[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Before: The First Time


Ashley

The first time Chris hit me was two days after my birthday.

I was in the bathroom, having just finished taking a shower, and I was blow drying my hair. Chris came in, anger all over his face, and he ripped the cord to my dryer right out of the wall. I jumped, letting out a yip of surprise as he got right into my face, holding up the phone, "What the fuck is this?" he bellowed.

"What the fuck is what?" I said back.

"Don't you get fucking smart with me, you know god-damn well what! How long has this been going on?" He threw the phone at my chest as I stumbled back from him. I looked down at the phone and saw Nick's number on the caller ID.

"He called me to say happy birthday," I said, "Which you never said, by the way."

"How long have you been talking to him?!" Chris screamed.

"I told you! He just called to say happy birthday!" I yelled.

Chris's face was a deep shade of red, almost violet, and he sucked his lips into his mouth, biting down on them in a way that reminded me of when Kermit the Frog gets pissed off. If he wasn't so damn angry I might've laughed. But there was no laughing as I saw him draw his hand back to strike. I was too shocked at what was about to happen to even begin to prepare myself for the first blow. His hand cracked across my face fiercely, so hard that I hit the wall and slid down it, clutching my face in the resounding silence that followed the sound of the hit. I sat on the floor, tears in my eyes, my face stinging.

"Oh fuck," he groaned as he towered over me. For a moment, I thought he was about to apologize. He knelt down and I thought for sure he'd pull me into a hug, comfort me, say he was sorry so profusely that I'd believe him and it would be forgotten. A one-time-only deal. Instead, he said, "That felt so fucking good."

I was stunned. I stared up at him, my jaw dropped.

And before I could stop him, he'd wound up and cracked me a second time. And a third... a fourth... I screamed and ducked, wrapping my hands up over my head, "STOP IT!" I shrieked, "STOP IT!" The tears were pouring down my face, which felt so raw from his hitting me. I covered myself with my arms, trying to block him, and he just kept raining blows on me one after another.

"Why the fuck don't you love ME?" he yelled.

"I do! I do! Just stop! Please stop!" I sobbed.

"Fucking LIAR!" He bellowed. But he did stop. He stood up and spat at the bath tub and stormed out of the room. A moment later the apartment door slammed, too, so hard that the apartment walls rang with the echo of it.

I rolled onto my side there on the floor of the bathroom, sobbing, my face raw and my limbs shaking.

"Oh my God, oh my God," I sobbed over and over, because I couldn't even wrap my mind around what had just happened.




Nick

I was on stage when a weird feeling came over me. I dunno how to describe the feeling, it was so abstract. But I knew something wasn't right. I looked over at Brian, who was closest to me and gave him a funny look. He raised an eyebrow and mouthed what's wrong?

I shrugged.

But the feeling wouldn't go away.

Then I saw Eddie off stage. He was waving at me, holding up my cell phone, and beckoning me over. I sang my line in the song and bolted to the side of the stage motioning to Howie to pick up my next line. I pulled my headset off as I got off the sideo f the stage.

"What is it?" I demanded.

Eddie held out the phone, "It's Ashley," he said, "She said it's really important or I wouldn't have pulled you off the stage."

I held the phone to my ear, blocking my other ear and ducking away from the speakers. "Ashley?" I called into the phone, my heart pounding, "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yes I'm okay," she said, but her voice was quiet.

I ducked further away from the speaker, straining to hear her over the sound of the screaming fans, the music, and the other fellas singing. "You sure?" I pressed.

"I just needed to hear your voice," she said, and the way her voice cracked I knew she'd been crying.

"Ashley, what's the matter?" I asked.

"Nothing, I just needed to hear your voice, Nick."

I didn't know how to respond to that, so I said simply, "Well, here it is..."

"It's a nice voice," she said thickly.

"You know you can hear it anytime you put on my CD, right?" I joked.

Ashley laughed, though it was a weak laughter, the kind when someone says something trying to cheer you up when you're profoundly sad. "You sound different though when you're my Nick than when you're the world's Nick," she said.

I smiled at the words. "Oh, so I'm your Nick now, huh?" I teased her.

"You'll always be my Nick," she replied.

Eddie was making motions for me to wrap it up and get back on the stage.

"Hey Ashley, are you sure you're okay?" I asked.

"Yeah," she said.

"Okay. Well I'm kinda in the middle of the show, can I call you back right after?"

She was quiet a moment. "Don't call my home phone," she said.

"Okay."

"Don't ever call the home phone, okay?"

"What?"

"We're disconnecting it soon, the company charges like per call and we can't afford to keep paying it so if you call my cell it's free."

I had never heard of such a thing before. "Okay, that's weird, but okay. Cell only... Got it."

"Thank you."

"Ok so I'll call you in about an hour, a'iight?"

"Okay. Promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay."

When we'd hung up I handed my cell back to Eddie. "If she ever calls again during a show," I said into his ear, "Even if she says it's not important, it is. Okay?"

Eddie nodded.

"Thanks man." I ran back out on stage, but all I could think about was Ashley.