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For the next three weeks, Lyric took care of business as usual. She wondered how Howie was doing, they weren’t allowed to contact him directly. Momma D had received a note from him, saying he was doing well, but Lyric hadn’t heard from him at all. She wondered if that was a good thing.

Three weeks into his 30 day stay, Howie’s family was invited to the center for a group session. Lyric was surprised to receive an invitation, she wasn’t sure that Howie considered her family – although she knew his family did.

Momma D, Howie’s three siblings, Nick, Alex, Brian, and Lyric sat in a circle in the room. In the center of the circle, two empty chairs sat facing each other.

“It is important, Howie, that you recognize the impact that your behavior has had on those around you – in your situation that includes your coworkers and family. A step in the right direction is to face those people, listen to them, and then address them directly.” The counselor rose from his chair and walked around the outside of the ring of people. “This is going to be as difficult for them as it is for you, but this is a vital step in your recovery. Please take a seat in the middle.”

Howie rose and walked to an empty chair. Lyric thought he looked much better than he had when she’d escorted him to the treatment center. She thought he had lost some weight, but still looked tired. She knew this was a physical, as well as emotional, drain on him.

The counselor called Howie’s siblings to the opposite chair, one at a time. Looking each other in the eye, they described how Howie’s drug and alcohol addiction had affected them. Howie apologized to each, promising he would be there for them when they needed him.

Howie’s brothers, his band mates, were next to fill the empty chair. He apologized to each for jeopardizing their careers, and told them how much they meant to him. Alex knew the kind of hell Howie was experiencing, he’d gone through it himself. He’d apologized to them just like Howie was doing to him. He knew the road ahead would not be easy.

Next up was Howie’s mother, Lyric could see she was shaking. Howie looked like he might throw up.

“Your father was so proud of you, Howard, of all that you’ve accomplished in your life. He would be terribly disappointed to see what you’ve done to yourself. I understand that you’ve had a hard time dealing with his death, but that is no excuse for drinking and doing drugs.” Momma D wiped a tear from her eye. “You’ve lied to me, let me believe that everything was ok with you. In the months since Hoke’s death, I needed you, needed your strength, and you weren’t here for me.”

Howie was having a hard time controlling his emotions. “I am truly sorry that I have disappointed my family. Hurting you, Mama, is the last thing in the world I ever wanted to do. I felt so lost after dad died.” Howie broke down crying, it took him a while to regain his composure. “I should’ve come to the family for help, admitted that I could not do this alone – it was wrong to hide from you, from everyone who just wanted to help me, to support me. I tried to hide my pain from you, thinking I was helping you, when it fact it was hurting you even more. I apologize, and I hope that you can forgive me.”

Lyric was the last to be called to the chair. Howie was an emotional wreck, what she had to say wasn’t going to be easy on either of them, but the counselor had insisted that they be completely honest with Howie.

“I have only been a part of your life for a short time, Howie, but in that time we’d become very close, or so I thought. Over the last two years, I probably spent more time with you than anyone else in your life. Keeping you safe was my job and you made that so incredibly difficult. So many times I rescued you from clubs, driving you home so that you didn’t kill yourself or others. I lied for you - to your family, to your management, to the band, to the world even – so you wouldn’t lose the job you love so much, or lose the respect that your fans have for you. I tried every way I knew how to remove temptation from you but you still found a way to drink or get high – and then lied to me about it.

“Many times I came to work and found you passed out on the floor, laying in your own vomit. I cleaned you up, put you to bed to sleep it off, and then did your work and mine too. You brought dangerous people into our lives – addicts and prostitutes who took advantage of you, stole from you, supplied you with drugs. There was a good reason I always carried a stun gun with me, I had to use it several times to protect myself, or you, from harm. I almost overdosed when your dealer kidnapped me and injected me with cocaine and heroin. I would’ve died if it hadn’t been for Alex’s quick thinking.”

There was a stir in the room, no one had known about that incident. With every revelation, Howie seemed to shrink. There was soon going to be another shock, although Lyric didn’t want to bring it up she knew she had to.

“I remained loyal to you because I knew you needed me. When you cut yourself off from your family and friends, you had no one else to look after you. The mental abuse I could handle – the accusations and yelling were like reliving my childhood. The physical abuse I suffered at your hands left me doubting whether I could continue to support you, Howie. You threw a bottle at me and nearly blinded me, you punched me in the face when I dared to confront you about your drinking, about the drugs.” Lyric took a deep breath, trying to will herself to do what she had to do. Her voice was just a loud whisper. “And then you raped me. I begged you to stop, but you were too high to even realize what you were doing. And you took something from me, a precious thing that I was saving for my husband - my virginity. I made a promise to God, and to my mother, that I would wait for marriage…and love.”

Everyone in the room was in tears, they could see how Lyric’s words fell like boulders on Howie, crushing him. His head was in his hands, he couldn’t bear to look at her. But their hearts broke for Lyric, who stripped bare her soul in front of them.

“But what hurt me most of all, Howie, was watching you self destruct. You are the most amazing man I have ever met – talented, kind, smart, and generous to a fault. You gave me back my life, took a chance on me when no one else would.” She was glad of the tissues close at hand, she couldn’t stop the tears.

