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Chapter Fourteen: You Already Have Me


Desi had a nightmare in which Nick was rubbing Kelsey's boobs right in front of him and they were both laughing at him. How could you ever think I'd be interested in you? Dream-Kelsey demanded as Dream-Nick grinned savagely and started ripping Kelsey's shirt off with his teeth. Desmond sat up with a start and found Kelsey still asleep in the next bed, the sun trying to peek through the closed blinds on the window, and his cellphone buzzing with multiple missed text messages.

He was just glad to see Kelsey had on a shirt and that Nick wasn't pulling it off with his teeth or anything.

However, Nick was present, in the form of the text messages.

Hey just reminding you tonight's AA, Nick texted.

Desmond scrolled through three identical messages like that from Nick. The fourth read, Lemme know you got this?

Desi tapped back Got it, thx and plugged the phone back into the charger on the nightstand. He glanced over at Kelsey, feeling almost like he had to keep checking she was still there, and then inched across the room - careful not to stub his toes again - and slid into the bathroom. He was brushing his teeth when Kelsey asked, "Des?"

"I'm in the bathroom," he said.

"I was gonna reprimand you for not leaving a note," Kelsey said. She pushed the door open and he jumped back from the doorway. She stared at him.

"How did you know I wasn't using the toilet?" he demanded, spitting a mouthful of toothpaste foam into the sink basin.

"You were running the water," she answered. "Nobody runs the water when they're going to the toilet."

"People who are having problems starting do," he argued.

"Do you have trouble starting, Des? Is your pee-pee broken?" she stuck out her lower lip.

"No," he said. "I don't. My pee-pee is just fine, thanks."

Kelsey smirked. "That's quite the protest you're putting up."

Desmond turned red and focused on his toothbrushing experience while Kelsey leaned against the door frame, watching as he scrubbed his molars. "You know I really am sorry for sneaking off last night and not leaving a note," she said. She sighed, "I didn't think you'd worry."

Desi spat into the sink. "Well, now you know. I do. I do very much."

"Okay. And I'll remember that and next time I'll leave a note. I promise."

"Thank you."

Kelsey nodded. "Now get out of the bathroom so I can pee."

"I had it first," Desi said in a little kid voice.

"Don't make me beat your ass Desmond Truetree," Kelsey threatened, grining, "I did when we were kids and I will now."

"You didn't beat my ass as kids," Desi said.

"Um yeah, only all the damn time," Kelsey said.

"Only 'cos I let you win," Desi replied.

Kelsey laughed, "Please," she scoffed.

"It's true!" Desi argued, "You were a three-dimensional stick figure, and I was a buff --"

"BUFF!"

"-- worldly man --"

"You were such a dweeb, don't lie," Kelsey snorted. "Buff worldly man. Please. You aren't even a buff worldly man now."

"I am!" Desmond laughed.

"I could still take you!"

"BRING IT!" he grinned and laughed as Kelsey charged at him and grabbed at his wrists, tugging meaninglessly on them as he held them up. He shrugged her off and slipped between her and the wall, "Oh man I can't take it, I can't take the pain!" Desi threw himself down on Kelsey's bed in mock agony and she fell on top of him, straddling his waist, pressing her palms against his chest like she was holding him down.

"Say it, say you just got beat up by a girl," she demanded, laughing because they both knew he could get up whenever he wanted to and she'd go flying.

Desmond stared up at her, "Never!" he laughed.

"Sayyy it!" she hooted, "Say I could take you any time!"

He stared up at her. "You could take me anytime," he said, his voice low with seriousness.

Kelsey grinned, "That's all I wanted to hear." She crawled off him and headed for the bathroom.

When the door closed, Desmond let out a sigh, "You already have me."




"Nick, this demo -- it's insane," Kevin's voice was thick with pride and accelerated with excitement. "When the hell did you get so good at writing?" he demanded, a chuckle to his voice.

"I dunno," Nick said, "I guess in all that time you were gone I like, grew up or something."

