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Chapter Twenty: You Blind Girl


Desi had indeed fallen asleep by the time Kelsey pushed her way into the hotel room. He'd only been asleep probably two hours, though. Strewn across the bed were sheets of lyrics he'd written in the last few hours, all angry, broken words that had been written with a pen pressed heavy against the pages.

Kelsey tried to close the door quietly, but he heard it and his eyes snapped open at once. He rolled over and stared at her as she tiptoed to the bed. Her eyes met his. "Hey," she said gently. She kicked off her shoes and crawled onto her mattress, gathering a pillow under her chin, and lay, staring back at him. "I'm so--"

"Forget it," he interrupted, and he rolled over.

Kelsey sighed.

Desi closed his eyes.

"Aw c'mon, Des," she said to his back.

"Is this my punishment for coming home drunk then? You don't come home at all?" he asked. He turned back around, "You don't call at all, nothin'?" He shook his head, "Could've at least had Nick call and tell me he wasn't bringin' you home after all. He said he was..."

"You talked to Nick?"

"Yeah, last night."

Kelsey's brows stitched. "How? We were ---" she paused. "--busy, by the time you got out of work."

Desi felt his heart sink at the word busy. He lost all the thoughts that'd been in his head, like they were scattered birds, each letter taking off on its own course away from his mind. The only thing now in his mind was the image of the two of them having sex. He drew a deep breath, trying to regather the words, trying to force the thought of sex out. "I talked to him around, I dunno, like eight I guess it was, I don't remember. I was back early. I quit," he said.

Kelsey's eyes widened, "You quit?" she gasped. "Desi, why would you do that?"

"Rick was being a jerk."

"So you just walked out?" Kelsey squealed, "How could you? Desi, how are we gonna pay --"

"WE?" Desi shouted. "We have not paid anything," he announced, "I have paid everything since we left Boston."

Kelsey stared at him like she'd been slapped.

"So if I wanna quit then I'm gonna quit," he added. "I'll figure it out, I'll pay everything. Don't worry about it. You haven't yet. And if you're worried, then maybe you should ask Nick if he pays by the hour."

She just continued staring at him.

Desi knew he crossed a line with that last sentence, he knew it, but she didn't seem to be reacting, so he just stared at her, waiting. He wanted to take it back. He hadn't really meant it the way it had sounded. But he didn't dare to speak in the silence that followed the last word falling from his mouth. Maybe, he thought irrationally, she hadn't heard it somehow.

She didn't say anything. She just got up and started throwing things into her suitcase. She zipped the suitcase up and wheeled it to the door and pulled it outside and slammed the door shut.

Desi sat there for a few seconds. Then he got up and he rushed after her. She was about halfway down the steps, the phone to her ear. "Come back," she was saying into the phone. "Come back, please come back."

"Kelsey, I'm sorry," Desi said, charging after her, "I'm just... surprised that's all, and I had a rough day and all I wanted was to talk to you afterwards... and you weren't here, and I got upset, that's all. I didn't mean it like I said it, it came out all wrong." He jogged down the steps to her and tried to take hold of her suitcase.

"Let go!" she shouted at him.

"Kelsey... c'mon. Where are you going?"

"Away. Away from you."

"Kels..."

Kelsey ripped the suitcase back out of his hand, stumbled and tripped down the steps only just catching her balance before going all the way down. She slammed the suitcase to the curb. Desi rushed, arms extended, about to catch her if she'd actually fallen. She shoved him back with all her might, her hands against his chest.

"Kelsey --"

"What is wrong with you?" she cried out.

"I don't know," he replied. "i just ---" he took a deep breath, "I'm jealous, Kelsey!"

She blinked in surprise. That wasn't the response she'd expected. "You're -- what?"

"I'm jealous," Desi answered. "I'm jealous of Nick. He's been in your life for like two weeks or something and you're acting like you're in love with him, like he's the one that's been taking care of you all this time... But what's he ever done for you that's better than everything I've done?"

"Des... what're you sayin'?"

"I'm saying I'm in love with you," he shouted, "You blind girl, I've been in love with you my whole damn life."

