried to contain the rage that was boiling inside him.

Actually, it had been boiling inside him for most of the week, but now that his brother had made such a dick move, it slowly got to a point he couldn’t hold back the fury that screamed for a way out.

Wednesday? Really? Ass...

“Screw you…” he hissed at Harold.

“No,” Harold shook his head, “Screw you.”

“Excuse me?” Brian asked, his voice shaking in anger.

“You know, you have single handedly ruined dinner for all of these people, all because of your God awful attitude.”

Breaking his gaze with Harold’s, Brian swiftly looked around the table. Most people instantly pretended to become particularly interested in their carrots and potatoes. After a moment, he stared back at his older brother again, challenging him to say another word to offend him.

Harold was on a roll now, “Kristin here,” he said, pointing at Kevin’s wife for emphasis, “she’s spent over an hour cooking this food so we could all enjoy it together, you know, as a family? And don’t get me started on your wife, man! I mean, she has taken care of your children and herself all week so you didn’t have to worry about it. Show some respect, dude. People are only trying to help you, you ungrateful idiot!”

“I don’t need their help!” Brian blasted, his hands shaking and with a wavering voice, “I don’t… need help.”

Harold scoffed sadly and shook his head, “You are so wrong, bro. I’m sick of your attitude.”

“Go to hell,” Brian growled slowly, his voice breaking. If only he could, he would have stood up, stalked over to Harold and punched him square in the nose. But all he could do was sit there and clench his fists in fury. It only fuelled his frustration even more. “You don’t know… what I’ve been through.”

“No,” Harold drawled, just as angry now, “No, I don’t. But that does not mean you get to sit around feeling sorry for yourself,” he said, slowly getting up. “Everyone’s life would be a hell of a lot easier if you could just cooperate with the people that are trying to help you, damnit. And if you don’t like the thought of needing help, you should have thought of that before you tried to kill yourself.”

It was like a bomb had went off. Like lightning had struck the middle of the dining table. Everyone stayed silent for what seemed like minutes, but was only about a dozen seconds. Harold instantly regretted what he said the moment he said it. It were the forbidden words. A truth apparently so harsh, so damaging that it was not allowed to be spoken aloud. Howie had tried to touch the subject before, and he had been exiled mercilessly for that. They couldn’t keep Brian in a safe bubble of blissful ignorance forever, of course, but going at it this way seemed a little brutal.

“I’m sorry,” Harry whispered, looking around the table in desperation. People stared back at him with looks of shock and disapproval. He had gone too far, he knew that. The stress of the whole situation and the lack of support from his parents had gotten the best of him.

Yeah… that was probably it.

Brian’s face was unreadable, but a solid darkness had settled in his eyes. The sharp stab of anguished betrayal he saw there sent shivers through Harry’s spine. He hadn’t meant for this to happen. And why was the world so screwed up?

“I-I didn’t mean that, bro, I’m sorry,” he said softly, seeing Brian lift his gaze to meet his. His younger brother nodded, almost unnoticeably.

“’m sorry too,” he mumbled, dropping his gaze to his plate once again.

“Okay,” Kevin started, his voice faltering only slightly, “I think that was enough testosterone for one evening. The two of you can hug it out later, but now we need to clean up the table, cause the food’s long gone cold.”

Harry nodded, grateful for Kevin’s interruption. He stood up, starting to collect plates and carefully trying to ignore his brother’s gaze.

The rest of the evening followed in a heavy silence, for the most part. Kevin and Kristin had gone back to the place they rented nearby. Leighanne tried to watch TV, every now and then throwing a glance at Brian’s closed room. He’d locked himself in, shutting everyone out and had made it pretty clear that he wanted to be left alone.

He had downright refused the medication the nurse had brought a little later.

Because pills were even worse than touching his arms, Leighanne had begged the nurses that came by once a day to give him anything but pills. They had been nice enough to replace some of the drugs to liquid or powdered versions, but others just didn’t work that way. It was hell to force them on Brian, but he knew that they were necessary. They had been fairly successful at getting the most needed ones down his throat.

But it was hell.

She knocked on his door a little later, steeling herself as she closed her eyes. “Brian?”

There wasn’t an answer and that didn’t surprise her. He might have already gone to sleep, but she doubted that. He was probably just sulking there in the dark. She wished he would just let her in and stopped trying to shut out the entire world. She took a deep breath and knocked again, “Brian, you need to take them,” she said softly, trying not to let the tears sound through in her voice. Not like he would really care, but she found that she needed to stay strong, no matter what happened. “Just open the door, please.”

“Just go,” came the short answer and she took a shaky breath, resting her head against the dark wooden door. She nodded to herself, quietly shuffling away from his room.

By the time she made it to the kitchen, she was choking back the sobs that begun to overwhelm her. Tonight had been a terrible night. The week had been a terrible week.

She leaned heavily on the counter, angrily wiping at the tears on her cheeks. Grabbing a tray from under the sink, she began rummaging through the paper medical bag the nurse had casually left on the table. Without a second thought, she began crushing some of the pills with the back of a spoon. She tried to control her breathing, feeling the sobs closing up her throat as she vigorously wiped the now powdered set of pills and scattered them into a waiting glass of water. No way in hell was anyone going to be able to get solid pills into Brian tonight.

And although it tasted awful, she knew he’d prefer the water a hundred times more over the pills. Finally finished with her job, she watched the powder slowly dissolve into the water.

Biting her lip, she wondered for the first time ever since they had gotten home if Brian wasn’t getting worse, instead of better. Sure, he could talk full sentences now.
He could pick up things and hold them in his hands without shaking too much. He could even walk very small distances if he put his mind to it. But his frustration and anger were terrifying at points, and his inability to remember crucial details from their lives were unnerving to say the least. He knew they were his family, and that he had lived a dream life as a popstar a while back. But he only knew that because they had told him so. By now, Leighanne doubted that he would ever truly turn back into the man she’d loved so much.

She shook her head. She did not need to be thinking about that right now. She smiled slightly as she felt the baby kick against her belly. She remembered when it had been Baylee instead of Wailon in there. Those had been different times. She’d had lots of support and love then.

Sure, her parents were helping a great deal now too, and Kristin was really a blessing, as it turned out. But all that didn’t make up for her husband’s seemingly lack of interest. She placed a hand on her stomach, her smile growing brighter as Wailon gave another kick. This was her baby, another human being growing inside of her. And it was like he was trying to comfort her by letting her know he was there for her and the sobs quickly subsided.

What did any of the rest matter when you could have such a miracle?

With the dreamy smile still on her face she walked back to Brian’s room, placing the tray with the single glass of water on the ground just in front of the door. She contemplated if she should say anything and raised her hand to knock on the door when she suddenly stopped, her fist still in the air.

There was a sound from the other side of the door she thought she would never hear again. A sound so soothing, so relieving that it caused the dried tears to start streaming again. She closed her eyes, letting herself become one with the soft, somewhat muffled, acoustic melody of the guitar in the closed off room. The sound of his voice was enchanting and she felt feather light as the relief poured over her like a warm shower. She had no idea what he was singing and didn’t recognize the melody, but unlike his spoken words, his song didn’t seem to cost him much effort and there wasn’t a single unnecessary pause in the lyrics as the song continued.

Wailon kicked again and Leighanne gave a choked laugh through her tears. Softly, she slid down the door until she reached a sitting position. Leaning her head back against the wood, she closed her eyes again, her smile still present.

Wednesday was coming to an end.