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Chapter 20

            Heather woke up to the touch of warm, bright sunlight on her face. She blinked her eyes as she woke up. She rubbed her eyes then let her hand fall back onto Rich’s chest. For a second she forgot she fell asleep on him last night. She looked at his face and was relieved to see that he was still asleep. She rubbed her cheek on his peck. Her hand glided over the muscles that pushed against his shirt. It felt weird to run her hand down his torso but yet she really liked the feel of his muscles.

            As her fingers inched closer to his lower abdomen, Rich took a deep breath in and opened his eyes. Heather’s hand froze.

            “Good morning,” he said groggily.

            “Good morning,” she said kind of nervously.

            “Did you sleep well last night? You were zonked before the movie ended.”

            “I did sleep well. I usually don’t sleep that well during a thunderstorm like last night’s. I guess it helped that I was really comfy last night laying on you,” she half chuckled.

            “We’ll I’m glad I made you comfy.”

            “Did you sleep well?”

            “I did thanks for asking.” He smiled sweetly at her.

            “Are you hungry?” she asked propping herself up on her elbows.

            “I am a little hungry. Probably by the time we finish making breakfast I’ll be really hungry.”

            “Alright then. Let’s go make something.”

            “But I don’t want to move,” Rich whined jokingly.

            “Well you have to get up so I can. So get up,” she pinched his side.

            He jumped up and exclaimed, “I was hoping you forgot where my ticklish spot was!”

            “Obviously I didn’t,” she stuck her tongue out at him as she got off the couch.

            They made their way into the kitchen and cooked up some bacon, eggs and pancakes.

            As they sat down for breakfast Rich said kind of awkwardly and out of nowhere, “I have to tell you something Vi but I’m not completely sure how to say it.”

            Heather was taken back a little bit, “Well just say it. Since when do not know what to say around me?”

            “Well I have to be brutally honest with you Vi,” he said looking up sheepishly at her from his breakfast plate.         

            “You’ve always been honest with me Rich. Just tell me.”

            He took a deep breath in and Heather felt her heart start to beat nervously.

            “I must admit that you looked really cute when you were sleeping last night.”

            Heather giggled and blushed slightly, “That was it? That’s what you needed to be brutally honest about?”

            “Yeah!” Rich smiled, “Normally best friends don’t say that to each other unless they are joking around. And I’m not joking Vi. You were really cute last night.”

            “Thanks Rich,” she answered with rosy checks. “And since it seems like we are having an honesty moment here, I have to ask you something.”

            “Ask away.”

            “Since when have you been this buff?”

            He chuckled, “What? Is it a bad thing that I bulked up?”

            “No not at all!” she exclaimed then corrected herself, “I mean you look amazing Bud. You are hot. It’s just that you were always a twig in high school I never expected you to be this muscular now.”

            “When I kicked drugs and drinking I had to turn to another thing to occupy myself so I wouldn’t relapse. I gained some weight that I needed to get rid of and Nick had the same problem so we went to the gym together daily and voila! Here’s the new Rich sitting at your table eating breakfast with you.”

            “And I’m glad you’re here. And I’m really glad you took me horseback riding.”

            “It was my pleasure taking you. Trust me it was my pleasure. I forgot how hot you looked riding at a full gallop with that grin on your face and your hair blowing in the breeze,” he said with a smile on his face.

            She pushed aside the complement and said, “I’m also glad I made you stay the night. Nobody knows how to comfort me like you do. I’ve always missed the way you stroked my hair when I was feeling blue.”

            “I missed the way my fingers felt running through your soft hair and I missed the smell of it. I can tell you use the same shampoo because your hair smells the same way it used to back in high school.”

            “I also have to confess that I didn’t realize how much I missed your smile until now,” she looked into his eyes.

            “Your smile was and still is the best thing on this earth Violet. I would dream about that smile of yours and wake up happy. Then it would just depress me to know I was only dreaming.”

            They sat in silence as they finished what else they had on their plates. They didn’t look at each other until Rich said:

            “I have to say that time has been really good to you Violet. You have matured into a beautiful woman. You took my breath away when I saw you in that purple dress at the after party. I’ve always imagined and dreamed you growing into the woman you are now. It’s like you stepped right out of my dreams that night.”