They stood there staring at each other, neither one moving, neither one speaking any words, just deadlocked into each other's eyes.

After about two solid minutes of silent staring, Nick's car pulled up and the spell was broken as he got out, "Hey," he said, looking between the two of them, "Is everything okay?"

"Jolly," Desi said as he gave Kelsey a pleading look. He'd do anything for Nick to just... go away. He'd do anything for Kelsey to tell him to leave, for her to stay with him, Desi, at the hotel and for the two of them to talk it out, maybe order in some food, watch crappy TV shows and laugh as he held her on the bed and they kissed during the commercial breaks... just like he'd always dreamed.

Instead, Kelsey broke their stare. She nodded at Nick, "Yeah," she said, "It's jolly." Kelsey dragged the suitcase to his car's door and opened it up and struggled to shove it in.

Nick jumped forward to help her, glancing back at Desmond in surprise. "What's going on?" he asked.

"I need to get outta here," she replied.

Desmond took a deep breath. "Kels --"

"No," she said, turning back to him. "No. Just... no." She shook her head.

"No?"

She stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I was afraid."

Kelsey shook her head, "Well you're too god damn late." She turned to Nick, "Take me home."

Desmond felt like everything was shattering around him. "Don't go," he said. Nick was already running around the nose of the car. Kelsey slid into the passenger seat. "Please, Kels. Can't we talk?"

Kelsey stared into his eyes, "Not right now," she said, and she slammed the car door, almost taking out his hand, and Desi jumped back as Nick turned the ignition and started to drive away.

Desi hung his head.

As they drove, Nick didn't dare to speak to Kelsey. She had her arms crossed over her chest, staring out the window, grumbling. He was afraid if he said the wrong thing that she'd pounce him like a cheetah. It took more than half the ride from East Nashville to Cool Springs for Kelsey to speak. Finally, she exploded. "Oh my GOD," she fumed, "The nerve of him. I hate him, sometimes. I just hate him."

"What'd he do?" Nick asked.

Kelsey was wringing her hands, anger spilling over in her gut. "He quit his job," she said, "And then he has the nerve -- the audacity -- well I mean, he's the reason that I didn't get a job and -- then he says that and --" she spluttered.

Nick raised his eyebrow at her. "What'd he say? What happened?"

"He made it sound like it wasn't any of my business if he quit or not," Kelsey said hotly, "Acted like I don't have any say in what goes on, just because I don't have a damn job or pay bills or whatever."

Nick was almost stupid enough to say something like, "do you have any say in that?", but thankfully managed to keep his mouth shut.

"Then he has the audacity to tell me that I should ask you if you're planning to pay me by the hour, like I'm a fucking -- whore or something."

Nick's fist tightened on the wheel and he had to count backwards from ten to keep from hooking a U-turn right there on the highway and going back to pummel Desi's ass. "He what?" he yelped.

But Kelsey was still on her tangent and didn't even really hear Nick's reaction. "And all that just because ---" she shook her head, "I can't believe him."

"Because what?"

Kelsey glanced over at Nick. She realized as she stared at the side of his head as he glanced between her and the road, that she didn't want him to know what Desi had said. She didn't wanna tell him that when Desi had said them, in the silence that followed, a tiny part of her had wanted to run into his arms and scream at him for having kept her waiting so long to hear the words.

"Nothing," she said, "Because nothing."

Nick sighed. He could tell there was more to it than she was telling him, but he didn't dare to press it. He'd learned that particular lesson about women a hundred times over. So he restrained himself and said, "Look, whatever he said or whatever purpose he had for it, I just -- you don't deserve that. You deserve to be respected, y'know? Don'tcha be takin' no shit from nobody, even Desi. Nobody. You're a strong, beautiful woman and there ain't nobody needs to be bringin' you down."

Kelsey smiled as Nick ranted. It was sweet how worked up he was getting over it all, even if he didn't have much of a clue about what all was happening. She'd be crazy, she thought, no matter how excited that part of her had been when Desi had said those words, to give up Nick. He was one of the most desirable men in the entire world and he had a heart of gold, and he hadn't waited for thirty years to tell her how he felt.