[ - ]
Table of Contents [Report This]
Printer Chapter or Story Microsoft Word Chapter or Story
- Text Size +
Chapter Sixteen: Good Morning Assholes


The blinding light of day seared Desmond's eyes and he squeezed them shut and pulled a pillow over his face. "Good morning assholes!" Kelsey's voice was loud. She was shouting. Nick covered his ears. "Up! Get up!" Kelsey grabbed the pillow from Desmond's face, walked around the bed and gently kicked the side of Nick's head. "Up!!"

"Leave me alooooone," Nick whimpered, covering his face with his hands to protect himself against the onslaught. "I want to diiiiiie."

"Should've thought of the morning after before you both drank yourselves into oblivion," Kelsey reprimanded them. "Now get the fuck up, both of you." She tugged the blankets off the bed Desi was laying on. He curled into fetal position. "UP!" She grabbed Nick's hands off his face.

"You're a hell woman!" Desi said from the bed.

"You both owe me huge for putting up with your drunk asses last night," Kelsey replied. "Thumping in here after midnight singing the bloody Ghost Busters theme and claiming you only had a couple beers. Give me a break. I wasn't born yesterday."

Nick opened his eyes marginally. The sunlight outside was pouring in through the wide-open window and Kelsey was standing over him.

"Up," she said.

Desi sat up slowly, his stomach churning with every centimeter he shifted. He stared over at Kelsey, who had her hands on her hips, glaring down at Nick. "We were singing the Ghost Busters song?" he asked.

"Loudly. Off key." Kelsey replied. She pointed at a tray with three McDonalds cups and a bag that was stained by grease sitting on the dresser beside the TV. "Black coffee and breakfast. Maybe that'll help you two with the hangovers."

Nick covered his eyes again. "So would some dark and quiet."

Desi moved so his legs hung over the side of the bed and rubbed his ear with his baby finger. He looked around the room. He couldn't quite recall how he got there.

"We don't have time for dark or quiet today," Kelsey said, "Because we have to go get both your cars and Desmond's gotta work."

"Fuck the cars," Nick muttered. He closed his eyes again.

"GET UP!" Kelsey yelled.

"Holy volume Batman," Nick said. "You aren't the nurse-your-wounded-men-back-to-health time, are you?"

"I see no men in this room," she replied coldly. "I'm going to take a shower and by the time I get back out you both better have eaten breakfast and be ready to go get the cars." Kelsey eyed them both. "I mean it." She turned and walked into the bathroom.

When the door closed, Nick rolled onto his stomach. "Fuck man, close the damn blinds," he said to Desi.

Desmond got up and pulled the blind shut, cutting the sunlight pouring into the room. He walked over to the dresser and picked up one of the coffee cups and unrolled the top of the bag. Nick meanwhile flopped back down onto his back. Desi pulled out an Egg McMuffin and unwrapped it, biting into it quickly. He looked over at Nick, who was spreadeagled on the floor. "She'll seriously find some way to make your life a living hell if you don't get up," Desi warned him.

"Did you hear her shouting, man? Why did she have to shout?" Nick whined.

"Like I said, she'll make your life a living hell," Desi replied.

Nick struggled to his feet and joined Desi at the dresser, pulling out his own identical sandwich and coffee. "What in hell did we get into last night?" he asked Desi as he started eating.

Desmond was picking the egg off his sandwich. "I dunno," he said, "But it fucked us right up, that's for damn sure. Do you even remember getting back here?"

"There's a blur of a cab in my memory," Nick replied. "Don't you like egg?" he pointed at Desi's pile of rejected egg in the wrapper on the dresser.

Desi shrugged, "It's not my favorite."

Nick sat on the end of the bed and chewed his sandwich slowly, staring down at his feet. "You know, whenever I wake up the morning after... I wish I had never gone drinkin' in the first place," he confessed. He closed his eyes.

Desi was still picking egg off his sandwich.

"Except the time I saw her," Nick muttered, more to himself, having almost forgotten Desi was even there.

"Who?" Desmond asked.

