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Chapter Twenty-Five / 2013... and a little glimpse at 1986


Abbey

Matty spent most of the day taking peeks at Jeraldo through the window. He'd be playing quietly with his Iron Man and Incredible Hulk action figures on the floor and he'd suddenly jump up, run over to the window and stand on his tippy-toes to see if Jeraldo was still there, then he'd go back to playing. I felt like I was doing the same thing with my text message inbox. I kept pulling my phone out of my pocket and opening the messaging screen to make sure I hadn't somehow missed anything from Nick.

"Think we should bring a blanket out to Jeraldo?" Matty asked at bedtime. It was a little windy outside and the wreath rocked gently side-to-side.

I helped him pick out a warm-ish looking hand towel from the closet and he followed me outside, holding a flashlight, to deliver the "blanket" to Jeraldo. "Careful not to touch him, mommy," he reminded me as I delicately tucked the little elf in with the towel. "We just wanna keep him warm, not make the magic go out."

"I'm being extra careful. Night, night Jeraldo," I said, "Sleep tight. Don't let the... wreath bugs bite."

Matty grinned up at me. "Stay warm. If you want to come inside, you can. Right mommy? He can come inside if he wants?"

"Sure he can," I answered.

"Night Jeraldo," Matty called, and we went back inside. Matty inspected my tucking job from the window. "He looks warmer," he decided. "He looks like he's smiling now."

"He does," I agreed.

Matty crawled under his blankets and kicked his legs to loosen the sheets around him. I tucked in around his little body and he grinned up at me. "You're good at tucking people and elves in, I bet Jeraldo thinks so too." He snuggled into his pillows.

"I've had six years of practice," I answered. I sat down on the bed beside him and smoothed his hair away from his eyes. "I'm glad you're home," I told him.

"Me too," he answered.

I picked up the book he'd picked out from his shelf and started reading to him about a rainbow scaled fish when there was a knock on the door. I looked at the clock next to Matty's bed. It was almost eight-thirty. "Who in the world --" I got up.

"Maybe it's Jeraldo," Matty suggested.

"Maybe." I had a feeling he was right, in a way... "Here, hold our place. I'll be right back." I handed the book to Matty and he hugged it to his chest.

I looked through the peephole and there was a fish-eye view of Nick. I glanced at the sliding doors to see the elf was gone from the wreath. I smirked, and pulled the door open, "Hey," I whispered, "Matty's about to go to sleep. He thinks you're the elf coming in from the cold."

Nick held up Jeraldo, his eyes sparkling, nose red from the chill outside. "He does?"

"Yeah," I whispered. "He made me go outside earlier and tuck it in with that towel." I pointed at the hand cloth Nick had in his hands with Jeraldo. Nick laughed. "Let me get him the rest of the way to sleep and I'll come back out."

"Okay," Nick whispered. He stood there in the living room, shedding his coat and a knit hat he'd pulled over his hair, as I snuck back into Matty's bedroom.

Matty looked up expectantly as I closed the bedroom door behind me. "Well? Who was it?"

"Jeraldo," I replied.

Matty's eyes went wide. "Really?"

I nodded. "He's inside now, so you don't have to worry about him being cold anymore. I told him he could sleep wherever he'd like."

"That's so cool," Matty said with awe in his voice. "So, so cool."

I nodded, and I took the book back from his chest where he'd laid it. He smiled happily, thinking of Jeraldo. "Now where were we..." I mumbled and I searched out the exact line we'd been on and continued reading about the rainbow fish, but I don't think Matty heard a word I said about the fish or it's scales or anything else, he was too entranced with the thought of a real elf sleeping in his living room. And he was asleep before the end of the book.

I slid the book back on the shelf on my way out and whispered good night from the door as I pulled it closed behind me.

When I turned around, Nick was standing in the hallway in the dark. I jumped in surprise -- I hadn't expected him there. I thought he was out in the living room still. "Oh God, you scared me," I hissed.

He held a finger up over his lips and we went back out to the living room. "I wanted to hear the story," he said.

"So where's Jeraldo?" I asked. Nick pointed up. I looked. Jeraldo was sitting on one of the blades of the ceiling fan, a post-it note hung from his hand, the towel laid over the elf's back. I laughed, "The ceiling fan?"

"Seems as elfish a place as any," he replied. "Besides, half the fun is trying to figure out where the elf is in the morning."

"You sound like you've done this before," I said. "Do you want a drink?" I led the way to the kitchen.