            “It’s funny how we found each other again isn’t it?” she said with her voice lowered.

            “Fate is funny some times,” he replied looking into her eyes.

            Heather took a deep breath in before asking, “Why didn’t you reach out to me when you needed help?”

            Rich didn’t answer. He looked into her eyes for a second then looked away.

            “Rich, why didn’t you come for my help? You helped me through the worst times of my life. You know I would’ve helped you.” Heather started to become desperate for his answer but he didn’t say a word. She got up from her seat across from him to stand in front of him. She placed both hands on his face and made him look her in the eye. “Please answer me,” she pleaded.

            He slowly grabbed her hands and took them off his face. He held them as he answered. “I didn’t want to get in your way.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “You had your plans of going to college, fulfilling your dreams of becoming a music engineer and I knew that if I went to you for help you would’ve pushed all that aside for me. I couldn’t let you do that.”

            “Rich…”

            “You would’ve put your future on hold for little drug addict me. I couldn’t let you do that Heather.”

            “It would’ve been worth it to save you and keep you in my life! I would’ve done anything to help you Bud.”

            “I know that,” he shook his head, “but it would’ve hurt you too much.”

            “Rich?”

            He looked into her eyes, “It would’ve hurt you too much to see the monster I became! I broke my father’s heart and I couldn’t look at my own reflection because I didn’t recognize the so called man looking back at me. I couldn’t stand to think how much it would hurt you to see me the way I was.”

            “Rich I would’ve looked past that to help you!”

            “No! You don’t get it Heather! You just don’t get it!” he raised his voice and gently pushed her aside when he stood up. He walked to the kitchen and steadied himself against the sink.

            “What don’t I get Rich?!” She walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. “Just tell me what I don’t get!”

            “You don’t get what I don’t have the words or courage to say to you! You don’t get what I have been hinting at all night!”

            “Just tell me!”

            He stared into her dark brown eyes and could see tears starting to swell in them. He hated seeing her like this but he couldn’t find the words to say to her.

            “I don’t get why you just vanished from my life. I don’t get why you wrote me that suicide letter and made me think that you really were dead! Do you know how much that hurt me to think my best friend died without me saying goodbye or what I’ve always wanted to say to you!” Tears started to run down her face, “If you had come for my help you still would’ve been a part of my life not just a death note handed to me by a whore of a step sister and pictures in yearbooks and photo albums. Do you know how much you’re hurting me right now? Rich just tell me!”

            He hated seeing her cry but he didn’t know what to say to her.

            “Heather I want to tell you…”

            “Then tell me!”

            Rich ran his hand through his short brown hair in frustration. Heather placed her hands on his face again and pleaded as she sobbed, “Tell me!”

            His blue eyes looked into hers and he hated how much pain was in them. His hands raised up to hers and he held them.

            “Do you remember the last night we spent together before you went away to college?”

            “I remember it like it was yesterday. But what does that have to do with what you can’t say to me?”

            “It has everything to do with the words I don’t have the courage to say to you.”

            Two days before Heather went away to college she, Rich, Jess and her then boyfriend, Kelshie and her then boyfriend, Rose and her high school sweetheart, Steph and her high school sweetheart who was now her fiancé, and Heather’s two other best friends Amanda and Caitlin and their boyfriends, went camping for the last time together before each of them went their separate ways. Each of them never forgot that last day they spent camping together.                 

            When they each settled down in their own tents a thunderstorm erupted. Everyone rushed to Heather’s tent because they knew how much she was scared by thunderstorms. Rich was the first one to reach her though. She let everyone else go back to their tents but she wanted Rich to stay.

            They fell asleep together after he stroked her hair and she rested her head on his chest to hear his heartbeat.

            “I wanted to tell you that night,” Rich half whispered.

            “Wanted to tell me what?” Heather asked as she was getting angrier.

            He continued to speak like he never heard her, “And remember the day you left?”

            “Yes I do but what do you want to tell me?!” she raised her voice.

            He didn’t answer as he flashed back to the day she left for college.