Kevin's voice was reverent. "I'll say. This song is so -- mature. Especially compared to everything else you've ever written," Kevin paused. "I'm really, really proud of you, Nick."

Nick felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as guilt settled into his abdomen. He knew he didn't really deserve Kevin being proud of him, but at the same time it felt so good to hear the words. It occurred to him that it'd been a long time since he'd felt like someone was really, truly proud of him, and Kevin had a certain way of saying it that, whether it was earned or not, fed Nick's craving.

"Thanks Kev," Nick said thickly.

"I gotta go send this demo to the other fellas," Kevin said, "We should book some studio time, get this thing recorded... Maybe we could get some work done on a new album. I could see this being a single." He paused. "Nick, I don't say it enough, but you're a good man."

Guilt flashed through Nick's gut like a strobe light. "Thanks," he said awkwardly.

They hung up and Nick rocked back and forth in his swivel chair at the soundboard in his studio, his fingers steepled together under his nose. He wondered what the hell he was gonna do. Some part of him had hoped that Kevin would hate the song after hearing how rushed the demo cut was. But now that Kevin loved it, Nick knew he had to figure out what the hell to do.




Desi was sitting in the convertible outside of the lodge where the AA meetings were held. He watched as people arrived and went inside, as Ringo wheeled himself up the handicapped ramp, and even as Nick's car whizzed into a parking spot like a streak of lightening and he jumped out and ran in. At the sight of him, Desmond balled his fists. He felt ridiculous, sitting there, pissed off at Nick for liking Kelsey. He above all people should've understood and empathized with liking Kelsey. It wasn't like Nick knew Desmond's plans for the future when it came to Kelsey. He just saw an amazing, lovable, beautiful, mesmerizing woman.

But still.

Desmond was a little worried about going in, about talking to Nick. He might say something he didn't really mean, or - worse, but only slightly - whale off and punch Nick in the face for all the boob-grabbing he'd done in Desi's dreams all night. He didn't really wanna end up punching Nick. He liked Nick when he wasn't ripping Kelsey's shirt off with his teeth. So he put his key in the ignition and turned the car on. He'd just go back to the hotel and watch some corny movie on cable with Kelsey and tell her the AA meeting had been canceled for some reason, thereby removing all temptation to level Nick.

He was just about to drive away when his phone vibed.

You coming in or what, dawg? Nick texted.

Desmond sighed and grabbed his hat, tipping it onto his head as he walked across the parking lot toward the lodge doors. AA shouldn't make you want to drink, he thought,but he had a feeling that was exactly what the results of this night was going to be.

Inside, Brad was already leading the group through the serenity prayer. Nick waved to Desmond from the front corner, where he was sitting next to Ringo. Desmond walked carefully over and lowered himself into the seat next to Nick, who winked his greeting at him as Brad was getting to the amen part of the prayer.

Throughout the entire meeting, Desmond hardly heard a single word. He found he kept focusing on Nick's hands, on the big knuckles, chewed fingernails, and wide palms, the long fingers. He pictured those hands sprawled across Kelsey's chest like his dreams and he looked away, his stomach churning. He tried to think of anything except Nick's hands but his brain was a one-track-rail.

When the meeting ended, Desmond leaped to his feet and rushed to the back of the room. His goal was to avoid Nick at all costs. He couldn't handle anymore replays of his nightmares... But before Desmond could escape, Nick caught him by the elbow and held him back. "Hey don't go," Nick said, "I gotta talk to you."

Desmond hesitated, "I'm not feeling so great," he said, "Can it wait?"

Nick shook his head, "It's business," he said, "About your song."

Desi licked his lips. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"C'mon. Lemme buy you a drink," Nick said. He froze the moment the words were out of his mouth. It came so naturally, when talking business, to say something like let me buy you a drink, that he'd said it without even really thinking about it.

Desmond raised an eyebrow.

"Of coffee," Nick corrected lamely.

"Actually, I think you had it right the first time," Desi replied, and he led the way out the door.