[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Before: Just Like Any Other Girl


Nick

I milled around near the stairwell, sipping drinks and being wished Happy Birthday by every person that passed me by. I barely heard them, though, because I was thinking about Dogface and what had happened, what it meant, if it meant anything at all, and what this feeling was that felt like it was consuming me slowly. I didn't know what I was going to say, only that I needed to talk to her immediately.

A fan had caught me up in a conversation when Dogface came up from the stairs, followed by Eddie. She had on the dress I'd gotten her, and she'd done her hair real nice. Her eyes roamed around the balcony railing for a moment before they landed on me. Something in them was different than it'd been before, and I had a feeling it was me that had change it.

"Excuse me," I told the fan, interrupting her babbling, and shrugged by her, headed for Dogface. She looked up at me as I came to a stop in front of her. "Hey," I said.

"Hey."

Eddie stood there like a third wheel for a moment, then he said, "Well, you kids have fun," and ducked away quickly.

Dogface took the drink out of my hand and downed the rest of it.

"We need to talk," I said, as she handed me back her empty glass.

She nodded.

"C'mon." I took her by the hand and glanced back at the VIP booth. Eddie had joined them and Chris was telling either another story or a joke or something that had the girls he'd managed to hold onto at the booth laughing. I guided Dogface the opposite direction and we ducked behind this big statue of a flying pig to the side. I leaned against the wall so I was completely blocked by the pig. "Okay. So. About before."

She grabbed a bit of her hair, pulling on it, running her fingers through it and over it. "It didn't mean anything, Nick," she said.

"What?"

"The sex," she said, shrugging, "It didn't mean anything."

I blinked at her a couple times. "It didn't?"

"No," she said. She laughed, "Look, I can tell you're really uncomfortable thinking that I'm expecting some grand gesture from you, but don't worry about it, okay?" She smiled, "Nick, you don't have to follow up with me, it's okay. It was just a one-time thing, all's forgotten."

"Okay," I stammered.

"Everything's just gonna go back to the way it was is all," she added.

"Okay," I said.

Dogface smiled. "It was nice, though, you did good soldier." She turned and walked away before I could say anything in response.

I stood there and felt like I'd been socked in the gut or something. What the hell just happened? I took a deep breath. This was what I'd wanted, right? I'd wanted to sleep with her, get her out of my system, then have it all go back to the way it was, right? When I wasn't pegged down by one person and I could sleep with as many hos as I wanted to.

I wasn't sure if I was trying to remind myself or convince myself.

When I stepped out from behind the pig statue, the girl that I'd been talking to before Dogface got there rushed over, as though wanting to make sure nobody else got me before she had finished with me. "Is that your girlfriend?" she asked.

"No," I said. It felt weird saying no after what had happened before. You got exactly what you wanted.

"No?" the girl looked around us, then sidled closer to me. "No girlfriend on your birthday?" She made a pouty face, looking up at me with doe eyes and putting her finger on her lower lip seductively, "But who will give you your thirty-three spankin's?"

Her lips were so moist and red and she lowered her finger and just stared at me, those lips of hers right in my face... so I kissed them. I'd hoped as I swan dove into her face that the weird feeling lingering inside my gut would disappear, but it didn't, so I pushed the girl into the same corner where I'd been with Dogface beside the pig statue and I pressed her against the wall and my hands roamed over her, my mouth moving from her mouth to her jaw to her neck to her shoulder to her collar bone. I touched her breasts, her back, her ass, even ran my hand slowly along her thigh. I was trying desperately to find something - some sort of off switch or something - that would kill the ache in my stomach.

"Oh Nick," the girl gasped, and I slid my hand up her dress, pushed my fingers into her underwear even. She moaned into my ear.

Suddenly I heard a cry like a wounded animal from behind me, softer than the girl's moans, but sharp enough to slice through me.

I turned around.

It was Dogface.

She stood there with her jaw dropped, her eyes wide, her breaths coming out short, fast, loud, and shocked. Her lower lip moved, like she was trying to form words, but all that came out were squeaks.

I stepped back from the girl, whose skirt fell back down where it belonged. "Don't stop," she gasped from the wall.

"Dogface..." I started.

But before I could even begin a full sentence, she'd turned and run pellmell out the door that led to the stairs.

"Excuse me," I said to the girl for the second time, and I dashed after Dogface.

My heart was slamming. I couldn't believe I'd done this. I couldn't believe I'd just --- How stupid could I be?

I took the stairs two at a time, emerging onto the street just as Dogface was flinging herself into a waiting cab. She pulled the door shut just as I got there and I grabbed for the handle, but she'd locked it. I knocked on the window, the cab started pulling away, "WAIT!" I shouted, "Wait, wait! Come back!" I hollored, "COME BACK!"

But the cab pulled away, and though I ran a couple paces after it, there was no getting it back as it's tail lights disappeared among the sea of traffic.

"Come back," I whispered.




Ashley

I couldn't breathe.

I rolled onto the seat, clutching my stomach, heaving breaths making my whole body throb with pain. "Oh God, oh God," I sobbed. I covered my hands. The driver must've thought I was a complete nut job.

