Chapter 1
“AJ, don’t do it.” AJ glanced down at the pieces of paper before him and sighed. He took his glasses off, rubbed his eyes and then glanced back at D, who only shook his head. He also ignored the vibration of his cell phone in his pocket, knowing clearly that it was his mom. But honestly, she didn’t understand this, no matter how much he explained.
He picked up the pen, looked at her lawyer, then his, tapped his pen on the wood table and finally put the pen to the contract and signed his name. After he done it, he pushed the paper away and then stood up and walked out with D. The silence between them stretched and though he didn’t have to talk, he felt like he had to explain his decision.
“I had to.”
“I know.”
“She ain’t coming anytime soon.”
“I know.”
“I want forever.” Howie stopped before they went outside and lightly touched AJ’s arm.
“Alex, there’s nothing you aren’t saying that I didn’t say myself. I know; but just know that the road you’re about to take is a lot more difficult then you actually think.” AJ watched Howie pull his shades down over his eyes and step out into the LA sun. With a sigh, and a shake of his head, AJ did the same and followed Howie out, both of them making their way to his car. “Don’t tell Kevin yet,” Howie said, climbing into the passenger seat. AJ nodded his head once, knowing that Kevin would probably offer more advice then he needed.
Besides, AJ knew Howie was right; he saw it clearly enough, but he wanted some type of happiness, more than what he had. And if that meant that he had to fake sometimes, he would, to have some small measure of happiness, of forever. His choices were limited and his hopes and faith weren’t what they once were. The more time flew by, the dimmer his dreams seemed to be getting. So why not make the best sacrifice? He knew where she stood and that was better than nothing.
-----
Howie sat down at the table and ran his hands over his jeans, knowing that his five year anniversary was around the corner; which was news he didn’t want to think about.
He opened up his laptop and went to a private document, looking over the wording of it. If he wanted out, now was the time, but if he changed, what back up plan did he really have? None. He was back at the start, this time with a little boy and one on the way. And just what good would that cause him?
His mind ran through all the events of today, his talk with AJ, the going to the lawyer, the dinner with Nick and Kevin, and as he went through it all, he came back to the same thought. He may not be truly, deeply happy, but he was semi happy and semi happy was really better than nothing. At least, that’s how he justified it. And for the general part, it was sound reasoning.
He closed the document and then sat his laptop aside and picked up his phone, thinking he had enough time to figure it out. He dialed his mom’s house phone, knowing that on Wednesday afternoons, Leigh went to dinner with her sister.
“Hello?”
“Hey mom, how are you?”
“I’m good Howard, and you?” It still made him smile, after all these years, that she still called him Howard.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not, I can hear it. Wanna talk about it?”
“Not really, at least not over the phone. I was just calling to check up on you and on James, making sure he’s not giving you trouble.”
“Are you kidding? He’s like you at this age!”
“Exactly why I’m calling.”
“He’s fine. As you will be too. I think I know what’s bothering you. Just remember to make this decision with your heart, not your mind. You saw how the last years were, do you really want a repeat?” He laid down on the bed and sighed, knowing his mom spoke the truth.
“I know mama, I know. Look, I’m gonna let you go back to playing with the terror. I’m gonna jump in the shower and think.”
“Okay Howard, love you.”
“Love you too mama.” He hung up his phone and sat it on the bed side table and stared at the ceiling, thinking about what his mom said, and how right she always was.
-----
Nick walked down the street; his hands stuffed in his pockets and kept his head down, the ball cap low, covering his eyes. Although, in LA, he really wasn’t as mauled as he was elsewhere; too many other stars to stare at. He kicked a rock and watched it land in front of a pizza joint. Lord, when was the last time he ate like that? Way before he ever got really serious with Lauren.
He sighed, shook his head and stared at the place, longing for that but not wanting things to get worse with Lauren. He was not in love; hell, he wasn’t even sure he knew exactly what that was or if he even believe it. But he did know he was tired of being lonely, of having mindless one nighters and though Lauren annoyed the shit out of him, most times, she deal with his issues; at least for the better part. Did she change him, of course. Isn’t that what your girlfriend was supposed to do? That’s what Ro did before with and what Leigh did to D. So, he was just following the same path.
Now, he wasn’t thinking marriage; after all, that was so not his thing, nor would it ever be. But, like anyone else, he really didn’t want to be alone forever. Nor did he want to be having one nighters tell he was gray.
Yet again, he sighed and looked down at his phone, knowing what his brothers were doing. He could ring AJ, tag along while he went out and picked out an engagement ring that he really didn’t believe in. With that thought, Nick dialed AJ, knowing he was gonna need some help.
“Hey Nick, what’s up?”
“Nothing man, how you doin?”
“I’m going in circles. This was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be.”
“Do you want some help?”
“Would love some. Lauren doesn’t have you home right now? Or making you work out?”
“Ha, ha, aren’t you funny? Why don’t you come pick me up?”
“Sure thing man.” Nick gave him the cross roads and then went into the pizza joint. Having at least one slice wasn’t going to kill him. And he really would be working it off later anyway.
He walked out, the soda in his hand and climbed into AJ’s car. Nick flipped AJ off as AJ just kept staring at him. He finally laughed at that and pulled away from the curb.
“Are you sure you wanna do this AJ? Look at Kev and D.”
“I know man.” AJ laid his head back against the rest and sighed. “But you know me. You know how badly I want that ever after and in this work, she won’t come.” Nick stared out the window, watching the traffic and nodded, for he had heard the same story a few times.
“I know, I know. I just…if it’s all fake, than what good is it anyway?”
“Because it’s not 100 percent fake. I care for her, and I may love her.”
“I get it, you just aren’t in love.” Nick looked at AJ and raised a brow. “And what happens man, if by some random chance, you do meet up with your one soul mate, the one woman you should be marrying?”
Author's Chapter Notes:
This really is just my own mind at work here. It's a different spin for me in some regards, so I hope you like it!