“Please, look at me.” Howie slowly raised his head, their eyes met. “One night, you asked me how you knew when you’d found the love of your life. I told you then that I didn’t know, but I lied. You know it’s true love when you stand by that person, no matter what they say or do, whether you are laughing or crying. In my heart, Howie, the good times overshadow the bad times, a thousand times over. I’ve loved you since the very first time we met. You do not have to ask my forgiveness. The moment you admitted to me you had a problem, I forgave you everything, because I know the man that you are. I knew that you would follow through on that promise.”

Howie reached out and took Lyric’s hands, she could feel him trembling. “I thought going through withdrawal was the worst pain I would ever experience. I was wrong. Listening to what I have done to you was the worst kind of torture,” Howie admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I beg your forgiveness anyway, Ricky. I failed you on every level possible – as an employer, as a friend, as the man who loves you. You’ve endured so much because of me. You say you’ve forgiven me, but how can I ever forgive myself for what I’ve done to you?

“I’ve learned that I need to forgive myself, but not forget, so that I don’t fall back into the addiction. If it takes the rest of my life, I will make it up to you. I apologize, darling, for all the pain I have caused you. I freely admit that I am an addict and an alcoholic, and I understand that I will have to fight this the rest of my life – but I pray that you will be by my side to help me, because with you I know I can face the future.”

And at his last words, Lyric was in his arms and he was holding her tightly. They both were crying.

“I think this has been a productive meeting,” the counselor said, gently breaking them apart. “I need to meet with Howie for the next hour, and then he’ll be able to eat dinner with you and spend a little time before his final meeting of the day. You can wait for him in the courtyard.”

Lyric sprinted for the door, she was too overwhelmed to talk to anyone at the moment. Spying a bench under a tree on the far side of the open space, she claimed it – and turned her back to the rest of the world.

Emotions swirled around her head in a wild whirlwind, she was unable to stop them. She didn’t know how she’d made it through that confrontation without breaking down, maybe she was stronger than she thought. But Lyric knew she’d never be able to do it again – to be able to see the torment on Howie’s face without being able to comfort him.

“That was very brave,” a quiet voice said from behind her.

“I did what I had to do. You, of all people, should know how it feels.” Lyric scooted over to make room for Alex to sit beside her.

He reached out and took her hand, squeezed it gently. “I had no idea, Lyric, what had happened that last day. You could’ve called me, I’d have come to be with you…” He let the sentence hang.

“Thank you, I know you would’ve, Alex. But it was something that I needed to do on my own. Howie needed to see what he’d done and if you’d been there, he might have just blown it off, you know, that bravado between men thing.”

“I probably would have beaten the crap out of him, actually,” Alex admitted. “When you took off your sunglasses at the meeting, I almost lost it – realizing that he’d hit you. If we had known what else he had done to you, I’d be in jail today for murder. I made you a promise to protect you and I didn’t. I’m so sorry.”

“It was a calculated risk, letting everyone at the meeting get a glimpse of what happened – but I needed management to see that Howie was at the breaking point and I needed their blessing to get him to treatment.”

“I’d already smoothed the way for that earlier, Lyric. We knew how much trouble he was in, we were all just waiting for that moment when he realized he needed help.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it. “I’d have forced him to rehab if I’d had any idea he might hurt you. I apologize to you as well, sweetheart.”

“No need, Alex. I don’t think any of us thought he’d get physical, he’s just not like that. But you never know, do you?”

“Will you be ok?” he asked, hugging her. “I can come stay with you if you’d rather not be alone.”

“I’m fine, thanks.” Alex hugged her again and then left to talk to his band mates.

“Mi hija! Are you ok?” Momma D came over to sit with her. “Oh my goodness, querida, I had no idea what my son had done to you. I’m so sorry!” Momma D was on the verge of crying.

“I’m fine, mi mama,” Lyric said, trying to reassure her. “I didn’t want ya’ll to know what had happened, but the counselor made me. I didn’t want to hurt you.” Lyric felt the tears well up again.

“You are as bad as my son, not telling me what is going on,” Momma D gently scolded. “I can’t believe he hurt you,” she said softly, taking Lyric into her arms and hugging her tightly.

“It wasn’t Howie, it was the drugs and alcohol, Mama. He would never hurt me on purpose. He has a kind and gentle soul, that’s why I fell in love with him.”

“You do truly love him? After everything that’s happened?”

“Si, Mama. I’ve loved him for a long time, I just couldn’t admit it to myself – I said that I would never love a musician, not after what my father did to my mother.”

“And then that ended up happening to you as well,” Momma D added. She was well aware of Lyric’s past, they had talked about that at length while traveling on the tour bus together.

“But my father was an evil man, mi mama. He did those things on purpose, to hurt us.” Lyric wiped away a tear.

“Maybe he had demons as well, did you ever think of that?”

“No, I didn’t. They used to fight all the time about something, I never knew what it was about,” Lyric admitted. “Maybe he was using drugs too. That would explain a lot.”