"Are you okay miss?" he asked, glancing in the rearview mirror at me.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I choked the words out.

"Did he hurt you, miss?" he asked.

Yes, I thought. "No," I answered, because I knew it would be taken wrong if I said yes.

The driver moved onward.

At the hotel, I told him to wait for me, that I'd only be a moment, and I ran up the stairs, past the gaggle of fans that were still standing outside. I rode the elevator to the penthouse and let myself in. The table that had been so beautifully set for us was still sitting there in the dark, the candles having extinguished themselves long ago, probably while Nick and I were... I couldn't even bring myself to finish the sentence in my mind. An hour ago, I probably would've finished it making love but now the only adjective that seemed to fit was fucking and I hated to think that was all I'd been to him.

Someone to fuck.

The record was still sitting on the table.

My stomach wrenched at the sight of it, at how special he'd made me feel when he gave it to me compared to how shitty I felt now. I ducked quickly into the bathroom and threw up, shaking and falling to the floor hugging the bowl. I'd been so fucking stupid to think that I could do this, to think I could sleep with him and not care, be 'friends with benefits' and not expect more. I should never have given in.

I'd destroyed everything I had ever cherished.

I'd broken the only family I'd ever known.

I couldn't stop puking. Just over and over and over again in waves until my stomach was empty and I just shook and seized and lay there pathetically, crying. Finally, I stood, shaky and weak, and I turned on the faucet, gripping the counter top for stability. I splashed warm water on my face. Mascara streaked my cheeks, my eyes were red and swollen. I grabbed the complimentary mouthwash and quickly gargled it, spitting into the sink. I took long, shaking breaths, staring down at the drain. Then I looked back up, swiped my mascara off my face with the back of my hands.

I went into the bedroom and took my suitcase, shoved my things into it, and rolled it back to the main room. I picked up the record from the table, staring down into Tom Petty's hazy, doped up eyes and sighed. "Why couldn't it have just been perfect?" I asked him. Of course, he didn't answer. I put it back down on the table. I couldn't bring it with me. I'd never be able to look at it or listen to it without thinking of this night and the unbearable pain that was now racing through my body.

I desperately wanted to break it, but I didn't quite have that much hatred in me. Although breaking something or punching someone would relieve a lot of stress, I thought.

I rolled the suitcase into the hallway and rode the elevator down to the lobby, where I dragged it back out to the waiting car, through the crowd of fans waiting out front for Nick to return. My eyes randomly met the girl's from earlier - the one who'd done bunny ears around the word girlfriend when I'd arrived and greeted Nick's security team.

"What's the matter, slut?" she called tauntingly my direction, "Not the flavor of the week anymore?" She pouted at me mockingly.

Her friend laughed, "I hope you got paid well, whore!"

I felt my muscles tighten. "Fuck you," I snapped, "Mind your own business."

The driver of the cab had gotten out and was loading my suitcase into the back. He now was glancing nervously between myself and Bunny Ears.

Bunny Ears took two steps closer, barely staying balanced on her ridiculously high stiletto heels. She teetered, jabbing her finger into my face. "At least I don't sleep with whoever it takes to get backstage. I know what sluts like you do," she accused, "I saw how you flirty and friendly you were with those security guards."

My jaw set. This bitch was going down. "FIRST of all, get your finger out of my face before I break it. Second, you trust me, honey, you don't have to flirt with no security guards to get Nick Carter to sleep with you. Just get in line. He'll do you all before the night's over. Don't worry, you've got boobs, he'll get to you."

The girl looked affronted. "How dare you," she said. And I'm not sure, honestly, if she was more pissed because I insulted her or because I'd insulted Nick. Seriously some of his fans would probably get equally upset over either.

"He might even let you cut forward," I said, "Considering you're dressed like a total hoochie!"

And she lunged.

I was just about to lunge back when suddenly Eddie was there between us, his arms outstretched, pushing us apart. "BREAK IT UP!" he bellowed louder than anyone as tiny as Eddie is could possibly yell. He pushed me against the cab and pushed Bunny Ears back. She stumbled and her ankle almost gave out in her mile high heels. "Hey now, break it up, both of you. Ashley, what the hell are you doing?"

"Oh doing the manager is more classy than doing the security guards, is it, Ashley?" Bunny Ears spat at me.

"Excuuuuse me?! Say what now?" Eddie looked at her, eyebrows raised, incredulous.

"I'm going home," I snapped. The driver ran back to the front of the car and jumped in, and I opened my back door and started to slip into the cab.

"Wait! Ashley, wait," Eddie jumped in the doorway, keeping me from slamming it shut. It hit his back. "Just give us like ten minutes, let's sort this out, hey? Nick needs to talk."

"He can talk to the girl he was playing with at the club," I said, "Or this bitch over here looks like his type." I waved at Bunny Ears who started to look pissed off again.

"Enough," Eddie snapped before she could start up again. He looked at me. "C'mon, Ashley, don't do this, you're overreacting."

"I'm overreacting?"

"He's right in the car here, Ashley, please," Eddie begged.

"Tell him he can call me sometime," I replied, pulling the door shut hard enough that Eddie was forced to jump out of the way, "Just like he calls any other girl he fucks."