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Before: Sleep Cupping


Ashley

I woke up at three in the morning to feel Nick curled into me, his bare chest pressed against my back, his arm hooked around my shoulder and hand resting on my abdomen. He had his face pressed into my hair and the back of my neck, his breathing rhythmic and smooth. I lay still, just feeling him there, feeling safe and enjoying the warmth that radiated off of him. I was almost back asleep when I felt his hand shift slowly from my abdomen, under my shirt, and up to my boob...

My eyes popped open.

"What the hell are you doing?" I shoved him off me, sitting up rapidly.

I moved with such velocity that he was thrown off the side of the bed, hitting his head on the night stand as he flipped over and out. He made a noise akin to a large bull getting crosschecked as he hit the floor. "The fuck is going on?" he cried, and he sat up, his hair all messy and sticking up in weird places.

I sat there with the blankets pulled up to my chin. "You - you bastard, trying to feel me up..."

Nick scoffed. "Feel what up? You're a flatty, remember?"

"I am not," I snapped back.

Nick rolled his eyes, "I wouldn't touch you."

"You just did," I answered.

Nick looked surprised, "What?"

"You were cupping," I accused.

Nick shook his head, "I was not, you'd know if I was cupping you."

"I do know that you were cupping me!"

Nick snorted.

"You were sleep cupping, then," I accused.

Nick's eyes widened, "I don't sleep cup."

"You slept-cupped."

He stood up and glowered at me.

"Nick you were pawing all over my boobs," I said, exaggerating what happened only slightly, "I think I know what you were doing to my boobs."

His nostrils flared. I don't know why he didn't want to conceed on this, but he looked truly angry, and he set his jaw. "I wouldn't cup you," he said in a tone that sounded like I should probably take offense to it.

I did.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I demanded, "What? You don't wanna touch my boobs because they're somehow less boobalicious because they're attached to me?"

Nick huffed and rolled his eyes.

"My boobs are perfectly good boobs!" I shouted at him, "They're perky and squishy and they're perfectly centered and evenly distributed, unlike that girl you banged last week that looked like she needed a front end alignment."

"Her name was --" Nick faultered. He realized he had no idea what her name was. "She had great hair! And she had a mackaw, okay? That was her major drawback. Not the boob thing."

"So now you don't have follow up sex with people who have birds? Let's add that to your list of excuses why not to get serious with a woman! Because she has birds can join the ranks of moaned to loudly, offered me breakfast, and has adhesive ducks on the floor of her shower."

Nick glowered at me. "You fucking know how I feel about adhesive ducks."

"And you fucking know how I feel about smoking and yet you do it all the goddamned time around me." I rose up onto my knees on the bed.

Nick raised his eyebrow. "You're being ridiculous."

"I am not," I said.

"Look I'm sorry I sleep-cupped you or whatever," he said, "I didn't do it with my right mind. I wouldn't touch you with my right mind, okay? I'll sleep on the floor." I snuffled and watched as Nick grabbed one of the two pillows off the bed and threw it onto the floor. "I gotta take a pee," he announced and he disappeared up the stairs.

I sat back down on the mattress and grabbed the second pillow, hugged it to my chest, and stared at the door where he'd disappeared.

The bed was cold without him there.




Nick

When I got back downstairs, Dogface was curled up under the coversand my pillow was back up next to hers, the covers turned down on her side. I crawled in next to her, kept my back to her, and also curled up.

I lay there staring at the dark room, listening to her breath and feeling her body move up and down with her every exhale/inhale. I shifted a little, and she sighed and shifted, too.

I don't really know what it was I was feeling. It was something, though, something somewhere deep inside me. I turned my head and stared at the back of her, at the way her hair lay on the pillow. I wondered what in the world I would do without Dogface. See, a lot of people in the world think that Brian's my best friend, but that was never really true. I mean yeah he's always gonna be my bro and for a long time he was my best bro, but Dogface was always my best friend. Or maybe what she was went even deeper than that. I don't know if there's anything deeper than best friends other than maybe soulmates.

Dogface was always there for me when I needed her to be.

I guess what I was feeling was grateful.

I turned back away, staring off into the dark again, and she shifted behind me, and I heard her sniffle, and the blankets moved a little.

I sat up, and looked down at her.

"Dogface?" I whispered. She moved and looked up at me. Her eyes were blotchy and I realized she was crying. "Are you okay?"

Dogface nodded, "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded again and swiped her fist over her eyes.

"Then how come you're cryin'?" I asked. I lay down and held out my arm and she nudged over until my arm was around her shoulder and she was laying in the crook of it. She pressed her cheek against my shoulder. "People who are okay don't generally cry."

Dogface was quiet for a long moment. "Have you ever wanted for something so badly that you could almost taste it?"

I thought for a moment. "Like a sandwich?"

"No, not like a sandwich," she said, a tidbit of annoyance inching into her voice. "I mean like, something, something worth keeping forever."

I drew a deep breath, "Well, I dunno. I guess. I mean I wanted my career, you know? I wanted to be famous."

Dogface was quiet for a long moment.

I laughed, "I've wanted girls, you know? When you see that hot girl across the bar and you just know there's something there, something special, something... and you just gotta nail her all night long."

Dogface sighed a heavy sigh. "You're never gonna change are you?" she asked.

"I certainly hope not."

"Good night Nick," she said, and she rolled away.

"Was that it?" I asked, "That's all you were cryin' for? You thought I was gonna change?"

"No."

"What then?"

"Nothing. You don't get it."

"I can get it, if you explain it better."

"Nick, I could spell it for you and you wouldn't get it, so just forget about it and let's go to sleep before your mother comes down here and starts exfoliating my face or reconstructing my ears or something." She pulled the blankets up to her chin.

I sat there staring at the ball she'd formed under the covers. I sighed, and rolled back over, too, so we were back to back again.

"I think your nose is narrow," I said into the dark.

"Of course you do," she said. Her voice sounded funny.

"But I think it's perfect like it is," I added.

She was silent.

"And I like your freckles, too, also."

"Goodnight, Nick."

"Goodnight, Dogface."