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Author's Chapter Notes:

Brian's point of view is a lot harder than I'd expected. I did my best though.

Enjoy!

  1. Better

July 1993

“You’ve got any money?”

“I…well…why?”

“I’m hungry.”

Brian sighed. They had gotten through the night and now there was the ungrateful task of calling Lou and the others, that lay before him. He’d never been as reluctant to do something in his life, besides flying to Sweden. They’d decided that he should be the one to make the call, mainly because they knew Nick would probably screw it up even more than Brian would. There’s gotta be a first time for everything.

He truly felt like they were two brothers who’d done something bad and now needed to tell their parents about it. Only in this case, their ‘parents’ already knew what they had done. He’d been standing with the phone from the reception in his hands for quite some time now, not ready to make the call, and apparently, Nick was getting bored on top of all things.

“You’re hungry? What? You don’t think I’m hungry? First, we make the call, and then, if we survive, we can eat, kay?”

“Are you gonna make that call today?” Nick asked impatiently. Hopping from one foot to another. Apparently he had to go to the bathroom too.

“You wanna do it?” Brian offered agitated.

“Nope, not really,” Nick admitted.

“I thought so, now go to the bathroom, before you wet the floor,” the older boy instructed and watched Nick quickly hop away. Should be careful I don’t lose him again.

Taking a couple of deep breaths, closing his eyes and sending a quick prayer for support up, he dialled the number on the information sheet, holding his breath anxiously.

 

October 2015

He vaguely recalled someone on the phone talking to him. Someone he should know. It had just slipped his mind for a minute.

 

July 1993

“Hanlinson Hotel, how can I help you?” a lady with a thick accent answered the phone. Brian’s heart was speeding up and he felt like he was preparing for a marathon, feeling the sweat forming on his forehead. Nick had returned from the toilet and was looking curiously at him.

“Umm yeah, could you connect me to Lou Pearlman’s room, please?” He stammered, his voice quivering. He so did not want to do this.

“Of course, sir, hang on,” she said sweetly.

He felt the bead of sweat doubling on his brow and squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the end.

“Pearlman,” he heard a gruff voice say and he knew he would be dead in a few seconds.

 

October 2015

In his head, the sky was blue, but the mist lingered over the fields. In the worst case, the only thing he could make out were forms and nameless shapes. Sometimes, the fog would evaporate completely and he could see again. Most of the time, things on the ‘outside world’ couldn’t come all the way through the mist anymore and he was left in the centre, all alone. He dimly remembered a time when there had been more. When he wasn’t blinded by a constant pain in his head and he didn’t have to use all his energy to name the things that had once been obvious. It was like words slowly diminished from his vocabulary. Name’s he should know, answers he should give, lyrics he had once sung. It wasn’t like he didn’t remember them, it was just that he had forgotten what they were called or how they sounded, or who they were. Right now the fog was too thick to do anything but stare ahead and try his best to make out the dark, terrifying shapes that scared his mind.

 

July 2015

“Umm, Lou, it’s me…” he quietly spoke.

“Brian?” he heard Lou snarl incredulously.

“I… yeah,” he said, defeated. There was a brief pause and then the fire of words came, screaming in his ear, causing him to hold the phone at an appropriate range to not damage his hearing.

“Where the hell are you?! We’ve been searching everywhere!”

“I… umm… I’m at the airport.”

“Where?”

Orlando…

“What?!”

“I missed the plane…”

“You… and… what?”

Brian sighed, they weren’t getting anywhere. By now he didn’t think he’d ever get to Sweden.

“The plane to Stockholm? We kinda missed it…”

“Nick’s with you?! How on earth did you miss a plane? I even remember you were in the line with us!”

“I know, I just, I had to go to the toilet…”

He felt Nick looking up at him sharply and tried to smile at the younger Backstreet Boy. Nick only frowned back.

“You couldn’t wait ‘til we were on the damn thing?!” he heard Lou yell and he winced.

“I really had to go…” he tried to explain lamely.

Nick apparently couldn’t bear to hear it any longer and grabbed the phone out of his hands. “He’s lying! I’m the one that went to the toilet. I’d eaten some bad sushi before and… you know… Brian was just worried and came looking for me… it’s all my fault.”

Brian looked down upon the younger kid that had been so mean to him for over two months and smiled. Now they were even.

Chapter End Notes:
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