Nick followed me. "I don't need to stay, I just had to come over to move Jeraldo. I wasn't sure if you knew to move him or not and... stuff..."

I opened the fridge, "You're welcome to hang out for a bit."

"Okay."




Nick

Abbey and I sat on her couch with our cans of Sprite she pulled from the fridge and she turned the TV on low. I ran my finger tip around the lip of the can. I wasn't sure what to say. I wanted to talk, but everything I thought of to say seemed lame.

"Thank you again, for the lights and Jeraldo. You should've seen the look on his face. He kept running to the door all day to check on the elf." Abbey laughed and glanced up at the ceiling fan.

"Jeraldo's the only thing about Christmas I remember being truly excited about every year," I said. I sipped my Sprite. I smiled, "When I was Matty's age, we used to spend a week in upstate New York at my grandparent's house and Jeraldo was the name of the elf at my grandmother's house and she used to move him every night while we were in bed into the funniest places and we'd all wake up and it was like a race who would find Jeraldo first."

Abbey laughed, "Aw..."

"The best was mornings when we got up and he'd been into mischief," I laughed, "We'd find him doing stuff like trying to pick up sugar that he'd spilled or a big mess of toilet paper in the bathroom and he'd be all wrapped up in the middle of it, and only my grandmother could pick him up to move him somewhere safe because elves are allergic to children."

"So I hear," Abbey said, "Apparently the magic goes out of them."

I nodded solemnly.

Abbey laughed.

"I just thought it'd be something fun," I said.

"Well thank you," Abbey replied.

I nodded.

"So..." she said slowly.

I took a deep breath. I knew what she was asking with the so. "I talked to Lauren," I confessed. Abbey shifted so she was facing me. "She didn't deny it. It was kind of my fault, it's a long story. Bri and I came out and did all this last night after I talked to her. I just needed some space to think and stuff, you know? So anyways, Brian went back to Atlanta, he had some family stuff he had to take care of." I stared at my hands. "I'm staying at a hotel tonight."

"She's still at your house?" Abbey asked.
I nodded.

"Why isn't she the one at the hotel?" Abbey demanded, "She cheats on you, and you let her have the house? Nick, that's not fair. Let her go stay with what's-his-face, the Game Stop guy."

"Travis," I supplied.

"Yeah, him."

"I didn't wanna throw her out," I answered, "I just... I just needed some space, that's all."

"Don't tell me you're gonna go back to her after she's done this to you?" Abbey asked.

I shrugged. "I dunno, I mean... like I said, it was partly my fault, I wasn't there, I wasn't all in the relationship, you know, I was holding back, and --"

"That's not an excuse, Nick," Abbey said, "She should've broken up with you if that's what her issue was, not sleep around behind your back."

"Well, yeah.. I guess, but --"

"No buts, Nick, she shouldn't have done that to you."

"But I love her and if I can fix this somehow, I need to," I said, "Because I made a commitment, when I asked her to marry me. To me, I might as well be married already, I feel that way and I need to honor the relationship like that. I can't just run off and divorce her because we hit a rough patch."

"Cheating on you is more than a rough patch," Abbey replied.

She was right. I knew a part of me at least agreed with what she was saying. The other part wanted to just erase it from my memory, to go back to Lauren and pretend nothing had happened between us, and try to work on making things better. I felt conflicted. I stood up. "I better go," I said, "It's almost ten and I'm tired and I'm sure you're tired and I only came over to move the elf anyway."

Abbey got up. "I'm sorry," she said.

"Don't be sorry," I answered. "I know stuff like this is hard to understand from the outside and you're just trying to help me, I get it."

Abbey sighed.

"If you need me, you've got my cell number. Or you can call me. I'm staying at the Holiday Inn down the street. Room 864."

Abbey nodded.

"Night," I said.

I drove back to the hotel feeling frustrated. I didn't know what I wanted or what I should do about Lauren. I got up to my hotel room and laid on the bed in the dark, listening to the sounds of traffic outside and staring up at the bumps in the ceiling, missing the feeling of the weight of someone else there in the bed with me, missing the warmth of her feet by mine, missing the smell of her hair and her perfume in the sheets and on the pillows. To get to sleep, I closed my eyes and I hugged one of the pillows and I pressed my nose into it, imagining the scent of her hair, imagining the feeling of her body...

It was as I was dropping off to sleep that I realized the woman I was imagining beside me may not have been Lauren.