Nick opened his eyes. He looked up at Desi. "This one time," he said, "When I was real drunk, I passed out on the floor in the bathroom back home in LA and I woke up and I --" he paused, not wanting to seem like a complete and total nutjob. "I saw a girl," he said slowly.

"Like -- what? A hallucination?" Desi wiped the egg grease onto his pant leg. He wasn't even looking at Nick.

"More like... an angel or something," Nick replied.

Now Desi looked over at Nick, eyebrow raised.

Nick shrugged, "It sounds crazy, I know."

"A little, yeah," Desmond replied.

The bathroom door opened and Kelsey came out in PJ pants and a strappy tank top. She had her hair wrapped up in a towel balanced on her head. She looked from Nick to Desmond. "Congratulations on peeling your sorry asses off the floor and bed sheet," she said hotly. She crossed the room and bent over her suitcase, digging for an outfit.

Nick stared at her ass.

"I'm sorry about... whatever we did last night," Desmond said.

Kelsey didn't even look up, "Mmhm," she mumbled.

"Really," Desmond said.

"Yeah," Nick agreed.

Kelsey turned, a pair of jeans and a t-shirt in her fist. "You're both lucky I didn't kick your sorry asses right back out the damn door," she commented. She sighed, her face softening at the reprimanded looks on both their faces. "Here, have some Advil." She pulled a bottle out of her suitcase and unscrewed the cap, tapping two pills into each of their hands.

Nick knocked the pills back, washing them down with his coffee.

"Thanks," Desi said.

Kelsey looked at him, her eyes lingering too long, "You're welcome," she said. She paused. "So neither of you remember anything about last night? Anything you said?"

Nick shook his head. "Did we say stupid shit?"

Kelsey was still staring at Desmond. "Not really, no," she replied, and she turned away, headed back into the bathroom, and closed the door behind her.

Nick turned to look at Desmond. "Dude, one of us said something really stupid last night," he said, panic in his voice. "Why else would she ask that?"

"I dunno," Desi answered, a sinking feeling washing over him.

"What do you think we said?" Nick asked, thinking of the plans he'd had for the contract, thinking of how he was tricking Desi into selling out all the rights to the song. He wondered if he'd told Kelsey his plans, if she was now gonna tell Desi...

"I dunno," Desi answered, thinking of the way that he'd been holding back the words I love you since they crossed the stateline. He swallowed back the worry.

When Kelsey came back out of the bathroom again, both the boys stared at her, hoping she'd say something that would reveal which of them had said something stupid and what it'd been. "C'mon," she said, "Let's go get the cars." She grabbed her purse and waved for the two of them to follow, which they did.

In the cab, the boys gave the driver the address to the bar they'd been in the night before. As they rode, Nick sat, slouched down, his eyes covered with the palm of his hand. Desi tilted his fedora to block the light from the side. Kelsey looked between the two of them. "I hope you're both proud of yourselves right now," she commented.

"Not particularly," Nick muttered.

"I just wanna get something straight with both of you," she said, clearing her throat, "This is the last time I put up with this crap from either of you. The next time this happens, I'm done. Capiche?"

Desmond nodded, and Nick followed suit.

Kelsey folded her arms across her chest. "I care about both of you too much to even begin to watch you destroy yourselves or each other."

It was as they were getting out of the cab at the bar and Nick was tossing the driver the money for the fare when he dropped the bundle of papers that was in his pocket. He picked them up and unraveled them as the cabbie dug for the change. It was the contract, the one stating Nick would pay Desmond $25,000 for all rights, including authorship and future compensation. And it was signed.

Eyes wide, and glued to the cursive swirl of Desmond's name across the line at the bottom of the page, Nick started backing out of the car, folding the contract and replacing it in his pocket.

"You don't want your change?" the cabbie asked, holding up a fifty.

"Nawh," Nick replied, patting his pocket, "I got what I wanted right here." He closed the door and the cabbie drove away as Nick turned back to Kelsey and Desi, who were looking around.

"Not to sound cliched and so painfully 1999 that it hurts but..." Desi paused. "Dude, where's your car?"