            She had her car all packed and before she said her good byes Rich pulled her aside. They went were no one could see them and they confessed how much they would miss each other. They shared one sweet kiss before they went back to the crowd of friends that came to see Heather drive off. After she started to become emotional she hopped in her car and headed for the highway. As she drove out of the drive way her friends waved to her and Rich shed tears. That was the first time he let anyone see him cry.

PT2      “I was hoping that kiss we shared would’ve opened your eyes to my true feelings about you but you didn’t say anything. All you did was wrap your arms around my neck and squeeze me. You didn’t say a word. You didn’t even ask why I kissed you like that,” Rich shook his head.

            “I didn’t know what to say to you! You knocked me off my feet with that kiss Rich. I couldn’t say anything to you because I knew how much I was going to miss you but I couldn’t tell you that and I knew how much you were going to miss me. I just couldn’t say anything.”

            “So you knew all this time?” he half whispered.

            “Knew what Rich? I’m confused!”

            “I’ve always wanted to tell you that I have had the biggest crush on you ever since freshman year of high school. I’ve wanted to tell you that I dreamed about you and me becoming high school sweethearts and one day settling down together and having my engagement ring on your finger. I dreamed of watching you walk down the aisle in a beautiful wedding gown to become my bride. I dreamed of the perfect family we would have together. Violet I always saw you and me spending the rest of our lives together.”

            “Then why didn’t you tell me?!” she screamed, “Why did you just vanish from my life?! Why did you break my heart by making me believe you died?!”

            He didn’t know what to say so he gently clutched her crying face in his hands and sang staring into her eyes, “Baby, please try to forgive me/Stay here don’t put out the glow/ Hold me now don’t bother/Every minute it makes me weaker/You can save me from the man that I’ve become/Sadness is beautiful loneliness is tragical/So help me I can’t win this war/So hold me now don’t bother/If every second it makes me weaker/You can save me from the man I’ve become/Looking back on the things I’ve done/I was trying to please someone/I played my part/And kept you in the dark/Now let me show you the shape of my heart.”

            She started to weep harder, “Bud…

            “Heather I love you. I have always loved you and that’s why I didn’t want you to help me. I didn’t want to burden you and I wasn’t the same person who grew up with you. I’ve always wanted to tell you that I loved you but I was afraid you didn’t love me back,” he started to tear.

            “You shouldn’t have been afraid because I have always loved you but I never knew how to tell you,” she looked up at him and she stared at him.

            “Do you really mean that?” his voice quivered.

            “I really do Rich,” she smiled through her tears, “I really do love you!”

            He didn’t say a word. He just smiled widely and grabbed her. She jumped into his arms and they kissed passionately. When they finished kissing they stared into each other’s eyes and laughed lightly.

            “It feels so good to finally know you love me back,” Rich whispered into her ear as he squeezed her.   

             She squeezed his neck tighter, “You don’t know how badly I have always wanted to tell you and confess that your dreams were the same as mine. And I’ve also been waiting for you to kiss me like that. You’re a really good kisser.”

            He gently placed her back on her feet and smiled at her, “Well baby, there are plenty more kisses where that came from.”

            She giggled and stole another kiss from him.

            “This is going to be great Vi! You and me together at last. We can make all our dreams come true.”

            “Slowly. We’ll make our dreams come true slowly. I don’t want to rush the relationship we just got back and the relationship we are just starting now.”

            He pushed a strand of hair away from her face and stared into her eyes, “I promise I’ll go as slow as you want to. You set the pace and I’ll be right there with you.” He placed his hands on her lower back as if they were going to slow dance and she placed her hands on his shoulders. She smiled at him but he could see that she was thinking about something, “What’s that look for Violet?”

            “What if it doesn’t work out between us?”

            Rich was taken aback, “What do you mean?”

            “You have your dream job that demands that you travel the world and work almost every single night. Are you going to have time for me?”

            “You can come with me and I’ll make time for you. Trust me, I never want to lose you again. And I’ll do anything to make this work between us.”

            “But I can’t go with you. I have two jobs and the dogs to take care of and my friends and family that I would miss way too much.”

            He put his finger on her lips, “We’ll figure it out. Let’s just spend the day together.”

            “I wish I could Rich but I have to go to work today at the animal shelter.”

            “Ok then…. You doing anything tonight?”

            “Nope I’m free.”

