January 2016
Steeling herself for a while, she watched the sick man in the bed trying to break free from yet another nightmare.
What was she even doing here? He was better off without her, they all were. She should leave. He didn’t have to know that she ever came here. It would be better for everybody.
She winced visibly when she heard him cry out all of a sudden. What was she thinking? Without allowing another moment of hesitation, she walked over to where he lay and tried to soothe the feverish singer by stroking his cheek and whispering encouraging words. It wasn’t much, but it was better than leaving.
June 2016
The church was huge and crowded. TV cameras and newspaper reporters crawling all over the place. In a gone old past, she would have loved all that attention, even if it hadn’t been originally assigned to her. She would have found a way to throw herself in front of the cameras without so much as a second thought.
Now she did her best to go unnoticed as she weaved herself through the back of the church, trying to find Kevin and her son, who had gone in earlier. She saw the groom of the wedding talking nervously to his mother, glancing at the big church doors in the back every so often. It wasn’t much of a surprise that he was nervous, cause he’d been that way for almost the entire week, Lauren had told her.
It was one of the reasons they hadn’t told him about their little ‘surprise,’ cause if he knew, he’d freak out and wouldn’t be able to keep his mind on the wedding, and of course, if he knew, it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore.
She smiled ruefully, figuring he was going to freak out anyway.
“Mom!” Baylee called out and she looked up, watching her son strolling towards her with an excited expression.
“They here yet?” he wanted to know.
“No, I haven’t seen them yet,” she informed him and watched his face fall ever so slightly. Then he shrugged.
“Oh, okay, tell me when you see them.”
She nodded absently and focused her attention on the front of the ceremony again, frowning when she saw Nick standing there with a terrible lost expression on his face. He was staring to the doors now and as she watched the empty spot besides him, she knew why.
Just wait a little bit longer…
January 2016
She’d been hiding. In shame, she supposed. When Harold had called her a week ago, she’d been wanting to shut him out.
Why’d he have to do this? Didn’t he realise that he’d only make matters worse if he tried to contact her?
He’d made it very clear that he was not going to let her run anymore though and had ordered that she’d come and talk to him the next day. And she had. She’d told him everything, most of which he already knew, but he listened nonetheless. She’d poured her heart out, saying all the things she had never said to Brian. Harry had just sat there and listened, not judging, not taking sides. When she was finally done, he’d just nodded and declared that she had to remember what she’d said, cause she was gonna say it again, to the person who needed to hear it the most.
She’d asked him if he still believed that things could work out between her and Brian. He’d smiled wistfully, saying that it didn’t matter right now, that the only thing of real importance now was that his brother was surrounded by the people that loved him most, and that he believed that Leighanne was one of those persons.
Harry’s forgiveness had come as a welcome relief in her troubled mind and she didn’t hesitate when he invited her to come to the clinic.
There was a problem though.
When Harry had made her presence known to Nick, the Backstreet Boy had become absolutely furious. Two days in a row, he’d spend in the hospital room, denying her entrance as if she were some kind of infection that needed to be avoided at all costs. Maybe, in his eyes, she was.
She hadn’t really put up a fight, knowing Nick needed to calm down by himself and giving him the time to do so.
After those two days though, Harry had gotten so fed up with the younger man’s behaviour, he all but kicked Nick out of the room.
Leighanne didn’t really know where he went, but she was sure he was currently brooding somewhere, trying to think of a way to get rid of her.
She couldn’t exactly blame him. It was surely a risk, being here. Not that Brian had noticed. Not really. He didn’t seem to notice much anymore these days. He didn’t push her away, even if he should, even if that was what she deserved. It concerned her more than she’d like to admit, cause it made it very clear that Brian didn’t know who she, or anyone else around him really was at this point. He’d accept any kind of comfort from anyone right now, if only it made the pain a little less severe, a little less agonizing.
Leighanne had never really been able to figure out what the whole point of the new treatment was exactly. It only seemed to make things worse as she stared numbly at the struggling man in the overly large bed. She hadn’t really said much up to this point, knowing all the things she could say would only sound hollow, indifferent and wrong in so many ways. She’d shown him time and time again that she didn’t care enough to help him through this.
But she did care, damnit. She cared a lot. It wasn’t fair! If anything, she should be able to talk it out with Brian, make it up to him while there was still time.
But how much time was there, actually? The thought came as a shock. What if this was really the endgame. The finish. Do not pass go, do not collect 500 dollars, the end? What if she would never be able to set things right?
“Oh God,” she choked softly, feeling the tears slowly roll down her cheeks, “Please God, don’t let it be, please.”
Desperately, she took Brian’s sweaty hand in hers, “Please baby, it’s me,” she paused, her throat tightening in fear and sorrow, “I’m here now, I won’t leave. Even if it’s the last thing I’m going to do, I’m gonna stay here with you.”
She nodded to herself, making up her mind, and sat up a little straighter, a determined expression appearing on her face, “Just, don’t you worry about anything, alright? We don’t have to worry about what happened, it’s not important right now.”
She desperately stared at his face, hoping for a reaction, for some kind of recognition that he was even able to hear her talk. She received none.
“I-I just…” she stammered, swallowing, “I won’t leave you, you’re not alone. Not anymore,” she added, thinking about the overprotective Backstreet Boy that was thoroughly pissed off right now, “I mean, Nick’s here, and Harry, and the others, they’re on their way too.” Maybe it didn’t mean much when she promised she would be there for him, maybe Brian wasn’t actually that far gone, maybe he just chose to ignore her. She scoffed incredulously, knowing that that was only wishful thinking. But it calmed her mind just a little when she thought of all the support Nick, Harold and the others could provide, even if she couldn’t be there to give it herself, they would. “We’re all just waiting for you to be okay,” she whispered softly, kissing his temple slowly, hoping that the small gesture would take the pain away, even if it was just for a while.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Didn't really think I'd update this story, but hey, why not ^^
