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After: Kaleidoscope


Nick

The room exploded with activity.

And everything happened so fast from that point. It was like a kaleidoscope of color and sound and blood. So much blood.

Within seconds, Dr. Jorryn was joined by about fifteen other doctors and they were all jostling to get closer to Ashley first. I got shoved back and my fingers lost contact with Ashley's and I heard her crying out my name but there was nothing I could do to get over to her. I felt helpless, standing about three feet away as the doctors crowded around her, holding her plastic bucket with the blood and vomit in it. I put the bucket down on the counter, unable to stand the smell of it any longer, my heart racing.

"Please, God," I whispered, "Don't take her. Please." I closed my eyes. I've never been one for praying, but this, this was worth praying for on the off chance that someone was out there to hear it when I prayed.

Scary words were being tossed around. Words I didn't understand the meanings to. I've never seen so many doctors in one room before. I wondered if this is what it had looked like when I finally arrived at the hospital after the plane crash, those foggy hours between Dave the EMT and Cynthia the nurse. I wanted so bad to launch myself over the crowd of them, grab Ashley and run her to safety.

Of course, given recent events, I wasn't exceptionally good at keeping her safe.

"We'll have to open her up and get the baby out of the way, then we can stop the bleeding..." Dr. Jorryn was saying, and I saw Gideon getting a tray with scary looking tools and my heart about stopped.

"What's happening?!" I shouted, "What's happening!" None of the doctors heard me. They kept on with their frenzy. They were like pigeons in New York over a spilled pack of french fries from McDonalds. "Please!" I yelled, "Someone tell me what's happening!"

Suddenly the door banged open behind me and, of all people, Chris rushed into the room, breathless.

I looked over at him. "What the fuck is happening?" he asked.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I demanded.

"I had to know she's okay," he replied. "That I didn't.... kill her...."

I was about to lunge at him becaus it felt like the only thing left for me to do in this god-forsaken moment, when McKenna came running over from the clusterfuck going on around Ashley. "We need to get you boys out of here," she said in a rush.

"NO!" Chris and I both yelled at the same time. "I'm not leaving," I added, hurriedly, "I refuse. She's calling me."

McKenna's eyes were serious, "We have to open her up, this is already a really dangerous situation, your presence is only complicating things."

"Please!" I begged, "I can't leave her."

"And I can't go back out there," Chris said, thumbing over his shoulder.

McKenna looked at him, "I thought -- but they called --"

"You thought I was already arrested, right? Yeah. Well. I needed to see Ashley first."

"Arrested?!" I looked between Chris and McKenna.

"Yeah they called the cops. That nurse that came out earlier, she was bullshitting us. She was leading me into a fuckin' ambush." Chris glowered at McKenna. "I'm not leaving until I know she's okay. I can't wonder for the rest of my life in prison."

"Maybe you should, you fucking bastard," I growled.

"Boys," McKenna snapped, "I seriously need both of you to --"

"McKENNA!" Dr. Jorryn yelled, "Get over here! We need hands -- NOW!!"

She turned and bolted to the bedside. I heard a collective panic rise through the doctors. "What's happening!" I shouted, and I forgot about Chris because he didn't even matter at this point. My sole purpose in life was to get to Ashley. I ran for the bed, trying to push between doctors, trying my damnedest to get to her because it suddenly occurred to me, louder than any other noise in the room, that Ashley was silent.

"ASHLEY!" I yelled, "ASHLEY!"

But she didn't answer.

Then the ongoing beeping from that damn monitor stopped.

And the doctors all stepped back, hands up, and I heard Gideon yelling, "Charge it to two hundred!" There was a cry, but it wasn't Ashley's... it was a baby cry. And Dr. Jorryn ran past me to the corner of the room where there was a teeny tiny bubble of a bed, clutching something small and covered with blood in his hands. McKenna went with Dr. Jorryn. Gideon was holding up paddles, and the screen was showing one solid flat green line.

I could see her through the break in the crowd of doctors, her head turned to one side, eyes closed, mouth partially open like she'd been in the middle of saying something.

"ASHLEY!" I bellowed. "DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME!!"