            “Would you like to come to the show tonight at the IZOD center? Then go to the after party with me? I’m DJ-ing for it tonight.”

            “I would love to but how are you getting me in?”

            “I have two tickets and passes for you. The sound check party is already filled but the tickets are for really awesome seats in the VIP section.”

            “I will definitely take them if you won’t get in trouble. But I won’t make it home for the sound check in time anyway.”

            “Me get in trouble? I’m Backstreet’s DJ. I won’t get in trouble. I can get free tickets whenever I want to and I get my choice of tickets too. So don’t worry about it. It’s one of the perks of having your best friend work for Backstreet.”

            She smiled and shook her head at him, “It’s not fair.”

            “What?”

            “You’re winning me over with free Backstreet tickets,” she joked.

            “Is it working?” he grinned playfully at her.

            “It is. But you had me at I love you so you can stop trying so hard.”

            They both laughed then kissed.

            “Well I better get ready for work. I’ll be right back down so I can steal one more kiss before I leave,” she winked at him.

            “Sounds good to me.”

            She ran upstairs and changed into her work clothes. It was the fastest she had ever changed and bounded back down the stairs again. She felt like a love sick teenager who was excited to have her boyfriend take her out on a date. Rich smiled at her as she came down the stairs.

            “That was fast.”

            “I know. I’m running a little late but I really want that kiss.”

            Rich moved closer to her and wrapped her arms around her waist. He grinned at her before he kissed her sweetly.

            “Have I told you that you’re a good kisser?” she smiled at him.

            “You’ve mentioned that,” he chuckled.

            “You can stay here if you’d like while I’m at work.”

            “I’m actually going to head to the gym then I have to meet back up with the tour crew. But thanks for the offer.”

            “You’re welcome.”

            “And here I want you to keep these,” he handed her the sleeveless T-shirt and basketball shorts he wore while he slept.

            “But they’re yours Rich.”

            “I like knowing how much they comfort you so if you don’t come on tour with me you won’t be lonely. Also now that I know where they are I’ll be back to take them if I want them.”

            “Thanks baby.”

            He smiled widely at her, “I like the sound of that.”

            She grinned her reply, “I like it when you call me baby too. Do you have the tickets with you now before we both forget?”

            “Yes I do,” he handed her the tickets and after she put them in her purse they walked hand in hand out to their cars.

            Rich grabbed her again before she got in her car, “I’ll see you tonight baby. I’ll make sure to save a few dances for you. I love you Violet.”

            “I’ll see you tonight baby. I love you too Rich.”

            He smiled, “I love hearing that Bud.”

            “Me too honey.”

            They kissed before Heather got in her car and drove toward work. Rich followed her out of the drive way with a huge smile on his face.

            During Heather’s break her cell phone rang and it made her nervous because it was Nick.

            “Hey Nick!” she answered excitedly hoping her voice didn’t sound shaky.

            “What’s going on sweetie?”

            “I’m at work right now.”

            “Is this a bad time to talk?”

            “No it’s not I’m on my break right now.”

            “Oh ok. Would you like two tickets to the show tonight at the Izod center and after party?”

            “Really?”

            “Yeah. I know you’ve already seen the show but I would really like to see you tonight. I miss you baby.”

            “I miss you too.”

            “Then you’ll take the tickets?”

            “I would love to go tonight.”

            “Great! I won’t have time to drop them off at your house so I’ll give them to the person checking tickets. Just tell that person that you’re the girl behind the mask and you’ll get them.”

            Heather laughed.

            “What’s so funny?” Nick said with a chuckle in his voice.

            “It’s just that it sounds so… I don’t know. It sounds like we’re undercover or something.”

            He laughed with her, “It does sound that way.”

            “But I am excited to see you tonight Nick.”

            “I am too baby.”

            She smiled at the happiness in his voice, “I have to go back to work now. I’ll see you tonight at the concert.”

            “I’ll see you there baby. I’ll look for you in the VIP section and DJ Lani and I are both DJ-ing so I’ll dance with you when I’m not spinning.”

            “Ok honey. I’ll see you tonight.”

            “I love you Heather.”

            “I love you too Nick.”

            As she hung up the phone she bit her lip and started to wonder how she was going to pull off tonight without getting caught between both Nick and Rich.